MENU

family
Tag Archive

On November 29, 2022 By In Church, Discipleship, Family and Children

Family Worship and Chaotic Schedules

Photo Credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/factory-demolition-destruction-4757647/

Family Worship Inquiry

A question I love getting from Husbands and Fathers is general advice about family worship. As Fathers, the leaders in covenant homes, we are commissioned by God’s word to teach our covenant children the ways of the Lord every day, and all throughout the day (Deut. 6). We are also instructed in the Proverbs to train up a child in the way they should for when they grow old, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). All of this is reiterated by the Apostle Paul in Ephesian 6 when he commands Fathers to “not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” The weight Fathers feel concerning the task of discipling their families is good and right. Husbands and Fathers have been given a high calling to water their wives with the water of the word of God and to also raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 5 & 6).

I recently received a question about this joyous duty. The central point of this man’s question was about how to achieve family worship consistently when you have a hectic or random schedule. The following is my reply to this concerned Husband and Father with some minor adjustments and additions.

Answer Part 1

The first part of my answer: I think one of the most important things to remember about family worship is that it does not need to look like a Lord’s Day worship service. Remember, that this is family worship with a lowercase ‘w’. It could also very well be called Family Bible study or family discipleship. This does not mean it is unimportant. It is important, like really important. But it is still not equal to Lord’s Day capital ‘W’ Worship. I want to make this distinction so that you know that you need not don a clerical collar, call your family to worship, preach a sermon, assign a son to help distribute the Eucharist, and take an offering before anyone is allowed to brush their teeth and head to bed.

The main thing for you to remember is that you are discipling your family during your time of family worship. This should of course mean reading through books of the Bible with your family and singing Psalms, Hymns, and spiritual songs together. But also, add into the mix books of/on church history, learn Psalms chanting or a new Hymn together, read through The Chronicles of Narnia, or simply pick from many other helpful Christian books to read through and discuss. There are many ways to crack this egg.

Another important thing to practice (which, in turn, is not good for a Lord’s Day Worship setting) is to allow and encourage rabbit trails about our faith and how it applies to every area of life. If your wife or covenant kiddo has a question, spend time answering it. Whatever you do, do not brush it off or move on too quickly. You do not want anyone in your family to feel uncomfortable asking their spiritual leaders questions about their faith. When this happens, that family member is displaying much-valued humility and trust in their spiritual leader. Don’t crush that. That is something to be cultivated, water, and protected.

You specifically mentioned consistency. This is huge. My simple encouragement is to pick a time that works and stick with it. You may need to try a couple of different times before figuring out what works best. That’s OK. If you miss a day, do not grieve as the Gentiles who have no hope. God’s mercies are new every day and His steadfast love endures forever. Get back up and continue mission.

Answer Part 2

Question: What about random schedules?

Answer: Yeah, schedules, especially random ones, are sometimes difficult dragons to slay. The first thing I would figure out is if the randomness is a symptom of something deeper. Some diagnostic questions might be helpful. Do you lack basic time management? Do you lack self-discipline?  Beyond that, it might be helpful to choose a form of family worship that works for each context. Decide to do something shorter/easier on the days with less time and extend it for days/contexts that are less busy. If you did that and were able to get something in every day, you and your family would benefit tremendously. Additionally, take advantage of the many audio versions of content that are available to the Church today.

Finally, whatever you do, do it, and don’t ever give up. Giving up teaches a much worse lesson to your family than trying to faithful lead your family and for one reason or another it doesn’t go perfectly. Turns out, on this side of glory, it will never go “perfectly”. Look to Christ in everything you do, and bring your family along with you.

I hope that helps.

“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 (ESV)

Read more

On May 12, 2018 By In Family and Children, Pro-Life

Parents: Honor Life Ended

Naomi is a mother and photographer in Martinsburg, West Virginia, where she and her husband are church planters and founding members of Trinity Reformed Church (CREC).

“But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive. But each one in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, afterward those who are Christ’s at His coming. Then comes the end, when He delivers the kingdom to God the Father, when He puts an end to all rule and all authority and power. For He must reign till He has put all enemies under His feet. The last enemy that will be destroyed is death.” (1 Corinthians 15:20-26)

Our Bridegroom is a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. His creation is, after all, tainted throughout by the great grief-giver: death.

(more…)

Read more

On July 14, 2015 By In Culture, Family and Children

The Coming Division Between Christ and Family

For many generations Christians or converts to Christianity in the West (Europe & America) did not have to sacrifice much. The reason was Western Christendom. Most of society was built on Christian laws and operated under a Christian ethic. If someone  got saved at a revival meeting they went out into a world, that for the most part, approved of their conversion and the actions that flowed from it.  If a preacher called a man to come to Christ, that repentance rarely meant that the man would lose his family or job for believing in Jesus. Christianity was the air that we breathed. It was not perfect of course. The cracks that were there are now causing the structure to collapse. But for a long time the Western world was a safe place for Christians and those who converted to Christianity.

