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On August 30, 2024 By In Culture

Red-Pilling & Christ

Guest Post by Toby Sumpter

Red-pilling is the realization that you’ve been lied to, the world isn’t the way you were told. A bunch of what you thought was real was actually a sham, a scam, a facade. Satan is the father of lies, and satanic cultures and kingdoms thrive on lies. This is why conversion to Christ is the ultimate red pill. Christ is the truth incarnate. His truth sets men free. And therefore, His Word in Scripture must be our touchstone for everything. Christ is King, not Satan, not his useful idiots in places of power.

Covid was a major red-pilling moment in our culture. The media and cultural elites tried to convince us that millions would die if we didn’t shut down our “non-essential” businesses and churches and schools, stay home, wear masks, stand 6 feet apart, and then when we noticed that abortion clinics and casinos were still open and they were still having private dinner parties, while our grandparents died alone in nursing homes, while they were arresting lone guys on beaches, we saw through the charade. When BLM riots ripped through our cities and protests and marches gathered like churches and they were praised and justified by our politicians and pastors, we realized we had been lied to… by almost everyone.

The trans-jihad has been another radicalizing red pill moment. Demanding that sick men have access to our daughters’ and mothers’ bathrooms and locker rooms and athletics, drag queens in libraries, and performing stripteases in front of young children, and the sudden rush to chemically castrate or permanently, surgically maim any teenager with a moment’s worth of sexual confusion, not to mention the millions of dollars behind it all — revealed to many that this is not about love and equality but about perversion, grooming, pedophila, and a corrupt counseling and medical industry.

And don’t forget the schools. The public/government schools have been complicit in all of this. From sexualizing kids from young ages to DEI indoctrination from preschool to universities, white Christian guilt and shame has metastasized, not to mention plummeting scores and standards on basic math and literature and history, all filled with Cultural Marxist religious talking points, in the name of neutrality and secularism and freedom. Heh. Loads and loads of fabrications, lies, and deception.

But all of this is a setup for any thinking man to wonder if he’s been lied to about everything. The same people who told me to mask up, take a jab, put money in some dude’s junk, and feel bad for being a white Christian also told me that the civil rights movement was good, that the confederacy was pure evil, the Salem witch trials and the Spanish inquisition were some of the worst examples of religious persecution, and the crusades and the wars of religion are what happen when people take Christianity too seriously.

It’s no wonder people start asking if the moon landing really happened or if the earth is actually flat and maybe there really are aliens and UFOs. And what about mermaids and unicorns and giants? Could a man really walk on water? Can water be turned into wine? Could the dead rise? Some of these things are true, some are partially true, and some are not.

So what do we do in a moment like this? To the Word and to the Testimony. The false teachers and educational wizards and media gurus have always muttered and chirped with their delusions and lies, scraping for power, trying to manipulate the masses with fear. But God’s Word stands true forever. Men will falter. Men will lie. Men will forget. But God’s Word is sure. And in His Light we see light. In His truth, we can distinguish truth from lies. And the truth is that we did not get here in a moment or even in just a few years. We got here by slowly neglecting God’s Word. When you cover the lamp, it gets dark in the room. When you stop celebrating God creating the world in six days, when you stop loving God’s good law, when you stop singing all of God’s favorite songs, the Psalms, when you stop telling the story of God’s covenant faithfulness from Adam to Noah to Abraham to Moses to David to Christ, when you stop loving children, welcoming children into your family, into worship, and doing everything you can to raise them as Christians, when you stop preaching the substitutionary atonement for sin, God’s absolute sovereignty over the universe, and the certainty of the victory of the Great Commission, well, that’s how lies get feet. That’s how it gets dark. That’s how you become susceptible to charades.

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On August 29, 2024 By In Culture, Discipleship

Salty Grace

Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. ~Colossians 4:6

If you think about it from the perspective of many unbelieving Americans, faithful Christians come off as weird. The message we believe is strange. One man from a backwater province in the Roman Empire who lived almost two thousand years ago died on a cross, rose again, and now sits on the throne in heaven, ruling the world to save the world from sin.  How does that make sense? It is foolishness to them. We speak in odd ways to one another. We take membership in the church with utmost seriousness. We live in ways that are out of step with the mainstream. This message has been foolishness to them from our earliest days (see 1 Cor 1:18).

The message we believe and proclaim is weird. We don’t need to make it weirder by being unable to interact with the world around us with basic social skills or being unnecessarily off-putting in the name of “boldness.” While never compromising the gospel at any point, we need to live among unbelievers in attractive ways, even if they are ultimately repulsed by beauty. To accomplish the kingdom mission God gave us, we must strive to live this way.

