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On August 9, 2023 By In Theology, Women

Uncovering the Headcovering Movement, pt. 1

In 1 Corinthians 11 the apostle Paul writes, “Every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head…the woman ought to have authority on her head, because of the angels” (vv. 5, 10). At first glance, this could be taken as an on-going command for all generations. Thus, the practice of wearing an artificial headcovering (for Christian women) has gained popularity in recent months and years.

Upon second glance, Paul’s teaching is not as clear-cut as headcoverers say it is. Exegesis of the text will reveal 10 vital questions that must be answered. The majority of these questions are not answered for us by Paul in 1 Corinthians 11, which means they will be answered according to one’s presuppositions. By God’s design, we have to insert assumptions into the text to make sense of it.

Is Paul speaking of husbands and wives, or men and women in general?

Verses 3-5 pose a dilemma. The words for “man” and “woman” in Greek are the same words used for “husband” and “wife.” The context is what usually determines if the subject is men or husbands, women or wives. Paul refers to creation later in the passage, so Adam and Eve are clearly in view. But this alone doesn’t help much. Adam and Eve were the first man and first woman, as well as the first husband and first wife. Is Paul talking about the genders broadly or marriages specifically? Arguments could be made for either case, and even headcoverers are split on this question. Some think headcovering is for married women only, others think it is for every woman including children. But if headcovering is an on-going command, there should be no ambiguity on this question. We must be able to determine who is required to do it and who is not.

What does Paul mean by “praying and prophesying”?

Is Paul speaking of any regular prayer in verses 4-5, or does he mean something more specific? He places it together with “prophesying,” which is a miraculous sign-gift. Is the “praying” also a miraculous sign-gift, such as praying in tongues? Since “praying and prophesying” is the only time Paul requires a headcovering, we must be able to determine what these phrases entail.

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On August 3, 2023 By In Men, Wisdom, Women

The Wonder of Attraction

“Three things are too wonderful for me; four I do not know: the way of an eagle in the heavens, the way of a serpent on a rock, the way of a ship in the heart of the sea, and the way of a man with a maiden.”

~Proverbs 30.18-19

When you first see her in the crowd, she catches your eye. You wonder who she is, so you ask people about her. As you mill about in other conversations, you constantly scan the room to find out where she is, wondering if she has noticed you. You are nervous about talking to her, but you summon the willpower knowing rejection is better than regret. As you approach her, you notice that she becomes a little fidgety herself, involuntarily giving a little grin with a blush and a concern about her appearance. Your heart rates increase, and your minds are singularly focused on one another, blocking out everything and everyone in the room. You are attracted to one another. Much more must be learned about one another to sustain and mature this attraction, but the dance has begun.

Why her? Why him? Why didn’t you feel this way around other people in the crowd or other people you’ve met in various situations? Ahhh, the wonder and mystery of attraction. Some aspects of attraction are quite obvious, but some we will never grasp. This intersexual dance is a beautiful feature of God’s created design and an integral aspect of fulfilling the mission God gave us.

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On July 19, 2023 By In Men, Women

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

In 1989 the Rob Reiner movie When Harry Met Sally starring Billy Crystal as Harry Burns and Meg Ryan as Sally Albright hit the screens. There is a popular scene from that movie that exposed something that many people won’t say: men and women can’t be friends. Harry and Sally are riding in a car together talking. Harry explains to Sally that men and women can’t be friends because the issue of sex always gets in the way. Sally incredulously and in shock tells Harry that this isn’t true. She has a number of men friends, and the desire for sex is not involved. Harry disagrees with her, and the conversation ensues.

Rob Reiner and his characters are no biblical scholars to be sure. What they expound as truth certainly needs to be tested. Is it true that men and women can’t be friends; that is, that intersexual friendships are very different than same sex friendships? I actually think Harry Burns is on to something. I believe that although the sexual relations issue is one of the biggest issues in intersexual relationships, it is certainly not the only one.

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On June 28, 2023 By In Discipleship, Men, Wisdom, Women

Toxic Friendships

“The satisfied soul tramples the honeycomb but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

~Proverbs 27.7

“Toxic” is a word that is overused and often misused in cultural conversations—any discomfort in any relationship, whether casual or intimate, may be characterized as toxic. You said something with which I disagree and hurt my feelings, so I now characterize you and my relationship with you as toxic. Toxic masculinity is all the rage for any male who demonstrates any traits of masculinity at all. If you want to shut down any meaningful, intellectual, and logical debate, label your interlocuter “toxic.” This is as bad as being a “racist” or “abusive,” also overused and misused.

The reaction may be that there is no such thing as a toxic relationship. However, the abuse of a word doesn’t negate its legitimacy. Some relationships are toxic, and Solomon warns his son about toxic companions.

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On June 22, 2023 By In Discipleship, Men, Theology, Wisdom, Women

Influencers

“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer evil.”

~Proverbs 13.20

Though “influencer” has been practically coined in recent years with the rise of social media’s vast number of personalities, the concept is nothing new. We have always had these types in marketing or the latest gurus who gain popularity by promising the good life to those who buy what they are selling, follow their teaching, or, most of the time, both. Influencers, as we now understand them, are celebrities, real or perceived experts, popular social media personalities, and content creators who can separate you from your money and/or change how you think and act. From the Kardashians to Jordan Peterson, influencers affect our lives. They may not affect our lives directly, but they indirectly shape our lives by shaping the culture.

Influencers have always been around. Other people influence our thinking and affections from the time we are born until the time we die. Whether parents, peers, or potentates, our hearts are shaped by our relationships. This is why we must be vigilant in guarding our hearts by guarding our friendships.