This is changing rapidly.  Conversion to Christ in the West  will require more and more sacrifice as the years go by. In particular, we will find families divided. There will be other types of loss, such as jobs and money, but few things compare to being rejected by family. Losing family is a deep and painful wound. New Christians will not find their family members approving of them and their actions. Instead they will find themselves in the position of many Muslims who lose all when they choose Christ. Two Muslim brothers who came to Jesus described it this way:

Faith [in Jesus] often means the total rejection of culture, ethnicity, family, and friends. To find heaven’s glory in Jesus Christ, we Caner brothers lost our father. (Islam Unveiled)

Another example is Rosaria Butterfield who was a lesbian professor at a major university when she came to Jesus. In the account of her conversion she notes that not only did she lose her friends, they felt betrayed by her. They put their trust in her. They counted on her to support them. When she came to Christ, they felt like she had stabbed them in the back. While this was not her biological family, the bonds she felt with these people were as strong as natural family bonds.

Stories like these will become common as the years progress.  We will hear of sons being rejected by fathers and fathers rejected by sons. We will hear of children raised in homosexual homes converting to Christ and being rejected by their parents. We will hear of daughters being kicked out of homes for their faith in Christ. We will hear of Muslims rejecting family members for conversion, not in the Middle East, but here in America. We will hear of close knit groups who hate a member for leaving them and following Jesus. The possibilities are endless, but the probability of families, biological or otherwise, being divided by Christ get higher with each passing day.

How can the church prepare for this?

First, we must remind ourselves and tell those we evangelize that Jesus demands absolute loyalty. Family is not the highest good. Jesus is. You can gain your family and lose Jesus. You can hold to all sorts of wonderful family values, like the Mormons and the Muslims, and still burn in Hell. Jesus came to separate.

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person’s enemies will be those of his own household. Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. (Matthew 10:34-38)

Family is important, but it does not trump Jesus Christ.  If we give the impression that family is more important than Jesus people will not make the choice to follow Jesus with their whole heart. They will be divided. We must declare without apology, that if the choice is Jesus or family, Jesus wins.

Second, our churches must be places where broken families integrate into God’s family of brothers and sisters. Single mothers, divorced folks, people recovering from sodomy and abortion, the abused, the sexually broken, etc. when they trust in Christ and are baptized should find a place in our churches to serve and grow. Widows must be cared for and orphans must be adopted. If our churches cannot or will not bring in these people then we are saying biological family trumps God’s family. We are saying you must come from a whole family in order to be part of God’s family. That is a grievous sin and shows disloyalty to Jesus. However, teaching this is not enough. Somehow, and it is not easy, we must create a tone, an atmosphere where broken families are welcome. A church that emphasizes family can make people from broken homes feel unwelcome. We must remember deep in our bones that we  too were broken (Titus 3:3) and outside of God’s family (Ephesians 4:14-22), but God in his grace adopted us and saved us.

Third, we must maintain strong families, but not idolize them. A good Biblical home is a wonderful witness of God’s grace to the watching world. We should teach and model what a Christian husband and wife look like. We should teach parents to raise their children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord. We should encourage our young people to get married and have lots of children.  But all of this must be done, not as an end to itself, but as a way to glorify God and build his kingdom. If we build the family for the sake of the family then we have made the family an idol. And God destroys idols. But if we build our families so they might serve Christ and serve His church, including those among us do not have families, then we are reflecting Biblical priorities.

Fourth, we should be grateful for the good relationships we have with non-Christian family members. For many of us, even though our family is not worshiping Jesus, we still get along. The relationship is not completely severed.  Of course, there is always a divide. No matter how much we love our family, if they do not trust in Christ there is chasm that cannot be crossed until they believe.  But God is kind. He gives common grace so we can enjoy their company and they our’s despite their lack of faith.

Finally, we should be thankful when our biological family is Christian. My whole family believes in the Lord Jesus Christ. He could have made me choose between Christ and my family as many Christians around the world have done. But he didn’t. God in his mercy has made my temporary, biological family part of my eternal, spiritual family.  The only proper response to this astonishing fact is gratitude.

