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On November 27, 2019 By In Family and Children

Disagreeing and Engaging during Thanksgiving

The New York Times ran an opinion piece recently about the chaos that is sure to come in Thanksgiving tables around America. The writer observed that since the Trump victory in 2016, the nation has become more polarized than ever before (surely a naive assessment of history; as of yet, I have not beheaded anyone nor am I aware of recent beheadings due to disagreements; see Vikings and history in general).

I will have little disagreement with my family this Thanksgiving. We all share a basic sense of morality, a biblical imperative to love one another, and a host of experiences that validate our perspectives. Still, our ideas and experiences are unique to us; shaped by our academic or sociological backgrounds so that even in agreeable environments healthy debates can take place and new knowledge can be gained.

In some families, however, there will be radical differences on issues ranging from child-rearing to the role of government in society. Dr. Karin Tamerius observes that this process does not have to ruin Thanksgiving for everyone. You can actually learn how to have a productive conversation with someone with whom you disagree. Tamerius says the following are good starting points:

1. Ask open-ended, genuinely curious, nonjudgmental questions.

2. Listen to what people you disagree with say and deepen your understanding with follow-up inquiries.

3. Reflect back their perspective by summarizing their answers and noting underlying emotions.

4. Agree before disagreeing by naming ways in which you agree with their point of view.

5. Share your perspective by telling a story about a personal experience.

I would alter the fifth step by affirming your starting point and presupposition. While the personal narrative can be effective it ought not to replace the authority structure you follow in building your ethical standards. Of course, stating your authority (in my case, the biblical norm) will likely lead to further conversations about what makes one authority superior to another.

The principle here is: Don’t waste an exchange of ideas. Make Thanksgiving great again by engaging rightly and respectfully.

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On September 23, 2019 By In Family and Children, Theology

Baptism: Overwhelmed by the Waters

Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck.I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God. (Ps. 69:1-3)

Prayer: Almighty God, who formed the earth out of water and through water by your word, who saved Noah and his family through water while destroying the wicked, who delivered your people Israel through the Sea while defeating Pharaoh and his armies, all of which are types of baptism into Christ Jesus, we pray that you will look mercifully upon Elaine, saving her with your people while destroying sin and death. May she, throughout her life, relying upon the grace you give to her this day, continue to mortify sin so that at the last day she may participate in the resurrection of the just and reign with Christ Jesus eternally. Amen

Since the earliest days of our existence after our fall into sin, water has been a threat to the creation in general and the people of God in particular. The world, as Peter clearly says, was created out of water and through water by the word of God (2Pt 3.5). Land emerged on the third day of creation from the formless mass of water hanging in space. When the wickedness of the world increased to the point that God chose to destroy it, God brought the primal waters back over the earth. The waters of the Red Sea threatened the children of Israel as the Egyptians pressed them from behind. The Psalmist, as we heard, describes being overwhelmed by enemies as being in deep waters and flood sweeping over him.

To be overwhelmed by water is to be destroyed; it is to be de-created, to go down into death. Every baptism, whether in the Old Covenant or now in the New, is not only to be threatened by water, but to welcome it and to be overcome by it. The waters of baptism destroy the old creation that is in Adam.

Today, Elaine Marsh is dying. The water will be poured over her head and destroy her. Death is what we deserve. Death is our destiny. To welcome this water would be sadistic and terrifying if it weren’t for the fact that she, like all of us, enter into the flood with Christ Jesus. We are buried with Christ in baptism into death. Those waters that overwhelm us and drag our old creation bodies down to destruction have first overwhelmed Christ Jesus himself. Because he has been overwhelmed by the waters and risen victorious, we welcome the waters of death so that dying with him we may also be raised with him to new life. Jesus has made the place of destruction and death the place of hope and joy, for today we rejoice in the baptism of Elaine, celebrating the destruction of the old world in Adam and being raised to the new creation in Christ.

Rob and Tara along with their other children have already passed through these waters. God has destroyed their entire family so that it might be raised to new life. This death and resurrection, this re-creation of your family, Rob and Tara, is a privilege that entails a calling. Your calling is to not let sin reign in your baptized mortal bodies and to train your children so that they will do the same. You are to yield your bodily members as instruments of righteousness to God and not to sin and to teach your children to do the same. The grace of God given to us in baptism enables us to walk in this new creation life.