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On August 28, 2024 By In Podcast

KC Podcast – Episode 142: People, Propositions, and Populism

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On August 22, 2024 By In Discipleship, Family and Children, Work

Slaves & Masters

Over the past 160 years in the West, we have experienced something rare in the history of the world: Chattel slavery has not only been formally abolished but has become culturally abhorrent. When Americans think of slavery, we think of Africans being sold by their kinsmen to people in the West and that slavery was only of those who had dark skin. But light-skinned eastern European Slavs were enslaved by Muslims. The Irish were slaves in the 1600s in Western lands. Slavery reaches back to the time before Abraham, who himself owned slaves. Even today, throughout the world, it is estimated that somewhere around 40 million people are enslaved. The twentieth and twenty-first-century Christian West is an anomaly in the world.

Because of our relatively sheltered place in history, many Christians are embarrassed about what the Scriptures say and do not say about slavery. We expect there to be an absolute prohibition of slavery throughout Scripture and especially in the New Testament, but there isn’t. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Paul and Peter direct slaves to obey their masters, and masters are not commanded to free their slaves. The relationship between master and slave is regulated but not eliminated.

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On August 21, 2024 By In Podcast

KC Podcast – Episode 141: JEEP

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statue of liberty new york

On August 20, 2024 By In Culture

Liberty Requires God-given Rights Exercised in Free Markets

Guest Post by Bill Peacock

“Many persons, having never viewed the subject (of liberty) in this light, charge us with excessive zeal, when they see us so warmly and earnestly contending for freedom of faith as to outward matters, in opposition to the tyranny of the Pope.” – John Calvin

Most Americans these days are more worried about the tyranny of civil government than of the Pope. Yet many of them, including some Christians, are squeamish about or opposed to applying biblical teachings to the public square in order to address the problem of tyranny. Some conservative Christians are hesitant about this because they believe it will lead to conflating Christian liberty and civil liberty and undermining the message of the freedom from sin we have in Jesus Christ.

While these two terms should not be conflated, neither should they be put asunder. John Calvin, in his commentary on Galatians 5:1, wrote that liberty is “an invaluable blessing, in defense of which it is our duty to fight, even to death; since not only the highest temporal considerations, but our eternal interests also, animate us to the contest.”

These temporal considerations of liberty extend into our social and economic lives. The Eighth Commandment, “You shall not steal,” confers an obligation on citizens and rulers not to take property from others. This obligation includes allowing the application of our labor and creativity to God’s creation so that we may use, buy, and sell the property we can make from it, and keep the profits from doing so. “Free market” or “capitalism” are the terms generally used to describe this state of affairs.

Unfortunately, the free market is waning in today’s uber-regulatory world. The government tells us what we must inject into our bodies to keep our jobs, what products we can–or must–sell, what people we must serve–or reject, the wages we must pay–and receive, the price at which we can buy and sell products, and more.

Capitalism, which as the replacement for feudalism allowed people from all classes, for the first time in history, to freely use their land, labor, and capital to their own benefit, is rapidly being replaced by a modern-day feudalism in which the wealthy and politically connected are once again becoming our lords.

Many Christians, perhaps out of concern about maintaining a “separation of church and state,” appear to be oblivious to these problems. While they are quick to point to harmful actions by individuals or businesses in the marketplace, they often ignore worse injustices committed by our rulers.

This is not to say there have not been challenges with capitalism over the centuries since it sprung out of 14th-century Renaissance Europe—poor working conditions, fraud, and strained relationships between owners and workers among them. Even so, the benefits of capitalism indisputably outweigh its human faults in terms of human prosperity and health.

Also indisputable is the history of failure by government officials who attempt to override the decisions of market participants—and their God-given rights—by intervening in markets. Yet the interventions—and failures—continue.

A long line of philosophers, theologians, and political thinkers have understood that humanity’s “Unalienable rights” are not supplied by government but instead are “endowed by their Creator.” This dependence on God rather than the state was expressed by Abraham Kuyper when he wrote that the dominating principle of Calvinism “was not, soteriologically, justification by faith, but, in the widest sense cosmologically, the Sovereignty of the Triune God over the whole Cosmos, in all its spheres and kingdoms, visible and invisible.”

We express the sovereignty of God over us and the state as our God-given rights and obligations of charity, stewardship, and dominion are freely exercised individually and collectively by people. Outside the family and church, the primary way we do this is through markets.

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On August 20, 2024 By In Church, Culture, Family and Children, Theology

What Does Baptism Accomplish? Part Three: A Marriage Ceremony

In this series, I am seeking to answer the question: What Does Baptism Accomplish? To begin with, I said: Baptism initiates a real covenant relationship with the Triune God and with each of the Persons in particular. This means that there are three different aspects to this relationship and each one corresponds to one of the Three Persons of the Trinity. As it pertains to the Father, the relationship is adoptive. As it pertains to the Son, the relationship is marital. And as it pertains to the Holy Spirit, the relationship is ministerial. 

