For years, we have had children and adults in our house. We feed people, and people feed us when they bring some of their delicacies. The entire exchange is glorious and delicious. We have folks weekly for psalms and dessert, and then we have our share of friends and guests staying with us overnight or having meals with us.
Eggs, chips and dip, toast, butter, coffee, whiskey, beer, soups, and none of those things in that exact order. The whole thing is a glorious mess of humans and food, the kind of mess that makes the kingdom of God glorious. We love the entire process, and the process creates a sense of normalcy that is utterly uncomfortable in our culture.
The discomfort stems from a sense of unrealistic neatness that also prohibits the world of hospitality that many evangelicals wish they had more of but do not believe is sustainable if they have a steady number of guests in their homes.
Our general policy is that we clean when guests come over, which means we clean often, and with our eager tribe of children, cleaning is much more effective, especially with Sargent Wifey. But the expectation–one I am constantly adjusting to as a Latin man who grew up with impeccable clean homes–that things must always be a certain way and that the home must maintain the correct Asian procedural methods of a certain short lady (how racist of me!) is utterly unrealistic and squashes the culture of hospitality.
The reality is that a home without guests doth not spark joy in the kingdom. Of course, I am not suggesting we forsake those habits of cleanliness, but I do suggest we loosen our commitment to certain habits as prerequisites for hospitality.
Think of how many opportunities have been missed because we assumed that such and such a person would look down on us if they saw our house a certain way, the clothes on the couch, the boys’ room in utter chaos, etc.? How many opportunities have been ruined for sweet and intimate communion because we are not “spontaneous” kind of people?
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