In this series: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
The fifth duty of the assembly toward one another is to confront and forgive sin. No doubt, this is the requirement that causes the most consternation for Christians. Of all the duties listed in this series, this is the command that many churches neglect altogether. That shouldn’t be the case. Confronting sin is never fun or easy, but it is a command from God. We must obey it, and he will give us the strength to do so.
Step one: Keep it private
Consider the instruction from Jesus himself in Matthew 18.
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother (Matthew 18:15)
Jesus establishes that you are deputized to confront those who sin against you. If someone sins against you, you have the authority to go to them privately and try to make amends. The goal is for the offender to repent and for you to forgive him. The intent of this process is not to humiliate the offender, but to bring about reconciliation.
Popular belief would have you think that confronting sin is unloving and vindictive. But does that sound like something Jesus would approve of? No. Confronting sin is actually based on love. It is a good and gracious thing, and your demeanor must reflect that. You do not confront someone with anger and disrespect. You approach them with kindness and gentleness.
How should Matthew 18 work in practice? If a fellow assembly-member sins against you, you start by keeping it as quiet as possible. You’re supposed to deal with it privately, with that person alone. You should clearly explain your grievance, citing Bible verses as necessary. Ideally, the person will confess his fault and ask for your forgiveness. You must then forgive him (Matthew 18:22, Colossians 3:13).
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