Men
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By In Counseling/Piety, Culture, Discipleship, Men, Wisdom

Letters To Young Men: The Man & His Mission

Dear Young Man,

In my first letter, I talked to you about the state of masculinity in our culture; what you are facing and will have to face in the future. It’s bad out there, and you face many challenges. However, as we will see as we proceed through these letters, challenges should be right up your alley. The purpose of these letters is not merely to curse the darkness, but to give you light by which to walk as men. Consequently, in this second letter, I begin focusing positively on what it means to be a man.

First and foremost, man is created a worshiper. As the image of God, man is created to reflect and participate in the family life of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. We are to join in the family conversation—prayer—talking to one another about needs, praising one another for good works, asking for forgiveness where we have sinned (us, not God, of course), eating with one another (the Supper), talking about the situations in our families, churches, nations, and the world, and suggesting things that might be done about it. We are to listen to our God, the one who created us, redeemed us, and defines who we are and what we are to do in this world. We are to respond in allegiance to him, loving him with all of our being and joyfully obeying what he commands. You are created, first and foremost, as a worshiper.

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By In Counseling/Piety, Family and Children, Men, Politics, Wisdom

Defy the Culture: Get Married

As you look around at the cultural confusion, you might be wondering how to get involved. Where do you start with the kind of mess that is all around us? I have a simple suggestion: get married. And then throw a really big party to celebrate. You might even consider inviting the whole town. I am not being flippant here. This is a serious recommendation and it is a key tactical move in attacking the enemies of darkness. Nothing causes greater consternation in the foe than a godly wedding celebration and a godly marriage.

Over the month of June, the Rainbow Mafia has been inundating us with their brainwashing techniques. And they have been laying it on thick. Business after business has been running Gaystapo ads. And they are super cheesy too. Given this ploy, it is wonderfully defiant to celebrate a Christian wedding.

In this age of sexual perverts, a Christian wedding ceremony is a fantastic grenade to lob at our culture. This kind of grenade accomplishes two things: first, it destroys the folly of the world and second, it exalts the beautiful reality. This is a wonderful way to attack the evil around us. It is a one-two punch that is incredibly winsome. At a Christian wedding, we hear clearly and profoundly the truth of the world: God made us male and female and it is good. He made Adam and Eve for each other. Jesus proclaimed this as Christian marriage in the gospels. This is the reality of the world. All the other perversions are fakes. And those other relationships are ugly and harmful. We get the chance to stand against those errors when we celebrate a Christian wedding.

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By In Men, Podcast

Episode 45, The Pastor and his Diet

In this interview, Pastor Brito interviews Pastor Bill Smith. Bill shares his story from fat Eglon to a fit servant for his king. This may not be the most appetizing conversation to have, but one that pastors (and parishioners) need to have.

The pastoral profession produces portly pastors on their way to an early death. With emotional and physical demands placed on ministers on any given day, pastors are called to make their bodies a living sacrifice unto God for the sake of their congregations. I hope this episode will land in as many pastor’s smartphones as possible. They need to hear it. God cares about our bodies and it’s about time we begin caring for it.

Resource: Cultivating the Body by Bill Smith

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By In Men

Cultivating the Body

We are quickly moving to that time of the year when we will be bombarded with advertisements concerning weight loss. New Year resolutions for weight loss are practically on the liturgical calendar of America. Somewhere around the beginning of a new year, people resolve that they will get in better shape. Maybe they are made to feel guilty by the obesity police in our country (whose standards are, many times, very unrealistic, one-size-fits-all approaches). Perhaps they are outgrowing their wardrobe, or maybe some legitimate health concerns are resulting from carrying too much fat on their bodies. (Heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and such the like, though they can be hereditary, are, many times, the result of poor diets and lack of consistent physical exertion.)

