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How Can We Cultivate Calmness in Motherhood?

A Guest Post by Danielle Poorman

There are many reasons why mothers struggle with their emotions. We live in an age where mothers are always being compared to one another and expectations to uphold the “perfect standards” are high. This is dangerous. When we as mothers submit ourselves to these comparisons and expectations, it leaves us vulnerable to dangerous emotions such as anger, anxiety, and depression.

Every mother I know wishes for more tranquility in her life as well as her family’s. So, how can mothers cultivate calmness amidst the distractions and uncertainty of everyday life?

Mothers have a high calling from our Heavenly Father. This goes well beyond the daily tasks that occur everyday inside and outside of the home. In the midst of everyday life and seasons of uncertainty, it’s very easy to lose sight of our purpose and calling.

God has uniquely called us to the amazing journey of motherhood. Your calling and your purpose are to glorify God. In some cases that may look like caring for the little people in your home to the best of your ability as you train them up in virtue. In other scenarios glorifying God as a mother may look different from your neighbor or from a mother who’s more seasoned in her journey. God has a divine and unique plan for each one of us as mothers but the end goal is His glory. 

If we can learn the value of cultivating calmness, those practices and mindset will carry us through EVERY season. In the end, when we experience seasons of uncertainty and life turns upside down, our spirits will feel less chaotic. 

How Can You Cultivate Clarity When It Doesn’t Come Naturally?

Some mothers, such as myself, find it difficult to find clarity in certain seasons of life. This is particularly true when schedules are busier, sickness occurs, or we’re in a long season of character training with our children. Cultivating clarity and calmness does not come naturally in my life. It’s a process, but one that is worth the effort. 

Remembering that cultivation is a process is necessary. Regardless of where you are in your motherhood journey, remember back to when you were just navigating the waters of being a new mom. At each stage of your child’s development, you had to learn and navigate new territory over again. The training process seemed long but each seed you planted began to grow contributing to your “budding plants.”

One helpful way to cultivate calmness is –if at all possible–to find times to be alone! That can be tough at times with little ones who are so needy but this is essential to gain clarity. Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to get alone with God. 

Matthew 14:23  – “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.”

Jesus sets the ultimate example for us in passages such as this one. He removes himself from distractions and gets alone. It’s important for us as mothers that we follow the same example. 

Even a few quality minutes alone in prayer each day will intentionally cultivate clarity in your calling and calmness in your spirit. Cultivating calmness takes time but it is an intentional process.

Mothers experience chaos in various forms. There are times when chaos is unavoidable. Part of cultivating calmness includes taking a step back and analyzing the areas where chaos is causing restlessness. 

Ask yourself, “What area am I striving for perfection where I need to relinquish control?” “Am I desiring peace in the process of motherhood?” We can often feel a lack of calmness when we refuse to allow God to lead.  Acknowledging our weakness and accepting God’s strength gives us the freedom to put on the calmness He wants to give.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

What a beautiful reminder that God does not expect perfection for us as mothers. In fact, He desires that we rejoice in our weaknesses so that we can fully accept His grace. When we as mothers rest in the power of Christ, we take the first step to cultivating calmness in motherhood. 

Danielle Poorman is a homeschooling mother of two children. She blogs at Danielle Hope where she encourages other mothers to find value and virtue in motherhood. 

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