“Just tell me what to do!” Pastors and counselors sometimes hear these words from people in difficult situations. Whether they have gotten themselves into the situations through unwise decisions or suffering from someone else’s sin against them, they want answers. They want to know how to alleviate the painful consequences. Unfortunately, many people are looking for a silver bullet in the form of a simple formula or for the pastor or counselor to tell them exactly what to do. Telling them occasionally that you will not give them a rule or a command and expect them to follow orders strictly frustrates them. You may even be labeled as “unloving.” Sometimes, the person may be given principles and guidance with options, but that person must wrestle through the issue and make his own decisions.
When people are in trouble, they tend to revert to authoritarianism. It is simple. Follow the rules. Obey commands. Treat the world as an impersonal machine that operates by formulaic cause-and-effect. Expect everything to be fixed without time and work. People like authoritarianism at times because it alleviates personal responsibility. If I check everything off the list and “it doesn’t work,” it is your fault.
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