Our savvy entrepreneurs are ready to cash in on the resolutions. Fitness or health clubs will incentivize the resolute by offering special deals. And Americans will consume the offer. From the year 2000 to the year 2014, revenue for these fitness centers increased from 11.6 billion dollars to 24.6 billion dollars.[1] Of course, to go to the gym one needs to look good, so we buy athletic apparel to the tune of 30 million dollars a year.[2]

Though in many areas of our country the health and fitness craze is a perverted obsession, we have put our collective finger on a real issue: our bodies need consistent care. As technology advanced over the past century or two, we moved from a predominately manual labor society to having machines do the strenuous physical work for us. We still work hard, but the work tends to be more with our minds and managing the machines. People like my grandfather were glad to see this day coming. When I was a boy, he refused to teach me certain skills (for better or worse) because he didn’t want to see me have to work as hard as he had. He wanted an easier physical workload for me. That has happened, not only for me but also for the great majority of our society.

Consequently, we are more sedentary in our work than previous generations. We sit in chairs behind desks or, if we are more physically conscientious, we have standing desks or sit on exercise balls. Nevertheless, the amount of physical activity related to our vocations has decreased exponentially. All of this good technology that has produced physical rest has resulted in a new set of issues that call for lifestyle adjustments.


Our bodies were made for physical exertion; they were made to face resistance, work through it, and become stronger through the entire process. When we don’t go through this resistance, our bodies fall into the disrepair of atrophy and disease. God gave us food to fuel this process. Bread strengthens the heart of man (Ps 104.15). Honey gives energy to weary (1Sam 14.25ff.). Our bodies need the appropriate fuel for the work that we face. That, of course, is different from individual to individual depending upon his level of physical activity. When physical exertion is neglected and our diets are out proportion with our activity, the fuel becomes more of a poison to our bodies; it may be a slow-acting poison, but it is a poison nonetheless.

On the outside-looking-in, there is this (Reformed?) guy who thinks this whole emphasis on exercise and diet is silly. He understands that he has freedom in Christ, that all of these rich foods are gifts from God, and that he can imbibe with thanksgiving. And imbibe them he does! In our relatively rich society, he eats and drinks better than many kings of old. He eats and drinks what he wants, when he wants, and in the amount he wants. If anyone tells him that he really needs to be careful and take care of his body a little better, he may even defensively retort that what the person is espousing is a “doctrine of demons” (1Tm 4.1ff.). But is he? Is there a biblical rationale for caring for your body through diet and exercise? I believe that there is.

Learning this rationale began for me back when I was in my late twenties. (I am fifty years of age as I write this.) I was somewhere around two-hundred sixty-five pounds on a six-foot-one-inch frame. I was wearing a forty-two-inch waist pant. And I was as happy as a hog in mud (and kind of looked like one). I was the one that would say, “Well, we’re all going to die anyway. I might as well die eating what I want!”

But then I started teaching my congregation the Ten Words. While I was reading Thomas Watson’s exposition of the Sixth Word in his book The Ten Commandments, I was convicted about my slow self-murder. Watson said, “Many dig their grave with their teeth.”[3] At that point, I realized that cultivating bodily health was commanded by God. I didn’t fully understand the rationale behind the command, but I knew I had to do something about my lack of self-control and the consequent health problems. I also knew it would be a challenge to teach my congregation about self-control while I looked like Eglon, king of Moab.

I began some moderate exercise (about thirty minutes of aerobic exercise in the mornings) and changed my diet significantly. I lost between fifty-five to sixty-five pounds over the year. For the past twenty years or so, there have been ups and downs and the exercise routines have changed, but I have experienced the benefits of cultivating health.

Through these years I have been able to reflect a little bit more on biblical rationale of maintaining healthy disciplines. Caring for and developing our bodies is rooted in the nature of our creation. God created man from the dust of the ground and commanded man to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. The agricultural images used are not superficial metaphors. There is a correspondence between man and the ground. Men plant seeds in women and fruit is born from the womb. We are living, walking, breathing ground. Our bodies are gardens that need to be cultivated in many ways. We learn things about ourselves by observing how the ground is glorified. One lesson we learn is that our bodies need attention to be fruitful or healthy. Our bodies need to be cultivated and nurtured, fighting back thorns and thistles, in order that good, healthy fruit can be produced.

We cultivate our bodies through “plowing them up” with physical activity and “fertilizing them” with proper diet. The first plot of ground for which God has given us stewardship is his little garden that is our body. It is His body and caring for it properly is part of our dominion mandate. We should learn how to bring our own bodies into subjection. As we do that, then we are better able to fulfill the other aspects of our dominion mandate.

