Should a Pastor Teach Frankly About Sexual Issues?

I often address sexual sin in my writing, preaching, and counseling. When I do this I try to address it in a frank manner. Is this really necessary? As a pastor, do I need to address things like masturbation and dressing up in the bedroom?  I think this is an important question. Our world is drowning in sexual imagery and language. I can go to any “normal” news page, such as Fox News or CNN and find articles about sexual issues that range from the funny to the profane. Shows on television are frankly sexual, often involving sodomy, fornication, etc. Nudity on television has gone up dramatically over the last ten years. Even if I avoid the internet and TV there are the magazines at Wal-Mart and college girls all over town with far too little clothing or clothing that draws attention to their bodies. (One advantage of living in the North is that winter brings a reprieve to this.)  Does a pastor need to add to this? Is it really his job to deal with these types of problems in a forthright, frank manner? Maybe he should just tell his congregation about Christ and let them apply Christ to their sexual lives?

I believe a pastor must address these issues if he is to be faithful to Christ and his blood-bought Church. He must do it correctly, but it must be done. Today, I want to give reasons why a pastor must address these issues. Later in the week, I will talk about how these issues are to be addressed. We must lay a solid foundation of why a pastor can speak on these things before we get to the how he should speak on them. Throughout this paper I use the word “teach” a lot. Do not assume that I mean only public teaching. By teaching I mean a combination of public and private ministry of the Word. Let me state what used to be obvious, Christian fathers have a great obligation in this area as well. One reason there is so much sexual sin and brokenness in the church is because fathers fail to do their job to teach their sons and daughters in both word and deed about these issues. Here are the reasons why a pastor has the authority and the duty to teach on sexual holiness in a frank manner.

1. The Bible addresses almost every conceivable sexual act. Incest, rape, bestiality, lust, prostitution, adultery, fornication, sodomy, etc. are all mentioned in the Bible (See Leviticus 18). On the positive side you have the Song of Solomon, Proverbs 5:15-23, and I Corinthians 7:1-5. Of course, it is not done in a pornographic way, but these issues are addressed. If the teaching is handled correctly, which  is not easy, there is no reason to be squeamish about discussing them.
2. Sexual sins are a major part of the Biblical teaching on sin. Here is a list of some of those sins: Lamech’s numerous wives in Genesis 4, attempted sodomite rape in Genesis 19, incest in Genesis 19,  the sexual sin of Israel in Numbers 25, Samson and the prostitute in Judges 16, the rape of the Levite’s concubine in Judges 19, David’s sin with Bathsheba in II Samuel 11-12, Jesus’ teaching on lust in Matthew 5:27-30, Paul’s discussion of sleeping with a prostitute in I Corinthians 6:12-20, and the mention of a “Jezebel” who seduces men to sexual immorality in Revelation 2:20. And I could mention dozens of other passages. Sexual sin and sexual righteousness is not a blip on the Bible’s radar. They are a central theme in the Scriptures.
3. Based on 1 and 2 above I would argue that it is impossible for a pastor to be faithful to the Scriptures if he does not address various sexual practices and how to approach them biblically.  Of course, he does not have to do this in every sermon. But it should be a regular part of his private and public ministry.
4. Our cultural context demands a frank discussion of sexual issues. This is one shift from previous generations. We must learn to live in the generation that exists, not the one we wish existed. A pastor in previous generations did not have congregants (men and women) who had watched hundreds of hours of pornography prior to marriage. He did not have congregants whose views of sex, marriage, and love had been shaped by romantic comedies. He probably did not have women who had used sex toys during their college years. He probably did not have men who had experimented with homosexuality. Of course, there has always been sexual sin. But sexual sin has grown more prevalent over the last several decades, especially with the internet, where one can view pornography, find willing sexual partners, and read all about the sex lives of celebrities.  Add into this mix sexual education at the public school, the failure of Christian parents to faithfully teach their children about sexual holiness, and the failure of churches to teach on these matters and the pastor will find that most men and women coming into  his church bring a dump truck full of sexual baggage that they do not know what to do with. A pastor cannot just ignore this baggage. His job is to make disciples.  Sexual holiness is a major part of that discipleship process.
5. But should a pastor discuss sexual practices not explicitly addressed in the Bible? I mentioned two of those earlier in the post, masturbation and dressing up. Masturbation is never mentioned explicitly in the Bible. Women dressing up as cheerleaders to arouse their husbands is not mentioned either. So does a pastor just ignore these practices?  Can he just assume that people will get this right without any explicit teaching on the matter? The answer is no. Basic teaching on sexual matters and the Gospel will cure a lot of ills. But the pastor is there to shepherd the people. This means he needs to have an answer when someone asks, “Can I dress my wife up as a maid and not be sinning?” That means in private he needs to be able to ask questions that are awkward. Or when he finds out that a young man is masturbating he needs to be able to counsel that man biblically.  The Bible touches every area of our lives. We do not have a verse for every area, but the principles laid out in God’s Word can and must be applied to all areas. So yes, if there are common sexual practices that he finds members are engaged in, even if they are not addressed explicitly in the Scriptures, he should address them.
6. If the pastor does not address this issue, who will? If the pastor is not clear on these issues who will be? If the pastor will not ask the uncomfortable questions who will? Most of us come from homes where sexual holiness was rarely addressed in any detail. How many of us haven’t look at porn? How many of us had sex before we were married? How many were sexually abused? How many women have had abortions?  We could go on and on. Pastors, we must address these things. No one else will. If we do not address them we will be held accountable for letting the wolves eat the sheep (Ezekiel 34).

In summary, the Bible gives the pastor the authority and duty to address sexual sin and sexual holiness. Issues directly addressed in the Bible should be taught on, but also common sexual issues not directly addressed should be taught on using Biblical principles. In our current cultural climate a pastor should expect that addressing the past and present sexual sins of his congregation will be a regular part of his counseling, teaching, and preaching load. He should be prepared to shepherd men, women, and couples through these problems.

There are a lot of potential dangers when addressing these matters. For example, can I address these matters honestly without being crass or violating Ephesians 5:3-4? When and where should a pastor address sexual issues? How can they be addressed without causing a man struggling with lust to stumble? How should women be counseled on these matters? I will address some of these issues in another post. It is a thorny path one must walk down to disciple the congregation in sexual matters. But a man who is committed to Scripture and loves his flock has no choice.<>сео копирайтинг ценыпоисковая оптимизация а дешево

culture, pastoral, Sexual Sin