Counseling/Piety
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By In Church, Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Wisdom

The Spiritual Pastor

Within the life of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit has a special role. He creates and sustains bonds or relationships between people. He has been doing this forever. This is his activity in the life of the Trinity in eternity. He is the Spirit of God the Father (Gen 1.2; Rom 8.9, 14; 15.19) as well as the Spirit of the Son/Christ (Gal 4.6; Rom 8.9). The Spirit “belongs” to both the Father and the Son.

Our early church fathers described the Spirit as the “bond of love” between the Father and the Son. In the Trinitarian relationship described in terms of love, the Father is the Lover, the Son the Beloved, and the Spirit is the Bond of Love between them.

We understand his eternal ministry in the Trinity because we hear of his work with us. His work with us images his eternal ministry. He creates bonds between us and God as well as one another. This is why Paul says in Ephesians 4 that we are to “maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

The Spirit creates the bond with the body of Christ through baptism according to 1Corinthians 12.13: “For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body–Jews or Greeks, slaves or free–and all were made to drink of one Spirit.” The Spirit is the one who puts the body of Christ together; whether you are talking about the Person of Christ in the womb of Mary (Lk 1.35) or the body of Christ, the church (1Cor 12.11). The Spirit puts things and people in a relationship with one another.

The pastoral ministry is a Spiritual ministry. This does not mean that he has a “mystical ministry” over against dealing with the material aspects of the world. The pastor is a bond-maker. He brings people together, facilitating the creation of relationships.

The pastor/king introduced to us in Ecclesiastes is called qoheleth, normally translated as “Preacher.” But the word speaks about someone who gathers or is a convener. He brings both people and words together, and he creates bonds with people through his words. He creates bonds.

The pastoral ministry aims to reconcile God with man (2Cor 5.18-20). We exercise that ministry by gathering people for the preaching of the Word and administering the Sacraments. By the power of the Spirit, the Word is proclaimed, and people are united with Christ through baptism and the supper.

This Spiritual ministry doesn’t end there. As the Spirit creates relationships among the members of the body of Christ, joining each member to the other to work together as one body, so the pastor is given to the church to equip the saints for the work of the ministry so that each member works properly with other members for the body to build itself up in love (Eph 4.11-16).

At times this will mean that the pastor helps individuals work through personal and interpersonal relationship issues. He instructs members through the Scriptures on how to apply wisdom to their particular situation so as to restore and maintain the bond of peace.

Many of us pastors take it upon ourselves (whether through personal expectations or expectations imposed upon us by our congregations) that our calling is to be an expert in every area of dealing with issues; that if there is a problem in the church we must be the ones who personally “fix it.” However, this is where understanding our Spiritual ministry is extremely helpful. While dealing with issues in the church is our responsibility, dealing with the issue can take the form of helping the person make the right connections with other Christians who are better equipped to help them in particular areas. Just as a medical doctor who is a general practitioner may refer one of his patients to a specialist, so we soul doctors may need to do the same. The Spirit creates relationships with Christ and with one another, pointing to others. As pastors, we also point people to Christ and others who are better equipped to help.

Many of us pastors don’t like this for a number of reasons. Our lack of expertise in any area and not being able to fix each and every problem is viewed as weakness that will cause us to lose respect in the eyes of our people. They may believe that they no longer need us. Consequently, we try to become an expert in counseling, therapy, and/or other areas so that we can do everything ourselves. It’s job security. However, it is also a lack of love for God’s people. Though good intentions may be in there somewhere, there is a selfishness that cares more about my pride and my job than for the health and welfare of the people of God. Sometimes loving people means pointing them to others for help.

For us to fulfill our Spiritual ministry as pastors, we must be humble, recognizing our limitations. Some of us are better in certain areas than others. Each pastor comes with his own set of strengths and weaknesses. We can’t be experts in every area in which our people might need help. We may be general practitioners, knowing many of the basics so that we can help people with common problems, but we must recognize that there are specialists to whom we may need to refer our people. Connecting people with other people is not a dereliction of your duty. It is your Spiritual responsibility.

