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On September 5, 2020 By In Culture, Discipleship, Family and Children

The Heaven of Hospitality, Part 1

Many years ago, shortly after we were married, we decided to invest in this hospitality business. We had heard the tapes, knew our biblical imperatives and happened to come across some really dangerous authors who told us that hospitality was not an option. I regret ever having served my neighbor with food and laughter…said no one ever!

I remember inviting over a fairly wealthy family. The father was a gentle soul, who was very successful in his labors. They accepted our invitation and when we returned home from church to get everything ready it dawned on us that our table could only fit four people, but they were a family of 6. Our apartment was a little over 700 square feet and we only had four chairs. After some deliberation, we made the decision to sit on the floor and eat, to which they happily agreed. I remember being slightly embarrassed, but any concerns went away when we started eating and laughing. It was one of the most memorable Sundays in my life!

Here is the truth, as black as Amazonian coffee: those who do not practice hospitality fail to taste the goodness of God. It’s plain and simple. When Paul said, “do hospitality” (διώκοντες (Rom. 12:13; root word engages the concept of “persecution;” think of happily persecuting hospitality), he said that we are to be zealous for this gift. For Paul, and for so many other biblical authors, hospitality was a visible demonstration of our baptism into Christ. Christ hosts us in his body and we host others in our abode.

We shall deal with practicalities throughout, but we must begin this conversation with an important principle found in Solomon. Proverbs 15:17 says: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.”

The Bible uses the image of a “fattened ox” because it represents the finest foods available.The contrast is significant in this text because love is to be preferred over the best foods. Abundance and hatred do not go hand in hand. Abundance and hatred produce an un-godly environment–an environment where people do not want to be. Wealth and hatred only lead to disaster, but wealth of love is the secret ingredient to hospitality.

In one of my favorite Johnny Cash songs he writes:
It’s not the barley or the wheat
It’s not the oven or the heat
That makes this bread so good to eat
It’s the needing and the sharing that makes the meal complete.

What makes a meal complete is the sense of sharing and passing and needing oneness in the context of a table, even if that table comes from the meager earnings of a college student or a widow. There, in that moment, when we are joined, something mystical is taking place: we are imitating a table of kings and queens. Whether with herbs or the finest meal, the very presence of image-bearers partaking of food and drink form a sacred bond that affirms our love for God and one another.

And for this entire thing to run as good as a hot cup of ramen noodles in a cold college dorm, we need the recipe of love. We don’t need abundance, we need only a few grateful saints around a table sharing stories and affirming the humanity of one another; for where two or three are gathered around a table, God is in their midst.

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On September 3, 2020 By In Discipleship, Family and Children, Men

Letters To Young Men: Determining & Developing Your Mission

Young Men,

I kind of left you hanging a bit with my last letter. I told you that you need to have a mission and that any woman you bring into your life needs to be willing to help you in your mission, revolving her life around yours. I didn’t tell you, however, how to determine and develop your mission. This letter will get you started with that.

The general structure of your mission is determined for you. You are created in the image of God and, therefore, share his characteristics. Being God’s image is a fixed as well as an active, growing reality. That is, you are God’s image in the very nature of being human. God reveals himself in us as humans in the way we think, speak, see, feel, rule, create, relate, and many other ways. We have these characteristics because they image God’s own being. These are characteristics of all humans because all humans are God’s image.

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On August 30, 2020 By In Discipleship, Theology

Vindicated!

In the parables of the persistent widow and the Pharisee and tax collector in Luke 18, there is a common desire for justification. The widow desires justice. She has an adversary who is oppressing her, and she desires that this unjust judge set things right by declaring her to be in the right, her adversary to be in the wrong, and granting her what she is asking for.

The Pharisee and tax collector both go to appear before God’s throne, the judgment seat, at the temple. Each is calling upon God to render a judgment of vindication or justification. The Pharisee believes that judgment should be rendered based on his good works apart from the mercy of God. The tax collector desires God to rule in his favor based upon the provision of merciful propitiation. Both desire to be declared to be in the right, to be justified. Only the tax collector is, but Jesus’ words infer that this is the aim of the Pharisee as well.