Rob and Tara, continue to walk faithfully and train your children to do the same. Continue to put to death the sinful deeds of the body and yield your bodies to righteousness. Your baptism into Christ calls you to this.

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On September 3, 2019 By In Family and Children

The Marital Cup

Guest Post by Elizabeth Barros

Guest Spot By Elizabeth de Barros

Like handblown glass, delicate in construction but strong in substance, the marriage covenant is a cup that holds the vintage of years gone by, blessed and preserved by God.

While love is as strong as death, marriage is fragile if only for the fact that two fallen people, a man and a woman brought together as one, commit to an exclusive bond for the rest of their days, come what may. Knowing that a covenant designed by God has His backing brings much-needed assurance.

But no marriage is unlike the first, where the culprit of sin creeps in to take its toll. The effects of Adam and Eve’s fall were felt at close range — firstborn son murdered the second-born, with God presiding as Witness and Judge. I imagine that as parents, partners, and lovers, they fell into each other’s arms that night searching for consolation from an unbearable wound, aware that bitter herbs change the taste of things.

What keeps a marriage? Sustains it through life’s cares, trials, disappointments, and woes? Certainly not the froth left over from an elaborate wedding day. As exciting and wonderful the fanfare, formal attire, rich foods, lavish gifts, and honeymoon can be, eventually, helium dissipates, styles change, china breaks and pictures fade. Something stronger is needed when storm clouds gather.

Apart from inviting family and friends to witness the ceremony and share in the festivities, what compels a man and a woman to stand before a crowd and declare that they will promise to stay together “…to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”?

The nearness of God.

But our culture trends toward having the greater focus be on the wedding event — the more outlandish the better — a raucous party with all the trappings. Whether the bride and groom are suspended from bungee cords, or the ceremony is staged in the Nairobi desert or videotaped underwater, it’s all but forgotten that when vows are exchanged, God is the unseen Officiate. Even Christians need reminding of this. In a day when selfishness and “freedom of choice” permeates our thinking on every level, we’re not immune to being lured away, abandoning all reason for the sake of pleasure and the pursuit of happiness.

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On July 21, 2019 By In Family and Children, Theology, Worship

A Baptism Exhortation

But why do you call Me `Lord, Lord,’ and do not do the things which I say? “Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: “He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. “But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great. (Luke 6.43-49)

Prayer: Almighty God, who formed the earth out of water and through water by your word, who saved Noah and his family through water while destroying the wicked, who delivered your people Israel through the Sea while defeating Pharaoh and his armies, all of which are types of baptism into Christ Jesus, we pray that you will look mercifully upon Diana, saving her with your people while destroying sin and death. May she, throughout her life, relying upon the grace you give to her this day, continue to mortify sin so that at the last day she may participate in the resurrection of the just and reign with Christ Jesus eternally. Amen

At the end of what is commonly called “the Sermon on the Plain,” Jesus speaks a parable to the great crowd of disciples. This parable is a contrast between two different people. These people aren’t different in what they hear or in the fact that they will face floods in their lives. Both hear, and both will be assaulted by floods. The only difference between these two people is what they do with the words of Jesus. One person lives according to Jesus’ words, and the other one doesn’t.

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On June 29, 2019 By In Counseling/Piety, Family and Children, Men, Politics, Wisdom

Defy the Culture: Get Married

As you look around at the cultural confusion, you might be wondering how to get involved. Where do you start with the kind of mess that is all around us? I have a simple suggestion: get married. And then throw a really big party to celebrate. You might even consider inviting the whole town. I am not being flippant here. This is a serious recommendation and it is a key tactical move in attacking the enemies of darkness. Nothing causes greater consternation in the foe than a godly wedding celebration and a godly marriage.

Over the month of June, the Rainbow Mafia has been inundating us with their brainwashing techniques. And they have been laying it on thick. Business after business has been running Gaystapo ads. And they are super cheesy too. Given this ploy, it is wonderfully defiant to celebrate a Christian wedding.

