Social media are changing the way we relate to one, and not all of it is bad. Through various social media we can receive information that we would not have had in the past. We can now maintain contact with people whom we have come to know through the years. Technology has afforded us privileges that former generations could have never even imagined. But there are dangers as well; dangers of which we need to be aware and with which we need to engage as we are saturated with this culture that is shaping our lives. Our ability to stay connected at a distance feeds a sinful temptation to salve our desire not to remain lonely yet at the same time remain hidden from others by not allowing anyone to know us too intimately.
Our eternal, triune God created us in relationship and to pursue relationships. Sin destroys our relationships because now we want to hide from God and others just as Adam and Eve did after they sinned. Since we are created in the image of God, we always have this yearning for friendship; to know and be known by others. But we are, many times, afraid. We are afraid that if we allow someone to continually dig into our lives, he will eventually find something there that will repulse him. The converse is also true: if we continue to grow in intimacy with someone, we may be afraid that we will eventually be disappointed and hurt. So, we shield ourselves, keeping people at a safe distance through various means. Superficiality and creating images of ourselves for people online that make it look as if our lives are fantastic all the time make us virtually (pun intended) unknowable. Replacing the pearls of deep friendship with the paste pearls of six hundred “friends” or “followers” online will cost us deeply if we, as the church, don’t recognize the trends and stand against the rising tide that threatens to overwhelm us in its shallowness.
The church is affected. Relationships in the church ought to be easy; as easy as “friending” someone on Facebook or “following” someone on Twitter. Consequently, breaking off the relationships ought to be just as easy. People come to churches now that have presented themselves to the world through social media as the place to be. Life is great. Come here and we will solve all of your problems. All of this will be yours while you remain relatively disconnected and uninvolved. You may come to worship once per week, barely participating, and not stay for any other educational classes or small groups, but you should expect people to know you, know your struggles, and be there for you when you need them. You may live in isolation from everyone, not allowing anyone into your life, but you should expect that whatever you need from others to be as convenient as your smartphone.
Right or wrong, these are some of the images that are projected to market churches in the name of “winning people to Christ.” But just as with everything else in the Christian life, following Christ and becoming friends with his people is a messy process and difficult work. If you want people to “be there for you” when you are in need, people must know who you are and how you will respond to them when they try to help you. They can’t know you through Instagram or 240-characters-or-less Tweets. You must be in their presence, sharing time and space with them, and making yourself known to others. If you are to have friends–people who will be there for you in your struggles–you must show yourself friendly. Friendships are not to be used merely to get you through a tough time and then discarded until the next difficulty. Friendships exist so that when you have struggles, the ones in whom you have invested yourself will gladly be there for you.
The good news is that true friendship is made available by God’s grace once again in the church. What sin has decimated Christ is restoring. This doesn’t mean that friendships will be easy. They aren’t. Just look at all the troubles in the churches to whom Paul wrote. Because of the continuing presence of sin, relationships remain messy. People will not live up to your expectations at times. (Sometimes your expectations are legitimate and sometimes they are not.) You will still be hurt at times. But where sin abounds grace much more abounds. In Christ, we are united in such a way by his Spirit that we can work through these difficulties and make and maintain friendships. In so doing we can experience the grace of God in the church as God gives us his grace in the form of friends. And in forming true friendships we experience the very life God himself.