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On August 28, 2020 By In Discipleship, Family and Children

The Case for Keeping Children in Worship, Part 5

Introduction, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

What I have discovered as a father of five children under the age of 12 is that children have an enormous capacity for repetition. My little 2-year old would have us read him the same book seventy times seven. Chesterton opined about this when he wrote that “Children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, “Do it again”; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead.” I have nearly died many times, and my sweet wife is on her third resurrection.

Children like to do things again which means that for churches to invest in them, a congregational liturgy needs to keep in mind the repetitive nature of the faith. Israel’s history teaches us that repetitive faith passed down to our children and our children’s children (Deut. 6).

Our children are not in need of novelty; they are not in need for more entertainment, they are in need of a substantive faith that pushes them further in their stories. It is okay for a 2 year-old to be singing “Holy, Holy, Holy” because God is holy and that child needs to sing truth even if he does not grasp the majestic purity of God’s wonder and grace. But again, do any of us truly grasp it?

When I hear a little one singing along to “Holy, Holy, Holy,” I am experiencing as a pastor and the same for parishioners, something sublime. Out of the mouth of babes and infants (Ps. 8), that child is declaring the deep praises of God. Why should he only need to express minimal truths outside the assembly and why should the assembly of grown-ups have that luxury alone? What makes the older disciples any more capable of expressing praises to God than the little ones? After all, Jesus rebuked his own disciples for operating on that basis (Mat. 18-19).

The third argument often used against the keeping of children in worship is that we need a more specific didactic focus for our children. In essence, keeping kids in worship with parents is a waste of time since they will get nothing out of it. “They are, after all, children, and lack the capacity to grasp the language of a worship service.” Therefore, there is a need for a more child-appropriate classroom setting. This is likely the more common argument and one based on concern for the learning process of children.

I will stress once again what has been stated before. The worship service is not a classroom; it is an experience in God’s story that runs through the Gospel narrative. Any worship service that reserves the Gospel story only for the sermon is missing the opportunity to accentuate God’s proclamation throughout. This leads to another common problem: we have often made the worship service into a competition in note-taking. However important the task of taking notes may be (and it can be helpful, especially for older kids), we need to be cautious not to equate taking notes or listening to a sermon as the worship service itself. I am all in favor of Christian education classes before or after worship where more in-depth training can take place, but here we are talking about the mandated act of worshiping which is not an act of mind only, but soul and body.

If worship becomes a classroom, it’s not wonder that we have allergic reactions to the idea that children should sit with us from beginning to end. The little children I know quickly embrace the repetitive nature of the Gloria Patri or the Doxology or the Sanctus or the Three-Fold Amen or throw in another other aspect of church rhythms. They don’t complain, but they will often say, “Do it again!” It is true that the difficulties increase if you are part of a congregation where the structure of worship changes from week to week, but it can be done because in every service there are repetitive elements; and those can be stressed and memorized easily.

The concern for instruction at the level of little children is only a concern if one views worship as secondary to the shaping of our children’s minds. But God has said again and again that worship is formational and there is no greater formative time in the life of a human than when he is small. We want our habits formed by rituals/habits no matter how complex initially, and the worship service provides not just ordinary rituals/habits, but holy formative acts that change and mold us into a better humanity in Jesus Christ and our children should partake of this joy with us

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On August 19, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Culture, Discipleship, Men, Wisdom

Letters To Young Men: The Man & His Mission

Dear Young Man,

In my first letter, I talked to you about the state of masculinity in our culture; what you are facing and will have to face in the future. It’s bad out there, and you face many challenges. However, as we will see as we proceed through these letters, challenges should be right up your alley. The purpose of these letters is not merely to curse the darkness, but to give you light by which to walk as men. Consequently, in this second letter, I begin focusing positively on what it means to be a man.