The everyday benefits of good routines of exercise and healthy diet are well-known. Resistance or strength training (anaerobic exercise) and endurance training (aerobic exercise) have positive effects on many areas of your life. Combined with a consistently good diet, not only are things such as blood pressure and bad cholesterol kept under control, but you are also helped with your mood. Good physical exertion is a stress reducer. A college professor and pastor once told me, “Bill, you have a certain amount of energy that you need to burn up physically. If you don’t burn it up, then it will burn you up.” He was right. An overall balanced lifestyle of exercise, diet, and rest helps reduce stress, increases overall energy, stimulates hormones that can help with depression, boosts your immune system, and helps prevent heart disease.

None of this should be a surprise to us who have a biblical view of the body. God created us to fight the ground and make it fruitful. He promised that we would see fruit. The health benefits, in general, are part of that fruit.

None of this is to say that all of this is a panacea that will make us immortal. Our bodies are still subject to death. There will be thorns and thistles. And we are reminded at every funeral and Ash Wednesday that we are dust and to dust we shall return. This is the reality until the resurrection from the dead. Diet and exercise do not have life in themselves and, therefore, should never become an idol. We are working with dying, decaying bodies. Nevertheless, God has commissioned us to do battle with the thorns and thistles and enjoy the fruit of our labor. We do this when we battle disease; every time we take medicine or administer it to someone else, we are battling the ground. We do this because the body matters.

Improving and maintaining your health is not a selfish endeavor. In fact, it is a form of service to others. As you maintain your health, for example, you are able to handle stress better. Your disposition toward others tends to be more pleasant. Improving your health also helps your energy level so that you can work more efficiently, achieving more in less time. Also, as you do what you are able to improve and maintain your health, you are working so as not to become a burden to others as a result of your indulgences through the years.

Therefore, beloved brethren, take up the battle of the bulge, cultivating your body to the glory of God. Present your bodies to him as a well-tended garden.

Originally published at Theopolis.


[1]             http://www.statista.com/statistics/236120/us-fitness-center-revenue/

[2]             https://www.quora.com/How-much-money-do-Americans-spend-on-fitness-products-each-year

[3]             Thomas Watson, The Ten Commandments (Carlisle, PA: Banner of Truth Trust, 1995), 145.

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By In Culture, Family and Children, Men, Politics, Theology, Worship

Extending the Christmas Season

Guest post by Steve Wilkins written on  December 23, 2016 & published by permission

Stretching Christmas
For many people Christmas comes on December 25 and is over December 26. The tree is taken down along with the lights and the other decorations, and everyone begins setting the house in order for the new year. No more Christmas hymns. No more celebrations (well, until New Year’s Eve). Christmas comes but once a year – and thanks be to God, because we’re exhausted!

So, if I were to ask, “How’s your Christmas going?” most people would give me the blank stare. But according to our calendar (and I mean the Church calendar), Christmas is just getting started on December 25. Christmas day is just the beginning of a “season” numbering twelve days (the “twelve days of Christmas”).

During this season of celebration we remember not only our Savior’s birth (the feast of the Nativity on December 25) but our first martyrs (St. Stephen, December 26), St. John the evangelist, and the murder of the boy babies in Bethlehem by Herod (“The Feast of Holy Innocents”). Then on January 1, we commemorate the circumcision of Jesus (circumcised on the 8th day). All that before closing out our celebration of Christmas with the Feast of Epiphany on January 6!

Christmas is intended to be a “season,” not just a day.

You say, “But who can stand this? By Christmas day I’m already worn down to my last frazzle!”

Well, granted, given the way things are presently, changing our practice and getting into the new rhythm of the Church calendar is going to take some time — and realistically, it may now be impossible to turn the culture away from the present “tradition.” I’m not quite sure how to go about it or what it would look like. But somehow, I think it would be good to try to get back to the old rhythm of the Christmas season.

The fact that we have lost the rhythm of the various “seasons” has contributed, at least in part, to the fleeting joy (and often extended depression and disappointment) we have during these times — and here, I’m speaking especially about Christmas — the celebration is simply too brief to be appreciated fully. The traditional Christian calendar gives us a different rhythm for life and time — especially Christmas time.