In order to connect our people with other Christians who may be able to help them better than we can, we need to get to know other people. These people may be within your own congregation. Get to know people and their skills so that you can make connections with others. This may also mean learning of resources outside of your church to which you can refer people who need help that you can’t give them.

Humility once again comes into play here. When you point people away from yourself and to Christ in other people, you will not receive the initial glory for fixing the problem. That’s okay. The Spirit was sent to glorify the Son (Jn 16.12-14). As we point to Christ in other people and help create those relationships, we are doing the Spirit’s work.

Pastor, you don’t have to know it all. You don’t have to do it all. You are not deficient as a pastor if you must point your people to others to find the help they need. You are doing the Spirit’s work.

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By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Men, Wisdom

Resisting Harlot Folly

Fighting sexual temptation has never been easy. There have been times in which societies such as ours helped by having and enforcing laws discouraging sexual deviancy. There were also general cultural mores that disparaged sexual immorality so great social shame was the lot of the sexually deviant. Temptations didn’t disappear, but cultural pressure at least encouraged restraint.

Studying history, you will see that these societies were few and far between. Our present Western culture is probably more in line with the way many cultures have treated sexual relations; that is, there are few cultural guards that help us with temptation. The lack of cultural sexual restraint that has ingrained itself over the past century or two combined with present-day technology has only increased temptations. I don’t think that we can say, “It is more difficult for us than it ever has been,” but the force of the battle is growing. None of this, of course, is an excuse for sexual sin. In fact, it is a call to arm ourselves all the more with the appropriate discipline to fight an enemy that is growing in strength. We must match our enemies’ strength with greater strength.

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By In Church, Counseling/Piety, Culture

Paul Tripp, Wokism, and Tri-Perspectivalism

I wish to offer just a couple of initial thoughts on the psychology of conversion towards woke and social justice ideologies. The task seems rather complex, and I do not wish to offer the final word but a mere word on a somewhat layered conversation. This is a primer’s worth of articulation on the subject.

This post stemmed from some questions raised by some fine people in my recent post on Paul Tripp. Some sent me private questions, and some others opined on the note. The gist is that several people expressed how much they have appreciated Paul Tripp’s work in the past and cannot understand how he could make such dramatic shifts culturally. They are wondering what causes such magnificent theological and cultural changes. For the record, I restate my level of appreciation for Tripp and his labors on a variety of counseling themes.

Nevertheless, trajectories are a real thing, and some prophets can see these things more accurately and astutely than I do. My own assessment is that these trends stem from a set of priorities.

Over the years, many of us have been completely shocked by movements among Reformed people who hold to the Catechisms, Confessions, and Creeds, but yet have sold their ideologies to the biggest woke bidders. I have detailed many of these over the years, but I want to offer just a brief summary as to why this manifestation is so evident in our day.

It is first and foremost essential to note that these movements happen slowly for most and are fast-paced for a few. These theological movements generally occur when perspectives begin to change in little things. Big changes occur through a thousand microscopic ones.

The classic example of this is the Republican political leader who makes remarkable speeches on the dangers of leftist sexual ethics and how modern attempts at distorting traditional marriage are dangerous. That healthy dogma begins to lose stamina when his son comes out as a homosexual. Suddenly, the strong assertions rooted in Genesis 1-2 begin to lose their vigor and eventually–as we have seen many times–that politician succumbs to social pressures and changes his view of sexual ethics affirming that homosexuality is something brave and bold and that we ought to listen more attentively to those in that community.

I argue that these changes are perspectival. If we break them down to existential (experiences), situational (cultural-historical), and normative (the authority of the Bible) we can arrive at a more accurate interpretive model for how these stalwarts move incrementally towards woke and BLM rhetoric.

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By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Wisdom

All Hat And No Cowboy

In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty.

~Proverbs 14.23

Originally, the cowboy hat was made to be functional for those who spent long days in the sun working cattle. The wide brim protected the head from the sun’s rays. Eventually, that rim was turned upward on the sides so that the swinging of a rope would not be impeded or knock the hat off. The pinch at the top of the hat made the hat easier to grip.

