One danger of any ritual is thinking it works for blessing standing alone. The water of baptism magically grants eternal salvation apart from faith. The bread and wine of the Lord’s Supper convey blessings no matter how you live outside of the church or if you participate in the worship service. The “sinner’s prayer” saves apart from participation in the body of Christ and without perseverance. No matter the ritual, there are always dangers of isolating them from a full life of faith, treating them as if they are magic spells.
Those of us who have the privilege of practicing full covenant communion (that is, welcoming our baptized children to the Table) are not immune from the danger. Just as some treat baptism as something of a finish line, so some parents and churches treat paedocommunion (child communion) as if eating the bread and drinking the wine of communion are all that matters for the children. They don’t have to participate in the rest of the service. They can be in a nursery or some other room in the building, cutting themselves off entirely from the rest of the congregation, but when it comes time for communion, they expect to be a part.
With the privilege of paedocommunion comes responsibilities. Communion is the apex of the worship service, a piece of the whole, the end of the journey up God’s holy mountain. Participating in communion assumes that you have heard God’s call to worship, confessed and been cleansed of sin, and been consecrated by his Word. In other words, communion assumes that you have participated in the rest of the worship service. Bread and wine declare peace with God, and peace with God assumes you have received all God’s gifts that precede the gift of peace. Communion can’t be separated from the rest of the service. You can’t just walk in at the end of the service, receive the bread and wine, walk out, and expect that you have received God’s blessing. You haven’t. Indeed, you may be receiving the opposite.
Worship that culminates in the Lord’s Supper is covenant renewal. Covenant renewal is the time that God comes to declare his loving loyalty to his people and we, in response, declare our loving allegiance to him. Throughout history, God has included children in these covenant renewal ceremonies. “Little ones” are gathered around Moses on the mountain when the covenant is renewed (Deut 29:1-15). This is the covenant God made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that was fulfilled in the Passover, Exodus, and formation of the children of Israel into a nation at Mt Sinai. This covenant was renewed in all the worship rites and rituals at the Tabernacle in the various offerings and feasts. Children participated in these covenant renewals (see Deut 31:9-13; Josh 8:35). When Paul wrote to the churches in the first century and expected his letters to be read to the congregation, he expected children to be present (see Eph 6:1; Col 3:20). We know from 1 Corinthians and Acts that when the church gathered, the Lord’s Supper was eaten. Children were to be present in the worship or covenant renewal of the church.
We know that children can’t understand everything in the worship service. So, why should they be there? They are covenant members, and as covenant members God is renewing the covenant with them too. They have privileges and responsibilities. The worship service is not all about intellectual ability (much to the chagrin of many a Reformed pastor and layman). God wants them there because he makes commitments to them, has commands for them, and expects them to be in his presence.
Their presence and participation in communion require something of the parents and the rest of the church. First, when the parents presented these children for baptism, Jesus took them and declared them to belong to him. Then he gave them back to the parents as members of his church to be good stewards of them, to train them to be the worshipers the Father seeks (John 4:23). Training children to participate in the worship service at various levels of maturity is vital to their discipleship.
Participating in worship in the younger years will be getting children to the place where they can be with the congregation without making a spectacle of themselves. We gather for worship as a unified body, speaking with one voice (Rom 15:6). It is not a time for children or adults to show off. We are an army that walks in lockstep with cadences. Our children need to learn this. It will take time and effort. Christian parenting is not for the lazy. You may have to take that little one out of the sanctuary several times during the worship service for some directed instruction, but you need to bring him back in. If he knows he can act up and go to a playroom like he wants, he will play you like a cheap fiddle every time. If he knows that there is nothing pleasant outside the doors of the sanctuary and that he will inevitably be returning, it may take a while, but he will get the picture.
The disciplines of worship begin at home. Parents must have a disciplined household, one in which children are trained to understand that there are times to work and there are times to play, there are times to speak and there are times to be quiet. Fathers should direct the family this way, especially if you have little ones. Family worship is a time when children can learn that they must sit still and defer to others, controlling their impulses to blurt out. The instruction in family worship may not be making sure they understand the hypostatic union of Christ. Instruction may be that they learn to control themselves for the sake of the body of Christ.
Communion comes with responsibilities. When our children are young, the primary responsibility is on the parents to train them to participate in worship. The bread and wine aren’t magically conveying blessing apart from the rest of the worship service. Don’t teach your children that they are by excluding them from the worship service.