And following the Christian calendar is not just another way to thumb our noses at secular ideas of the “Christmas season.” The twelve days are important because they give us time to reflect on what the incarnation and birth of Jesus means. We need the twelve days to celebrate the wonder of God becoming man and all that was accomplished by our Savior.

Why twelve days? No one knows for sure. Perhaps this was to be an analogy to the twelve tribes of the old Israel that have now been transformed into the new Israel. Or maybe the 12 days signify the twelve months of the year pointing to the fact that Christ is with us not just one day but year-round.

Whatever the intention, the twelve days give us an opportunity truly to rejoice and reflect on the great mercy and grace of God in giving us His Son.

We have been baptized into Jesus’ death and resurrection and have now entered the “new heavens and new earth” (though not yet perfected). Whether we are called to martyrdom, or to prophetic witness, or simply to faithful living in the joys and sorrows of our daily lives, we must live all of our days in the knowledge of our blessedness: redeemed by Jesus and in Him made acceptable and beloved in God’s sight. We are part of the society of people whose world has been turned upside down, and we are to live out this truth that overturned the old world and made all things new.

Observing Christmas as a season helps us to move beyond the sentimentalism that has become so much a part of “Christmas” and commemorate the true significance of Jesus’ birth. It enables us to see that Jesus’ coming truly transforms all things. It marked the end of the old world (under the dominion of sin and death) and the beginning of the new. And it reminds us of our new identity and purpose. We are now children of the King and are called to rejoice and give thanks and show the world the new destiny that now has come in Him. To celebrate for twelve days (as opposed to one) enables us to realize afresh the significance of what happened in Bethlehem and it declares to the world the remarkable reality that Jesus has destroyed the works of the devil and established a kingdom that shall have no end.

So, I don’t know exactly how to begin to do this, but it sure seems like a good idea to me. Stretching Christmas out over a number of days — making it a more full (and perhaps a more relaxing and refreshing) celebration — might bring far more benefits than frustrations; it just might bring us more joy than worry; more peace and less hustle and fuss. Whaddaya say? I think we should give it a shot.

Steve Wilkins is Pastor of Church of the Redeemer in West Monroe, Louisiana.

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By In Family and Children, Men

The Father-Leader

The Faith of our Children

I sat across the table from a father holding his beautiful five-month-old daughter. On my lap, I have my own infant son and another of mine, a toddler, underfoot. Somewhere in between the prattling about of these tiny humans, we were actually able to get a few complete thoughts out. Through the years, one particular thought has come up in our conversations over and over again, “what can we do to ensure our children stay in the faith?” Neither of us was raised by what we would call Christian fathers. We both came to Christ in high school in the context of a public school Bible club and youth group. Back then, we would lament the milquetoast Christianity of those raised in the church. Perhaps it was “old hat” to them or they had just spent years going through the motions – and now they felt no sense of urgency. Or they didn’t share our sense of urgency.

Now both of us went on to marry virtuous women raised in the church – both of the Reformed tradition. And the Lord has blessed us with Children to lead and guide in the way. I explained to my fellow father, how my wife and I had our son in a Christian School. I shouted to our five-year-old at the other end of the dining table, asking him to recite the scriptures he had been memorizing the week before. As if somehow this answered the question weighing on our hearts. The Christian School will certainly help my children learn scripture, discipline their habits, and train them in a variety of academic disciplines, but it will never replace the single greatest influence on my child’s future trajectory: their father.

A Father’s Lasting Influence

Christian Father Fatherhood Leadership DadIt’s not hard to see how much influence a father has on his child’s future. From a worldly perspective, this is often referred to as the “birth lottery.” Writing for Business Insider, Alison Griswold writes, “the amount of money people make is strongly predicted by what their parents earn…” Even in an age of unprecedented social mobility, a father can significantly determine one’s potential opportunities for education, friends, a spouse, and jobs. What college you end up at or who your wife might be, is nearly predetermined by the circumstances created by your father.

