“He who finds a wife finds good and obtains favor from Yahweh.”
Proverbs 18:22; 8:35
“For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from Yahweh.”
The parallels between a wife and Wisdom are apparent in Proverbs 18:22 and 8:35. The man who finds a wife and the man who finds Wisdom finds good, true life, and obtains favor from Yahweh. The image of Wisdom–the incarnation of Wisdom–is a good wife. Proverbs 18:22 leads us to reflect on the whole of Proverbs 8 as a description of Lady Wisdom. The parallels are detailed in Proverbs 31:10-31, but we start learning of the character of Lady Wisdom long before we reach the end of Proverbs.
One truth we learn about Lady Wisdom as a good wife from Proverbs 8 is that by her kings reign (8:15). Lady Wisdom is the glory of the king.
“Glory” speaks of weightiness. The Hebrew word speaks of something being heavy. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown” captures a great deal of what is meant by glory. The crown is the visible representation of the king’s rule, his glory. At his creation, man is crowned with glory and honor, given dominion over the earth (Psa 8). He is created to become more glorious, moving from glory to glory (see 2 Cor 3:18). As he grows, increasing his dominion, what he develops will adorn him, adding more weight to him in beauty and responsibility. A crown made of gold and encrusted with jewels is literally heavy on the head, weighing it down, but it is also beautiful.
The woman is the glory of the man (1 Cor 11:7). She adorns him. She is a weighty responsibility for him, but she is also a strength for him. She rules with him and provides strength for him. A good wife makes it possible for a man to do what he does and, thus, be exalted. When Wisdom is operating at full strength, so to speak, she makes her king stronger, enabling him to rule better and extend the kingdom.
For example, when a wife is managing her household well, while the husband continues to oversee the household, he can focus on the larger mission outside the home, helping him rule the entire city (see Pr 31:23). She strengthens him by taking care of that which is given to her so that his heart trust in her. Because he doesn’t have to worry about the responsibilities given to her, knowing that she is managing them well according to the mission of the home, he is free to expand the mission.
She can do things he can’t do, which complements and helps complete the kingdom mission. She can do things that he can do but would take away from things that only he can do. For example, she nurtures in a way he can’t, which helps the home run smoothly. The man is physically able to do housework, but if he is doing that, he can’t deal with the children the way only a father can, provide for the family the way only a man can do, or open all the pickle jars. They are working together with a division of labor that makes them more productive.
Her strength is aimed toward exalting her husband by enabling him to do what he can. She will take everything she can so that he can do all he can. She wants him to look good and have more power, advancing the cause of the kingdom as far as he is able.
A funny thing happens when she does this: she is exalted. She is praised by her husband and children (Pr 31:28). She becomes more powerful because she seeks to empower her husband. She rules more when he rules more.
The good wife, Lady Wisdom, loses her life for the sake of her husband so that she may find life.
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