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On June 15, 2023 By In Culture, Discipleship, Men, Theology, Wisdom, Women

Why Friends?

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he quarrels against all wise judgment.”

~Proverbs 18.1

We need friends. Whether same-sex comradery or the intimacy of marriage, we need to know and be known by others.

Friendships at every level have faced challenges in every age of history. Twenty-first century Western culture is no different. Though the challenges take different forms, genuine friendships are threatened by a number of cultural factors. The way we understand friendships is changing rapidly. We are more connected with people and less relational. We are friends with hundreds or thousands but with few or any in particular. Technology changes the way we relate. The telegraph gave us information about people thousands of miles away with whom we had no connection and contributed to desensitizing us. (See Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves To Death.) The blessing of air conditioning holed us up in our homes and made it uncomfortable to visit with neighbors. Television became a source of entertainment and information tempted us not to interact with the people in our homes.

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On May 9, 2023 By In Discipleship, Family and Children, Wisdom, Women

Letters To Young Women: Sexual Agency

Dear Young Lady,

King Solomon writes the book of Proverbs to his son, the prince. The king-in-waiting needs wisdom, the ability to see how the world is supposed to be combined with skills to put the world in proper order. This was the original man’s responsibility as well. Unlike the original man, Solomon’s son will have battles with sin that complicate and intensify the challenges that the first man faced.

While much of Solomon’s reign reflected the meaning of his name, “peace,” kings must always be prepared for battle. Because kings such as Solomon’s father, David, were great warriors, you might think that Solomon would spend a great deal of time instructing in the art of war, such as Sun Tzu teaches. Armies from other lands were constantly threatening the country’s integrity, and the king’s responsibility was to lead the armies in protecting the homeland. For example, we might expect battlefield strategies to take down the Philistines as David did. Solomon touches on that here and there, but that is not a significant focus. He prepares his son for battle, but it is a different sort of battle, a battle which, in some respects, is much more strenuous than a fight with a Philistine giant. This battle is with himself as he fights off the power of a woman. Solomon lost this battle. 1Kings 11.1-3 says that Solomon gave his heart in love to many foreign women who turned his heart from Yahweh. Whether he wrote his proverbial instructions before or after he repented in his later life, I do not know. But Solomon was obviously well acquainted with the power of women.

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On May 4, 2023 By In Culture, Discipleship, Men, Wisdom, Women

Generational Warfare

“The glory of young men is their strength, but the majesty of old men is their gray hair.”

~Proverbs 20.29

There are different glories for different bodies. When speaking of the resurrection of our bodies, Paul says that not all flesh is the same. There is one kind of flesh of men, another flesh of animals, another of fish, and another of birds. There are celestial bodies and terrestrial bodies, each with its own glory. Different glories exist within each of those categories. Sun, moon, and stars all have glory, but each has its particular glory, even down to each star differing from other stars (1Cor 15.39-40). Each body has its particular function and, therefore, its own glory within the great tapestry of God’s creation.

Glory is not only particular to different kinds of bodies that will never be the same but is also true of the same body at different stages of life. There is a glory when you are young and a glory when you are old, as Solomon says in Proverbs 20.29. The young man’s glory is his strength. The older man’s glory is in his gray hair (when found in righteousness; Pr 16.31).

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On March 5, 2023 By In Wisdom, Women

Letters To Young Women: Singleness

Dear Young Woman,

After my last letter, you might have questions about singleness. Should you pursue marriage? How high of a priority should it be to pursue marriage? What should a young woman be doing while she is single? What happens if a young woman is never married? In this letter, I will address these questions. This one’s a little long, so get yourself a cup of tea, a Frappuccino, or a soy-skim-latte double non-dairy whip and settle in for a bit.

First things first. Should you pursue marriage? The short answer is, “Yes.” Many in the church today are encouraging singleness and even exalting it. Some take Paul’s words out of context in 1 Corinthians 7 concerning remaining single and believe that he is giving undifferentiated instruction for all times. However, he clearly says that his instructions relating to staying in your present state, whether single or married, pertain to “the present distress” (1 Cor 7.26). The Corinthians are facing or about to face some difficult times. It is better not to take a spouse during these times. There could be several reasons for that. Paul says their troubles would increase, and he wants them spared from that (1 Cor 7.28). Adding a spouse when you are about to go through severe trials will increase your anxieties (1 Cor 7.32ff.). In those times of stress, you are more likely to compromise your commitment to Christ. For example, it is much easier to have someone torture you for your faith than to torture your spouse.

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On February 11, 2023 By In Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom, Women

Letters To Young Women: What is a Woman?

Dear Young Woman,

Once upon a time, there was an infant king. This man was created fully grown physically, but he was immature. His father, the Great King, gave him a realm to rule. It would take time for him to mature to the place where he could do all that his father wanted him to do. His father would be patient, giving him everything needed at each stage of maturity to accomplish his mission. When the infant king recognized he didn’t have all that he needed to move to the next stage of the mission, he would patiently wait for the father to give him the gifts he needed.

The first need was recognized within several hours of his creation. The infant king was alone. With the vastness of his domain and what was required of him to accomplish his father’s mission, the infant king couldn’t do this alone. The father knew that it was not good for his son to be alone, but he also wanted his son to recognize that it was not good. So, in one of his first tasks as an infant king—naming animals—he noticed how God made them in pairs, males and females. The fact that his father made the animals in these complementary pairs was his revelation that he always intended for his son to have another creature like him but different. His father hid it from him at first but made it easy for him to figure it out. And he did. Without any scientific studies, the man recognized that he was male and there was no corresponding female.

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