Just as fathers play a significant role in determining the worldly circumstances by which children leave the household and enter society, so to do fathers determine the spiritual circumstances by which children enter the faith. The Book of Proverbs takes this a step further to say that the crown of a father is not his children, but his grandchildren. “Children’s children are the crown of old men,” (Proverbs 17:6). A father’s impact is then not merely on his immediate children, but multigenerational. To be a father is to represent the trajectory of an entire lineage. Certainly, the reader can see that the father is an important role which can either bring forth a series of covenantal blessings or a generational disaster. It is for this reason that every father that calls himself a Christian must be wholly committed to the success of his wife, his children, and his grandchildren.

Christian Father Fatherhood Leadership Dad

The Father’s Commitment

This commitment to the success of your family is a discipline and habit. It requires the grace of God and a spirit of humility. God’s grace isn’t infused on passive men but requires men to submit and obey the Lord. Grace is free, but not painless. As Flannery O’Connor rightly quipped, “All human nature vigorously resists grace because grace changes us and the change is painful.” This is why St. Paul encourages you to, “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12) As a father, I have often failed to meet what I understood to be my fatherly obligations. I am often impatient with my wife and children, imprudent with my time, and selfish with my resources. Do not despair. The conviction here is God’s means of renewing his call for you to lead your family. Acknowledge to God and to your family that you have not been the father and leader that our Lord expected you to be. Explain that you truly desire their success. Wives and children need to know that you love and need them.

The Father-Leader Explained

Christian Father Fatherhood Leadership DadA father-leader must recognize that his family is an essential part of his own salvation. He needs the prayers of his wife and children. He needs their gifts and even their weaknesses. The wife and children the Lord has given you are part of God’s plan of forming you into the image of his Son, therefore the father-leader must recognize where his family is going and be patient. I often remark that my sins are most evident in the sins of my children. Fathers should then look at our sins as a clue to where our children will also struggle. This is why it is so important that Fathers are working out their own issues, so as to avoid their owns sins being, “visited unto the third and fourth generation.” To avoid passing on their sins as their children’s inheritance.

Father-leaders reject that they are fathers by the mere happenstance of biological functions, but see their role as ordained by the sovereign God. Yet this does not mean that he should demand or expect immediate results. A relationship of influence is a privilege that a father must earn, guard, and protect by investing in life-long relationships with each member of his family. This requires time, sacrifice, patience, and humility as you continue to demonstrate your commitment to your family. Your family wants to see in you a certain consistency that they can count on. Commitments must be evident, your wife and children know what it means to be “on your calendar.” They can see how you treat those whom you respect and honor. If raising faithful children is important to you, then you must strive to be more than a sperm-donor and more than a financier of food, lodging, and clothing – you must be a leader demonstrating his commitment to his children by fulfilling his God-given responsibility to lead his family.

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By In Culture, Men, Politics, Theology, Wisdom

Principalities and Powers, Part I

The Principalities and Powers, Part 1

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By In Books, Culture, Family and Children, Interviews, Men, Podcast, Politics, Scribblings

The Importance of Earnest Being

The digital ink spilled over Canadian clinical psychologist and author Jordan Peterson by now could fill a metaphorical ocean, but I want to venture what I think may be an unexplored cause of his popularity: his lack of guile or pretense.

Anyone who has spent any time in comment box debates or hasn’t been living in an undersea cave since the 2016 presidential election knows the tone of news commentary, opinion writing, and even journalism has taken a nasty turn. Of course, if you had asked someone following the 2012 election whether the partisan rancor in America could get any worse, he might have shrugged and said, “I don’t see how.” That person is probably hiding in a dark place right now, embarrassed by his lack of imagination.

Image result for jordan peterson beard

It’s not enough to disagree with someone, anymore. If a person favors a different policy, has come to a different quotient after dividing the benefits of his or her political party by its drawbacks, or even fails to subscribe to an ascendant gender theory of more recent provenance than my five-year-old daughter, such a person is not merely wrong. He or she is too stupid to be classified as a vertebrate (in which case we mock), or else irredeemably wicked (in which case we call him or her a Nazi or a Cultural Marxist). These mutually exclusive attacks are alternated from day to day, often against the same people.