Read more

On April 26, 2014 By In Family and Children

Love for the Mundane

It’s Saturday! In our household that means a little more sleep. We treasure those 30 minutes. In college, time was on our side. Naps were luxuries we took for granted. Now here we are: ten years have passed and three children later (one more on the way). Time matters a whole lot! The children are consistent early-risers. They are punctual little creatures. They love time. They love it so much that even without an alarm clock they detect that 6AM is coming. I am not fully awake, but I can hear them coming. Sometimes they come silently. Sometimes they come like hungry warriors. But they come…consistently. My lovely wife makes the first move. She is more courageous than I am that early. She does it without flinching. “What a mom,”  I utter as I zombie my way back to sleep. Breakfast is ready. Children are fed. Sometimes the beach is a fine option. But the evening is reserved; an early Sabbath.

We begin our preparation for worship. Sunday mornings with three little ones can be a challenge. We try to go to bed relatively early. We usually make no Saturday appointments. Saturday evening is sacred in that we prepare ourselves for the sacred gathering. It is almost a ritual for us. Ironing and showers are constant activities. If we are hosting, it demands extra effort from our team. My oldest child unloads the dishwasher. My second child wants to do everything my oldest child does, which can be both entertaining and frightening to watch. My third child laughs, tumbles, and laughs some more. Preparation is key. And we begin the preparation early. Sunday morning arrives.

The man of the house is also the pastor of the Church. He begins to prepare himself psychologically for the events of the day. Sermon notes run through his mind; mental editing begins and really never stops until he begins preaching. He begins to hum through the psalms and hymns. Sunday mornings are created equal. It is always hard work. “Is the beer in the fridge for the guests?” “Are the floors clean?” “Are the plates set?” “We need to leave in the next ten minutes!” The excitement builds. We love Church. We prepare for it. But with little children nothing is easy. Mommy prepares herself. She makes sure that her war tools are ready: Diapers: check. Milk: check. Snacks: check. “I think we are ready!” She has her army under control. “Where are my clerical collars?” I ask. I have so many of them, but they never seem to be in the same place they were seven days ago. It’s naive of me to think they will be. But that is my liturgical pattern every Sunday.

It would be lovely to be a wizard. “A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.” a But that’s not how it works for pastors and their families. “Children, what day is today?” “The Lord’s Day!” “What do we do today?” “We worship God and sing His praises.” Yes, we do all these things, but it’s been a long journey until that moment. We died in one hundred different ways during the week, so we can be brought to life on the day of Resurrection. “Live the liturgy,” says the preacher. We are trying. It’s extremely challenging. It’s really very sanctifying. It’s holy work. Yes, it is.<>обслуживание интернет акак создать бизнес в интернет

  1. Tolkien  (back)

Read more

On October 25, 2013 By In Culture, Family and Children

As Temperatures Drop, We’re Getting Warmer

by Marc Hays

Fireplace by Clay Chapman

Fireplace by Clay Chapman

Three years ago, while building our house, we installed both a chimney and an electric heat pump.  The heat pump was for present use.  The chimney was for the future, standing cold and dormant while the heat pump did its work. For all the benefits that it does have, there is something missing from the heat pump experience; something crucial, like heat.  Although a heat pump keeps the pipes from freezing, one cannot stand over the grate and actually get warm.  Instead, there’s a draft– a mildly lukewarm breeze that actually sends chills down my spine just thinking about it.

Last winter, due to rising energy prices coupled with the desire to complete one of my several unfinished projects, I built a brick hearth and installed a Buck stove. My wife was very happy to see the electric bill drop, as expected.  I was happy to check one thing off my chore list, as expected.  The wood was happy to burn and the smoke happy to rise, but then something unexpected happened.  The living room got warm.  I mean, I knew it would get warm.  Fire tends to do that sort of thing, but the room actually became a place where you wanted to be.  The room became cozy.

Like moths to a flame, the children began to congregate around the wood stove.  Puzzles, board games, books, Legos and baby dolls made their way out of the nether regions of the house and assembled in the living room.  Since there’s no TV in that room, the children did things with one another, and unlike the lukewarm air that used to be forced into the rooms, the children were not.  They gathered and played quite naturally.

Fireplace by Clay Chapman

Fireplace by Clay Chapman

Now on Saturdays we drive the crew cab into the woods, fell the trees, and cut them into pint-size pieces.  My pint-size people load them into the truck and then unload them behind the house.  As a family, we are together more, and more importantly, we are working together more.

As idyllic as all this sounds, however, we are not the perfect family.  We bring our sin into the living room with us, and quarrels are kindled more often than the fire.  We have miles and miles left to go before we reach our destination, but by the grace of God through an old Buck stove, we’re getting warmer.

Check out more of Clay Chapman’s work at periodarchitecture.com

<>siteпроверить индексацию а google

Read more