First and foremost, man is created a worshiper. As the image of God, man is created to reflect and participate in the family life of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are to join in the family conversation—prayer—talking to one another about needs, praising one another for good works, asking for forgiveness where we have sinned (us, not God, of course), eating with one another (the Supper), talking about the situations in our families, churches, nations, and the world, and suggesting things that might be done about it. We are to listen to our God, the one who created us, redeemed us, and defines who we are and what we are to do in this world. We are to respond in allegiance to him, loving him with all of our being and joyfully obeying what he commands. You are created, first and foremost, as a worshiper.

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On August 18, 2020 By In Church, Discipleship

The Case for Keeping Children in Worship, Part 2

Introduction

Part 1

The goal of this discussion is to foster conversation on a topic that is too neglected in evangelical churches. And speaking of evangelicals, I am one of those who proudly affirm the “evangel” and if the “icals” were a team I’d cheer them on as well. So, I am trying to speak from a place of wild familiarity.

I also don’t want to shame anyone into keeping their kids through the whole service when they haven’t thought carefully about it and are simply acting out of guilt. Guilt-based decisions have the durability of an ice cream cone left out in the Florida sun. Making decisions that are not common in various congregations (and in this case the majority) need to be done discerningly. One of my answers to people about children and schooling and other related subjects is that I love my children much more than your ideal scenario. In other words, if a Church practices something that I am not comfortable with regarding my children, my children will always take precedence over the Church’s ideals.

So, if a Church has a suggested policy (if such policies are mandated we have a whole other problem) that children go to children’s church during “adult” worship” and you decide that it is best that your children stay, and you do it peacefully without causing a scene, the leaders of the church should understand. And if they get into a habit of making ugly faces at you every Sunday and sending you dissertations about how your child is only holy if he/she goes to that children’s church down the hall, then it may be time for you to have a more serious conversation as a family about how a) to continue dealing gracefully with such an uncomfortable situation, or b) how to properly inform the leaders that what they are doing is not kosher and needs to stop, or c) begin to discuss how to graciously and honorably leave that body.

So, it should be clear that this is not an attempt at revolution or causing havoc in a local congregation. What I am trying to do is to bring to your attention a different way to view children whether in the local Baptist or Presbyterian or “insert cool name” Church.

First Argument Against Children in Church

One of the more common arguments made against keeping children in Church–from beginning to end—is: “I can’t keep my children quiet during worship, therefore I don’t see the need to keep them with me.” The argument posits that the demands of disciplining and watching over little ones during the worship service ultimately does not bear any benefits.

This is a legitimate concern. You are in Church to worship on the Lord’s Day and the last thing you want is to add additional tasks to your time. After all, weren’t you just in the process of changing a diaper, disciplining, correcting, breaking up a fight right before Church? Why bring that whole business into the house of the Lord?

The first response is that there is no place you can go where some level of authority structure is not set into place. If you walk into the local Wal-Mart with your little one (s), you are still expected to navigate difficult scenarios. In other words, you cannot escape your authority. Whether a dad or mom, your authority needs to be exercised–always preferably lovingly–at all times and in all places. The nurture and admonition of the Lord does not take a Sabbath on the Sabbath (Lord’s Day), rather it should be accentuated.

There are two things that matter to the Christian: a) the worship of the Triune God, b) and how that worship fleshes itself out during the week.The worship of God most powerfully manifested on the Lord’s Day proves to be the most sober opportunity you will have to train your little ones (we will discuss some practical steps down the line). Of course, you could let Sister Sally watch your little ones during Church, and I am certain she will be saying some nice things and even instructing your child well, but Sister Sally does not speak as an ordained minister, Sister Sally cannot speak on behalf of the Church, Sister Sally cannot do for your children what you can do, because while Sister Sally may have a general love for your child, only you (dad and mom) know the needs, understand the hearts, and see the week after week struggles of your child to properly train your child.

Remember, worship is not the academy, it’s not a classroom, it’s a living experience of the Triune God in a sacred space taking place by the power of the Spirit in the heavenly places (Eph. 2:6). Read that sentence three more times.

