The Church has traditionally and historically confessed three purposes or functions for marriage. The WCF, for example, says: “Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, for the increase of mankind with legitimate issue, and of the church with an holy seed; and for preventing of uncleanness” (24.2). We might summarize these three purposes as: procreation, protection, and pleasure, and I want to use these three as an outline for my remarks this afternoon.
Sometimes in God’s providence a couple will be unable to bear children. This may be due to age or physical disability or infertility or similar factors, but it should not ever be simply because the man and woman do not wish to be bothered. Children are a bother, but they are also an heritage of the Lord, a gift of God. The fact that this gift is sometimes inconvenient does not change its fundamental nature. God’s gifts sometimes don’t sleep well at night. They fuss when they are teething. They test the limits of mom and dad’s patience. In fact, God gives us children as a means of sanctification rather than simply for multiplication. When the Lord gives you a gift, you are supposed to say, “Thank you.” You should never say, “No, thank you” or “please give it to someone else.”
God created marriage, in part, so that human beings would have babies. But this was not only so that the human race would continue. God does not mean for us to bear vipers in diapers—he wants a godly seed. That means you must bring your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Better never to have children than to neglect their spiritual formation. You are not merely raising future citizens. You are raising your own brothers and sisters in Christ. You will spend eternity with these little people, and they will not be little anymore. They will be glorious and glorified worshipers, so love them and lead as those who understand what God is making of them one day.
We are not only formalizing a marriage today; God is creating a new household. Aiden and Rachel, you are no longer independent people. You are becoming one flesh, and that unity is not for yourselves; it is for the glory of God, the growth of the kingdom of Christ, and the fulfillment of God’s eternal purpose to redeem and save the world. God will give you children as a gift of his grace, so be thankful for them when they come, and use those gifts well.
Marriage is also for the protection of the man and the woman. The Devil has many tools and enticements with which to lure and subdue the servants of Christ. Sometimes he even manages to use our own marriages against us. But marriage is not meant as a snare; it is more like a mine detector that helps us identify, avoid, and defuse threats along the way. You are to study each other, learn each other, and know each other so deeply and so well that you can sympathize when the other needs sympathy and refuse sympathy when the other needs to toughen up and be strong.
It was not good for man to be alone in the garden. Adam’s singleness was the first thing in all of creation that God said was not good. He needed a helper, someone to walk and work alongside of him, to help him fulfill his mission and ministry. The first world fell into sin and condemnation because Adam and Eve neglected this basic reason for their existence and relationship. Adam did not protect Eve when she was seduced by the serpent, and Eve did not help Adam when she gave him the forbidden fruit and led him to disobey God, even though he knew it was wrong. Both of them neglected their God-given responsibilities, and here we are, making marriages in Wray, CO rather than in the Garden of Eden.
Most people understand how a wife is able to protect her husband from the sexual temptation that is ubiquitous in this world. Aiden, there is nothing that a strange woman —whether in the workplace, on the roadside, or on a computer screen—has to offer in comparison to the delight and satisfaction that a godly wife can offer in your own bed. But you must protect her as well, not only from sexual impurity—though that too—but also from the more common dangers that surround women: the temptation to be vain or to measure her worth by her physical appearance, the appearance of her home, or worldly metrics. She may be threatened by sadness, discouragement, or the lies that the world whispers in her ear rather than the truth and promises God speaks to her heart. Rachel, you must keep Aiden strong and focused so that he can build the kingdom and battle the dragon every day, and Aiden you must keep Rachel happy and content in the way that you love her, praise her, and cleanse her daily with the water of the truth, God’s word.
Finally, marriage is for pleasure, the “mutual help” of the husband and wife. Being married is not always fun, but it can be and, most of the time, it should be. If you are not ever having fun, then something is wrong; you are doing it wrong. God did not bring you together to share misery; he gave you each other to create memories, share happiness, and help one another on the road to glory.
You may not always feel happy. There will be many things that are hard and heart- breaking in the days and years ahead. But you can choose to Rejoice in the Lord, always, and you should. You must. It is your God-given responsibility. The Lord does not ask you to rejoice in the bills, the baby’s colic, the boss’s godlessness, or the bumps and bruises in your own relationship. He commands you to rejoice in Christ, and to do so every day. Who God is, what Christ has done, and what he has promised to those who love him: these truths never change. They are objective, and they form the basis of our joy and hope. You must learn to look beyond the moment, to revel in transcendent joy. The house may burn down, the baby may be hospitalized, and our bank account may be empty, but Jesus died for us and rose again. Therefore we are loved and accepted by God, and the sufferings of this present time are not even worthy of comparison with the glory that awaits.
Aiden and Rachel, we have enough Christians who walk around looking like they were weaned on a dill pickle. We don’t need any more of that. God is calling you to joy today in your life together, just as he is calling you to eternal joy in union with his Son. Our lives are but a vapor, and your marriage may last seven days or seventy-five years, so make the most of it. Do not waste a moment being bitter, resentful, or ungrateful. Many enjoy joking about how miserable their marriage is. Let them be miserable, and heap coals of fire on their heads by being unashamed and unreserved in letting others see how much you enjoy one another. Your brethren should see you smile at one another across the room on Sundays, your neighbors should see you holding hands when you walk around the block, and your children should see you kissing in the kitchen… a lot. Marriage is a gift from God, and it is not wrong to enjoy God’s good gifts. In fact, it would be wrong, and I mean sinful, not to. So have fun, give thanks, and encourage each other, even when you have to do so through tears.
Aiden and Rachel, we love you and thank God for you. We thank God for his grace and mercy in your lives. We thank him for the kind of people you already are, and we are thankful for the kind of people we expect you will continue to become. We thank God for your relationship, and we look forward to seeing its fruitfulness in the years and decades to come. May the Lord richly bless you and continue to bless all of us through you. May your marriage glorify God and be faithful and fruitful in all the purposes for which he has established it: for procreation, protection, and pleasure, now and forever. Amen.