In this age of sexual perverts, a Christian wedding ceremony is a fantastic grenade to lob at our culture. This kind of grenade accomplishes two things: first, it destroys the folly of the world and second, it exalts the beautiful reality. This is a wonderful way to attack the evil around us. It is a one-two punch that is incredibly winsome. At a Christian wedding, we hear clearly and profoundly the truth of the world: God made us male and female and it is good. He made Adam and Eve for each other. Jesus proclaimed this as Christian marriage in the gospels. This is the reality of the world. All the other perversions are fakes. And those other relationships are ugly and harmful. We get the chance to stand against those errors when we celebrate a Christian wedding.

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On June 17, 2019 By In Family and Children, Worship

Summer Vacation and the Necessity of Worship

As summer heats upon us, many of us will be vacationing all over the country. As a pastor, I have noticed that church members generally don’t think much about the role the summer season has on us as Christians. I am particularly troubled by Christians who treat vacation as not only a break from work but also a break from Church. To some, if vacation happens to involve a Sunday then so be it. It becomes the ideal day to travel to your favorite summer destination. After all, you are not missing work; you are only missing Church.

Hebrews does not treat this subject lightly. a  The author forbids the non-assembling of ourselves. He treats it as a kind of schism; division. Hebrews calls us not to forsake the gathering. The angels and archangels engage in heavenly worship day and night, and we are invited to join in this duty of worship each time we are gathered together on the Lord’s Day. After all, God has made us one.

Vacation is no substitute for worship. Missing the Lord’s Day gathering on vacation for any trivial reason is to mock the tearing of the veil, which gave us access to the heavenly throne of grace. It belittles the work of Christ who conquered our divisions and united us to Himself.

With that in view, here are a few things I recommend for those going on vacation this summer:

First, avoid falling into the trap that a few good Christians gathered at a camp or a resort constitute the Church on Sunday. You may enjoy Christian fellowship, be challenged by an exhortation, but this does not constitute heavenly worship. It may be simply a Bible study, but worship is not a Bible study; it is the very entrance of God’s people into the heavenly places through the work of the Spirit.

Second, before going on vacation google churches near the area. If you are not able to find a church that resembles yours, look to explore a bit outside your tradition. Learn to love the universal church. Find an evangelical congregation that loves the Bible.

Third, avoid making Sunday morning plans. Let your family–especially those who are not Christians traveling with you–know that Sunday worship is non-negotiable. If they are nominal Christians or unbelievers, let them know beforehand that their Sunday morning plans will not include your family. b There is no need to theologize about these issues with other family members or feel you have to offer a treatise on the matter (since it may lead to unnecessary arguing). Let them know if they insist, that this is a commitment you made as a family long ago.

Finally, when visiting other churches, teach your children (and yourself) to avoid criticizing the Church’s practices that differ from your own. Use this time to explain to the little ones about the beauty of the universal church.

The Lord’s Day is a day of rest. It is the feast God has prepared for you. Under normal circumstances,c there is no other place for you to be.

  1. Calvin reviews the nature of coming together that naturally ensued when the walls of partition were broken down: “It is an evil which prevails everywhere among mankind, that every one sets himself above others, and especially that those who seem in anything to excel cannot well endure their inferiors to be on an equality with themselves. And then there is so much morosity almost in all, that individuals would gladly make churches for themselves if they could; for they find it so difficult to accommodate themselves to the ways and habits of others.  (back)
  2. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord  (back)
  3. Of course, there are too many obvious reasons to not be in church like sickness, childbirth, and emergencies of every kind, though I argue that these are rarely the reason people do not come to church during vacation  (back)

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On April 27, 2019 By In Family and Children

On Sunday Sports

Greetings, Dad,

I wanted to write you one more short letter. This one may sting a bit, but you need to hear it. In 1981, a movie called Chariots of Fire directed by Hugh Hudson told the story of Eric Liddell. Eric was a Scottish Olympic Gold Medalist runner. Eric refused to run in a heat held on Sunday. He lost certain privileges. But you see, Eric was a Sabbatarian. He preferred to honor the Lord’s Day instead of the glory of a gold medal. You may disagree vehemently, but at least you can give the man credit for standing up to his convictions on the fourth commandment.


I am not writing to persuade you of Sabbatarianism. There are various shades of it, and some strike me as too strict. But I do wish to convince you that when your children go on travel teams on Sunday, and you conveniently miss the worship of God’s people because of baseball or soccer season, you are violating the clear mandate of the Apostle in Hebrews 10:25. I know for a fact that your motives are pure. You want to spend more time with your son, but I have seen these scenarios played out again and again. Your children will not be better Christians because they spend more time with you. Your children will grow in their Christian walk because they worship the living God.