As with many articles of clothing, fashion followed function. People who have romantic visions about cowboy life, love country music, or like the style of headwear incorporate the cowboy hat into their wardrobe. The hat says “cowboy,” but they ain’t no cowboys. Real cowboys have a saying for this: “He’s all hat and no cowboy,” or “All hat, no cattle.” For all of you city slickers out there, this means that a person is all talk and no action.

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By In Counseling/Piety

How to Think Through our Anger Problem

It is ubiquitous in our lives whether we deal with a stubborn child or co-worker, traffic or burnt food, abortion or war. It is in our DNA to react to something, and that reaction we call anger. But anger is not just any normal reaction; “Anger is the way we react when something we think important is not the way it’s supposed to be.” The Bible is a response book to either man’s anger or God’s anger, and, stay with me here– there is no need for a coin toss to figure out who is righteous and who most often is not. God is infinitely righteous, and his anger is fleeting, but his favor lasts forever. So every time we look at the world, we should be grateful that God is spectacularly unfair: he does not deal with us according to our sins. He would crush us at the first sounds of our frustration and complaints about the weather if he did.

But God is merciful.

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By In Counseling/Piety

The Art of Complaining and Grumbling

We don’t struggle with the abstract things said in the pulpit; we struggle with their application. So, for example, if I say, “Language is a gift from God that ought to reshape our humanity,” you might respond, “Well, that’s beautiful, Pastor Brito. I am going to quote you on that,” but if I say, “Quit grumbling like a spoiled child,” then, you might say, “Well, that’s way too personal.”

Theology in big categories is necessary to form our application, but we will end our days at the “self-help” section of Barnes & Nobles when we apply without first doing theology. When we apply poorly, we end up with all sorts of weird notions of life—thinking that certain things are acceptable when the biblical reality says otherwise.

The wilderness provided Israel many opportunities to test God’s applications of his law. And inevitably, when God said that he would do something out of the ordinary, what do the people do:

You grumbled in your tents and said, “The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us. Where can we go? Our brothers have made us lose heart. They say, ‘The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky.”

In that same passage in Deuteronomy, grumbling is dealt with harshly; it is viewed as distrust in Yahweh to the point where God disallows Israel to enter the land. So, grumbling is not a little thing. Luke says that it’s out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks. The Bible dissects our problems with a lot of clarity when it comes to grumbling, but our functional response is to say, “My children made me angry, and then my car, my cat, my boss, the Democrats, my spouse, my remote control, or whatever else made me angry.” However you parse that out you still have to deal with grumbling in the Bible which is unmistakably a condition of the heart.

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By In Counseling/Piety, Culture

The Uncomfortable Gospel of Elimelech

In God in the Dock, C.S. Lewis’ wrote that he didn’t come to Christianity for its comfort. Instead, he said that a bottle of Port could give him all the happiness and comfort he needed.

I have been thinking of this sentiment in our modern environment. We have lost the sense that the Christian faith is not a religion of comfort and ease but warfare is inherent to our religious convictions. We fight for things because they are needful and because they are worthy of being rescued. When the people of God leave the presence of God in exchange for comfort, they inherit all sorts of bad jujus. In the Bible, it is always a bad thing to leave the good thing.

When Elimelech left Bethlehem in the Book of Ruth,a he left not just a piece of land. He wasn’t attempting to find a better marketplace in Moab. Moab was a place of deep darkness and idolatry. This wasn’t merely an attempt to take the UHAUL down to a better place; instead, Elimelech left God’s presence and God’s people because things were hard. And when things get hard, evangelical Christians decide either a) let’s leave town, or b) let’s find a gentler God.

Now, I am not calling Elimelech a silly man. His very name means “God is King.” He failed to live up to his status as one who serves Israel’s true King. Surely, Naomi was not a foolish wife, either. But sometimes, our human natures choose the easier thing, especially as we look around the world and see so much pain and suffering. It wasn’t that Elimelech said, “Wow, we are being disobedient; how can we fight this problem in Bethlehem?!” The problem was that Elimelech said, “We are being disobedient; how can we run from this?” Like Jonah, he discovered there was no place he could go where his sins wouldn’t follow.