Yes, your child will struggle to stay quiet and he/she will be distracting; and yes, it will demand a little more of you each Sunday. And, you may miss that really great hymn/song while you are changing a diaper or Johnny throws a fit over something. But I can guarantee you that the more you do it the more you will begin to see little victories and with each little victory you will discover that the joys of corporate worship are always more filling when you are together with your little ones during the worship of heaven. Like any glorious thing, the benefits come when you persevere in this holy task.

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On August 4, 2020 By In Discipleship

On the Fruit of Long Conversations

One of the blessings I’ve had over the years is to speak freely about a host of issues that few pastors wish to discuss on social media, unless, of course, they take upon themselves anonymous identities. I am part of a denomination that rarely if ever makes the map when it comes to national discourse. Our pastors are not well known; with few exceptions, they don’t make headlines, and when we do, it’s to engage in intramural discussions that 0.001% of evangelicals care to ponder.

I actually find this lack of exposure fairly comforting. It means that I, as a pastor of a small congregation, have the luxury of opining about a host of topics I find to be biblically important, culturally necessary, and pastorally expedient without distractions. This allows me to minister to a small group of people (maybe less than 1,000 views a day) that are interested in growth and find argument built in lengthy paragraphs compelling.

In some ways, my goal of writing has always been to slowly, but surely, convince my readers that building frameworks for life are important and thinking through current issues or rituals through a Christian perspective is crucial for the well-being of any society. I am still a believer in long-form conversation and dialogue about the good, true and beautiful, and I view it as an investment in the kingdom of God.

I had a lengthy interview/conversation with a really fine thinker yesterday that reminded me of the necessity of building men and women who love Jesus and are curious enough to create environments where healthy engagement takes place in the home and in the community; where discourse is not settled by throwing out slogans, but where the heart of the slogan is discussed and perhaps torn down. While we see some movement in the right direction, we need much more. I am reminded of one of Jordan Peterson’s rules which I translate as “Don’t raise children with whom you won’t converse.” In other words, don’t raise children that will bore you when they get older. You diminish that possibility if everything is on the table for discussion at the dinner table.

The biggest frustration of this entire season is that prior to it there was already a deficit in these conversations, and through it, many discovered that they don’t need it any more, thus isolating themselves with greater vigor and enthusiasm. The natural isolating process diminished even more the capacity for discussing complex topics. Movements are throwing out their acronyms and demanding loyalty simply because they espouse some pro-victim cause. The idea behind it is that the conversation is over; embrace or die.

In Jane Austen’s “Persuasion,” there is a lovely little section where she writes,

“My idea of good company…is the company of clever, well-informed people, who have a great deal of conversation; that is what I call good company.”

Whether dialogues on parenting, sleeping techniques for infants, the ethic of ants, the making of good wine, or Russian dancing techniques of the 18th century, all these things stem from a God who enters steadily into conversation with his people. So, whether 50 or 500 likes, or a 1,000 lurkers, or 1 fruitful exchange happens as a result of anything you or I write or say, we are already beneficiaries of the entire process. Keep the feast! Keep the company! Keep the conversation alive!

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On August 2, 2020 By In Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Hell?

Hell is like that bit of family history that the whole family knows about but tries to avoid in polite conversation. The only family member who talks about it is the crazy uncle who has no couth. Some family members do their best to deny that piece of the family story altogether. We can focus on the pleasant things and not deal with that nasty bit.

But it just will not do. That part of the family story turns up time and again. It simply cannot be buried.

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On July 5, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Family and Children

Count The Cost

We are rapidly approaching the intense campaign season. (It seems that we never leave campaign season anymore. We only have less and more intense seasons of it.) Big elections will be happening soon. Debates will occur and stump speeches will be given. Each candidate will be telling you why he or she should be elected (or at least why the other guy should not be).

Most of these candidates will be telling you all that they are going to do for you. One side is going to give you all this free stuff. The other side is going to reduce your taxes. Everyone is concerned about sweetening the pot to entice you to sign on with his agenda.

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