It will probably be a hard conversation to have, but as the summer approaches, I would make a definitive decision to forbid sports’ activities that would force you and your son to miss the corporate worship. You see, dear brother, families are not built in a baseball field; they are built in the field of the Lord. I know this is hard, but I am grateful to you for listening to my concerns. I hope we can have a few more conversations.

Your truly, Pastor Brito

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On March 20, 2019 By In Family and Children, Scribblings

Lenten Journey, Day 13; Lenting by Walking

Psalm 26:1: “Vindicate me, O LORD, for I have walked in my integrity…”

There is a phrase I learned recently in Latin, “Solvitur Ambulando,” which means “It is solved by walking.” While we run our lives sitting in front of a screen, Lent is a season to slow our pace and think more deeply about our problems; by walking? Why not?

It is worth reflecting that “sitting” in the Psalms are almost always associated with evil practices (see Ps. 26:5). Whereas, walking is generally associated with righteousness (see Ps. 26:3). Some of the writers we most cherish like C.S. Lewis and Tolkien were men who treasured their daily walks. The Dessert Fathers emphasized walking and meditating. Apart from the physical benefits, it also allows us to contemplate creation, to meditate on our lives, to think through our day, etc. 

Lent can provide us opportunities for greater reflection. Perhaps a walk with your family, or even a solitary walk to remember the journey of Jesus to the cross. Lent is a walk of faith. Perhaps we can begin practicing that faith by literally walking.

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On March 19, 2019 By In Books, Family and Children

Call me…

“Call me Ishmael.” This opening line, one of the most famous in literature, is actually a rather strange turn of phrase, considering that Ishmael appears to be the narrator’s real name.  In normal speech, we don’t say “Call me ____.” Instead, we say, “My name is ____.” We only ask people to call us a certain way when our given name does not match what we want to be called.  Imagine a college student introducing herself at orientation saying, “My name’s Elizabeth, but call me Liz” when her parents and everyone else who knew her up to that point called her “Beth.” Assuming she’s successful in getting her friends to call her Liz, what has she done? Is it a momentous change, or fairly trivial? What if she chose a completely different name for her new friends to call her, like, “Brittany?”  Is that different? In short, what are we doing when we try to change our names? I submit that we are attempting to play God.

            God is the supreme “namer.”  He named day and night (1:5), Heaven (1:8), Earth and Seas (1:9), and he named Man (1:26).  From the beginning, mankind names creation as an act of dominion and image-bearing.  Adam named the animals that God brought to him, and those were their names. (1:19-20).  In the act of naming the animals God brought to him, Adam became wiser to their nature.  He became aware that there was not a helper fit for him among them.  In Adam’s most significant act of naming, he named the woman that God had formed from his ribs.  In doing so, he also penned the first poem, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” (2:23).

            A careful reading of scripture, especially the book of Genesis, reveals that names are vastly important.  Names reveal covenant significance as well as character.   In some cases, a person arrives on the scene with a name that already says something about their character.  For example, James Jordan has pointed out that Rebecca’s name is a pun with the Hebrew word for “myriads.”  She was providentially named that before any human thought that she would be part of the covenant line.  In other cases, God renames the person.  When God renames the person, it is generally in the context of cutting a covenant.  Whenever God gives a person a new name, God’s renaming is efficacious.  That is their name.  Abraham is Abraham; he is no longer Abram.  Sarah is Sarah; she is not Sarai.

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On March 18, 2019 By In Family and Children

Lenten Journey, Day 11

Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

As parents, training our children is always a challenge. We may succeed here or there, but the consistency suffers throughout the year. Lent is a great way to practice training consistently. What we want to do is provide patterns that they will carry throughout life. Training is more than memorizing things or learning new things, training is catechizing our children in the way of truth.

Lent gives us the perfect training theme: the cross of Jesus. The cross instructs us and our children that there is no glory before crown; no victory before war and no feast before fast. The cross teaches that in serving one another we are truly free.

Our children need habits more than facts. They need to see the cross of Jesus as the center of their formation. They need the crucified Lord as their Savior. Once the cross becomes the great marker in their journey they will not depart from it. They will live their lives feasting in the empty tomb. Blessed Lent!

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