“A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in uncovering his heart.”
~Proverbs 18.2
You hear or read a few trigger words and phrases. You are on high alert concerning the issue du jour, prepared for war, and ready to meme people into submission. These triggers are all you need, and off you go, splashing your characterizations of a man’s statement and his character on social media. You are a keyboard warrior, living most of the time before a computer screen with limited face-to-face interaction. You have read books, and your opinions have been validated within the digital echo chamber of your social media friends hundreds of times. “Attaboys,” likes, and shares abound. You are moving the needle; you may even go down in history right there with Martin Luther … or Mao.
There is one problem. You didn’t listen to what the man said and have learned nothing of his character. Your opinions were like an aggressive, vicious dog on a weak leash, which at the first sign of any movement went on the attack. You don’t care about sincerely understanding another person and his position. You only care that people know that you are the smartest, edgiest, wittiest guy on the internet. The fact that you are engaged in character assassination is a small price to pay for your five minutes of fame.
This is the activity of a fool.
The fool, the morally deficient man, takes no delight in understanding. He doesn’t want to comprehend reality, what is actually being said, what is intended, and the character of the speaker. Understanding requires work, and the fool is a sloth. Understanding requires love, and the fool loves himself more than he loves others. Understanding requires sustained focus, and the fool is undisciplined. All the fool cares about guarding the little world in which he lives where he and his opinions maintain highly exalted positions.
Conversely, the wise man delights in understanding. This makes him a good listener. He understands wise listening as a part of his larger, God-given mission to create peace. Consequently, what concerns him most is not the pity dig on some supposed opponent without regard for whether or not it is a proper characterization. Rather he patiently listens, seeking to understand. He has disciplined his mind to focus on what the other person is saying. He is not a mental fidget, creating scenarios and answers before he hears what the other person says. He knows that to answer a matter before he hears, before he sufficiently comprehends, is folly and shame (Pr 18.13).
The wise man also considers context. Context involves the history of the person all the way down to the present nature of the conversation. Is this a man of character? What is going on in his life? How well do I know this person? Do I have the right to assume certain things about him? What are my own filters that are affecting the way I am hearing what he is saying? Am I so locked into my position that I am misunderstanding him? Am I concerned more about impressing my friends than I am grasping what is being said?
The wise listener also clarifies. “Let me see if I am hearing you correctly. Are you saying?…” He can repeat back to the man what he is saying to the man’s satisfaction.
All of this requires humility. But the fool is deafened by his pride. Humble wisdom gets out of the entrapments of one’s own head, insisting on his own way of seeing everything, and wants to understand to create peace.
Social media tends to be a playground for fools … even among Christians. Young bucks try to make a name for themselves by taking down all the “boomers.” Basement-dwelling warriors of all ages, in the safe confines behind their keyboards, seek to make names for themselves by taking down the “big names.” To them, they are just words on a screen, not faithful men who have proven themselves over decades. They don’t genuinely care about what the man said or the character from which it comes, believing the best about him. Instead, they prove that they don’t care about the overall mission to bring God’s order to the world because they are constantly creating havoc among brothers over minutiae that they have formed into a mountain.
God has called us to wisdom, and the wise are good listeners. Be quick to hear and slow to speak (Jms 1.19).
