Despite what many masculine influencers tell young men today, marriage is good. There is no greater blessing in a man’s life than to have a good wife. While marriage has its own challenges, a good marriage makes life easier in many respects because you are facing challenges with mutual support and effort. A good wife makes a good life. (This, by the way, is very different than what is usually meant by “Happy wife. Happy life.” That’s another subject for another day.)
The good wife is described in rich, poetic detail in Proverbs 31. While not every woman will do exactly what this woman is said to do, women in general and wives in particular are to emulate the character of this woman.
Solomon characterizes her as a “strong” woman in Proverbs 31:10. This word is usually translated as “excellent” or “virtuous,” but the root speaks of strength. What follows is a poetic exposition of what “strong” means.
Strength is integrity. Integrity speaks of that which is strong because of its purity. Wood and metal are said to be integrous when there is no rot in the wood or air pockets in the metal. A house that has integrity is one that is built well and is solid with no weaknesses. For this reason, you can trust the strength of the wood, metal, or house, knowing that it will not fail you. So it is with the heart of the husband with his Lady Wisdom (31:11). The husband can give his heart to her in complete trust, knowing that she will do him good and not evil (31:12). She is a place of rest and comfort. She makes his life joyful, and he delights in her.
He knows she is not a liar, telling him one thing while doing another and working against the home’s mission. She doesn’t destructively manipulate, always trying to turn situations to her personal advantage while disadvantaging him.
Her integrity is also revealed in her emotional strength and stability. She is not controlled by undisciplined emotions, falling to pieces any time difficulties arise, but faces them with calm resolve. Because of this, her husband does not constantly have to help keep her together so that his focus is drawn away from the larger mission of the home.
Lady Wisdom is trustworthy because she is loyal. Her husband doesn’t wonder if she is faithful to him. He knows that he has her heart, and because of that, she has his. Her integrity refuses to allow her to bail on commitments when they become inconvenient or if some more fun offer comes along. She swears to her own hurt (Ps 15:4). She is a woman of integrity.
Lady Wisdom is also a woman of industry (31:13-19, 24, 27). She doesn’t eat the bread of idleness, engaging in frivolous, non-productive activities to the neglect of her household. She always works for her household (31:15), watching the way of her house (27). While she works outside the home in some business ventures, she always works for the home, never neglecting her domestic duties. She is an aggressive go-getter, seeking “wool and flax” to cloth those of her household as best she can and sell her quality merchandise to the merchants. She works, makes money, and then reinvests the profits to increase the wealth of her household so that there will never be any lack.
To be as industrious as she is, she must be an educated woman, knowing the basics of economics, how to do business without being swindled, and having skills that make her products desirable. She strives for excellence in all that she does. She doesn’t need to be a “fish sign” on her business to let people know it is a Christian business. Her character and the quality of her work testify to that.
She engages in her industry with diligence and delight. She works with “delighted hands” (31:13, literally). She is happy to do what she does because she works for those she loves. She is working to build her husband’s house, not “freeing herself” from the drudgery of working for her husband and home to work for another man’s house in his business or even seeking to build her own name through career advancement. She lives so that her husband will be exalted, known and respected in the places of authority in the city (31:23).
Generosity is also part of her strength (31:20). Reflecting the character of her God, she has compassion for the poor and needy. Because she works the way she does, the household has the wherewithal to help meet the needs of the poor and needy. Her generosity is rooted in compassion, but it is also with an eye to the future of her household. She knows that those generous to the poor lend to Yahweh, and he will repay them (19:17) with eternal significance. She is always looking to the long-term wealth of her household.
Despite the risks associated with modern American dating and marriage culture, marriage is worth the risk. A young man must always be discerning and not enter into unwise unions with risky women, that is, women who lack character. But neither should marriage be a risk that men avoid at all costs.
Young women, in a world of women of questionable or unquestionably lousy character, you have the opportunity to stand out as a Lady Wisdom. Ladies, do you look like this? If you don’t, what’s keeping you from looking like this?
Photo by Karolina Grabowska
[…] I wrote in my previous article, the strong wife is a woman of integrity, industry, and generosity. All of these character […]