But what if not just merely wrong, but pitiably wrong–even deceived–were still serviceable categories? What if instead of automatically sorting ourselves into warring ideological or partisan factions hurling insults and abuse at one another, we called a ceasefire, met on neutral ground, and admitted, “Hey, I am just playing the part I thought I was supposed to play, but I don’t really think you are a venomous arthropod. Let’s calm down and figure this out.”?

That’s where Jordan Peterson seems to be coming from. (more…)

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By In Culture, Men, Theology, Wisdom

Suffering Doesn’t Make You Stronger

There is an idea out there that goes something like this: “Hard times produce great men, great men produce good times, good times produce weak men, and weak men produce bad times. Repeat.” While this cycle seems to have some truth in it, this idea is based on a subtle lie.

The lie originates in the pervasive idea that suffering and hardship produces strength. The clichéd phrase that is thrown around is “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” and this line has appeared in various movies (e.g. The Dark Knight and Avengers) and songs (e.g. Kelly Clarkson and Kanye West). A cliché is a culture’s catechism and our culture knows this catechism by heart. This idea is also behind much of the #Metoo movement.

The idea that suffering makes you stronger comes from Nietzsche. And just saying that should already cause us to be concerned with the idea. The specific phrase appears in his work Twilight of the Idols, but he talks about the idea in other places, like in his work Beyond Good and Evil. In that work, he says: “Independence is for the very few; it is a privilege of the strong.”[1] This statement is a foundational idea for Nietzsche: true freedom is only for the strong. The natural question that follows then is how does one become strong? Nietzsche cautions his readers that they might not be ready for this: “Something might be true while being harmful and dangerous in the highest degree.”[2] Can you really handle this, he is asking. If you think you can handle this then you need to realize that the true test of one’s spirit is how much of the truth you can endure. The thinking here is that truth is verified by experiencing some great trial or struggle. Nietzsche warns his readers: “You should not dodge one’s tests, though they may be the most dangerous game one could play…”[3] Through your greatest struggles and tests, you become strong.

This is a central idea for Nietzsche. And he is plain wrong.

Now it can seem like he is right. Last time I went through something hard I learned a lot. A key example could be an exam. I sweated my eyeballs out and I learned a lot. See Nietzsche is right, right? Nope, he’s still wrong.

The reality is that suffering and tests are not in themselves good or bad. It really depends on the person. As a teacher, I see this in my students all the time. One student takes an exam and he works really hard and he learns a lot. Good job. Another student takes the same exam and doesn’t work hard. He struggles terribly through the exam and he didn’t learn a thing. Is he stronger? Not really.  (more…)

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By In Culture, Men, Theology, Worship

A Call for Masculine Grace

I was visiting an out of town church recently and the minister was preaching on Paul’s description of how we are called to freedom by God’s grace. While the sermon proclaimed the centrality of grace in the Christian life and how it makes us free, it was missing a key component. I would describe this component as masculine grace.

I will come back to what I mean by this term but first it is important to say that we are saved by grace; it is the gift of God. We don’t bring anything to the table. The only thing required for salvation is that you are a sinner. In this sense, the bar for entering salvation is as low as it can get.

But the temptation is to think that we will stay at this low entry point: every Christian will always be the same weakling sinner he was when he started and he will never move beyond this starting point. Now it is true that we never leave the foot of the cross until we are done with this life but it is important to understand that salvation has an impact on us here and now. Another way to say this is that if a person does not really change after the point of salvation then it would be legitimate to ask if the person has really experienced salvation. Which is to say, the gospel changes people. It really does. So how does grace change people?

The only way we can answer that question is by looking to the standard of God’s character and law. This is what I mean by masculine grace. Being the good Father that He is, God doesn’t leave us where He found us, dead in our sins, but He raises us up and matures us. A key way that He works this out in our lives is by showing us more and more what He is like. As challenging as it sounds, He is the standard of righteousness and holiness that we are shooting for in our own lives. This is God’s plan. He won’t settle for anything less and neither should we.

The danger then in speaking of grace is that we can make it sound like the bar is so low that we will always stay the messy creatures that we are. But we need to be careful with this kind of teaching on grace because it can actually become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We start out as wretched sinners and that is where we will always be. But that’s just not true. God’s work is efficacious and He really has brought us out of the darkness of sin. We really are the righteousness of God. (more…)

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