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  1. Some have objected that Elimelech’s departure was not sinful since it mirrors the departure of others in the Bible. A more potent objection goes like this: “Abraham left the land of promise during the time of famine and Jacob did so as well. Why can’t we say Elimelech is just copying the actions of the patriarchs? Isn’t Elimelech just recapitulating the actions of Abraham and Jacob? There seems to be no divine disapproval of the actions of Abraham and Jacob.” But this argument fails to deal with key differences between the situation of the patriarchs and the situation of Elimelech. While the land was promised to Abraham, the land had not yet been conquered when Abraham and Jacob left because of famine. Abraham does not dwell in the land as a permanent resident. He knew he was just a sojourner. And it is the same with Jacob. Both men knew it would be centuries and generations before their descendants came into full possession of the land. The sins of the Canaanites had to fill up to the full measure, and then they would be driven out of the land. Their land would belong to Israel for as long as she was faithful. But that has not yet happened in the time of Abraham and Jacob. They left before the conquest of the land and before God has set his name there. So, for the patriarchs to leave the land does not carry the same significance as when Elimelech leaves the land. But there is something else to note with regard to Abraham. In Genesis 12-13, it is true that Abraham leaves the land because of famine. But he is not blessed until he begins to turn back to the land. Then he leaves Egypt with spoil. It is as if Abraham’s departure from the land was a kind of exile. But when he turns back towards the land, it is an exodus complete with plunder from the Egyptians.  (back)

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By In Counseling/Piety

The Abuse of Introspection: Some Thoughts

Some people dwell so much on their sinfulness that they find themselves constantly bombarding their status before God with doubt. Am I really a Christian? Am I worthy? These questions are not atypical of those who grow up in environments where internalized Christianity is emphasized. There is a healthy form of self-examination and Paul informs Pastors (II Corinthians 13:5) to encourage parishioners to examine themselves. At the same time, there is a difference between self-examination and introspection that is not often considered.

It is worth mentioning that God cares about our hearts. Out of it can flow the waters of destruction or waters of peace (Ps. 42). The repentant psalmist cries for God to create in him a clean heart and that God would restore the joy of his salvation. Here again, it is important to notice that this salvation has a face, a joyful one.

Martyn-Lloyd Jones wrote that a depressed Christian is not a good apologetic for Christianity. Whether there are physiological components at the root of this depression or not, it is still not a good presentation of the Christian faith. Depression–which must be differentiated from other forms of mental effects– is a form of despising God’s gifts and goodness. All of us are prone to it, and all of us must fight it. Schmemann once wrote that “Of all accusations against Christians, the most terrible one was uttered by Nietzsche when he said that Christians had no joy.” Joy often is not forced, though many have to work hard at it. But most often, it is the natural outflow of a heart saturated with grace.

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By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Wisdom

How Do I Forgive? (Part 2)

Forgiveness is a craft; a skill that requires different tools for various situations and time to become facile with those tools. Developing your skills requires that you learn how and when to use what tools. There are three fundamental skills in the craft of forgiveness that every craftsman needs. As you practice the fundamentals over and over, even as situations become more complex, you will have the facility to apply the right skills at the proper time.

First, there is the skill of cover up: forgiving by overlooking. Proverbs 19.11 says, “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, And his glory is to overlook a transgression.” Overlooking here means that he passes over it, not making an issue of it, and refusing to hold bitterness. Not every sin can be overlooked. You must discern if the sin or offense needs to be addressed. Ken Sande in The Peacemaker gives good questions to help you discern whether or not overlooking is appropriate. “Is the offense dishonoring to God, affecting this person’s witness and the name of Christ? Is it damaging to the relationship? Is it hurting others? It is hurting the offender?”

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By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

How Do I Forgive? (Part 1)

Unforgiven sin is a death sentence for a relationship. We were created to be in relationships that grow in glory, moving through changes–death–into new and deeper joys–resurrection. Living with unforgiveness is death that spirals downwards into greater death. To enjoy the abundant life that Jesus promised, we must image him in living lives of forgiveness with one another.

But how do we forgive one another? What does forgiveness look like? In this article and the next, I will address these questions.

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