I covered the adoptive aspect and now I’ll be covering the marital aspect. First, I want to show that, in the Bible, the relationship we have with God in Christ is of a marital nature. Second, I’ll show the connection between marriage and baptism. Finally, I’ll provide some guidelines on how to think of this relationship in terms of objective and subjective realities. 

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On August 19, 2024 By In Discipleship, Family and Children, Worship

The Discipline of Paedocommunion

One danger of any ritual is thinking it works for blessing standing alone. The water of baptism magically grants eternal salvation apart from faith. The bread and wine of the Lord’s Supper convey blessings no matter how you live outside of the church or if you participate in the worship service. The “sinner’s prayer” saves apart from participation in the body of Christ and without perseverance. No matter the ritual, there are always dangers of isolating them from a full life of faith, treating them as if they are magic spells.

Those of us who have the privilege of practicing full covenant communion (that is, welcoming our baptized children to the Table) are not immune from the danger. Just as some treat baptism as something of a finish line, so some parents and churches treat paedocommunion (child communion) as if eating the bread and drinking the wine of communion are all that matters for the children. They don’t have to participate in the rest of the service. They can be in a nursery or some other room in the building, cutting themselves off entirely from the rest of the congregation, but when it comes time for communion, they expect to be a part.

With the privilege of paedocommunion comes responsibilities. Communion is the apex of the worship service, a piece of the whole, the end of the journey up God’s holy mountain. Participating in communion assumes that you have heard God’s call to worship, confessed and been cleansed of sin, and been consecrated by his Word. In other words, communion assumes that you have participated in the rest of the worship service. Bread and wine declare peace with God, and peace with God assumes you have received all God’s gifts that precede the gift of peace. Communion can’t be separated from the rest of the service. You can’t just walk in at the end of the service, receive the bread and wine, walk out, and expect that you have received God’s blessing. You haven’t. Indeed, you may be receiving the opposite.

Worship that culminates in the Lord’s Supper is covenant renewal. Covenant renewal is the time that God comes to declare his loving loyalty to his people and we, in response, declare our loving allegiance to him. Throughout history, God has included children in these covenant renewal ceremonies. “Little ones” are gathered around Moses on the mountain when the covenant is renewed (Deut 29:1-15). This is the covenant God made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob that was fulfilled in the Passover, Exodus, and formation of the children of Israel into a nation at Mt Sinai. This covenant was renewed in all the worship rites and rituals at the Tabernacle in the various offerings and feasts. Children participated in these covenant renewals (see Deut 31:9-13; Josh 8:35). When Paul wrote to the churches in the first century and expected his letters to be read to the congregation, he expected children to be present (see Eph 6:1; Col 3:20). We know from 1 Corinthians and Acts that when the church gathered, the Lord’s Supper was eaten. Children were to be present in the worship or covenant renewal of the church.

We know that children can’t understand everything in the worship service. So, why should they be there? They are covenant members, and as covenant members God is renewing the covenant with them too. They have privileges and responsibilities. The worship service is not all about intellectual ability (much to the chagrin of many a Reformed pastor and layman). God wants them there because he makes commitments to them, has commands for them, and expects them to be in his presence.

Their presence and participation in communion require something of the parents and the rest of the church. First, when the parents presented these children for baptism, Jesus took them and declared them to belong to him. Then he gave them back to the parents as members of his church to be good stewards of them, to train them to be the worshipers the Father seeks (John 4:23). Training children to participate in the worship service at various levels of maturity is vital to their discipleship.

Participating in worship in the younger years will be getting children to the place where they can be with the congregation without making a spectacle of themselves. We gather for worship as a unified body, speaking with one voice (Rom 15:6). It is not a time for children or adults to show off. We are an army that walks in lockstep with cadences. According to 1 Corinthians 14, worship ought to be intelligible. Not even the prophets were to be speaking at the same time but showing deference to one another so that everyone could understand what God was saying to the congregation. If people are speaking in languages that can’t be understood, speaking all at once, or creating a cacophony with noise so that others can’t understand, that is disordered worship.

Our children need to learn this. It will take time and effort. Christian parenting is not for the lazy. You may have to take that little one out of the sanctuary several times during the worship service for some directed instruction, but you need to bring him back in. If he knows he can act up and go to a playroom like he wants, he will play you like a cheap fiddle every time. If he knows that there is nothing pleasant outside the doors of the sanctuary and that he will inevitably be returning, it may take a while, but he will get the picture.

The disciplines of worship begin at home. Parents must have a disciplined household, one in which children are trained to understand that there are times to work and there are times to play, there are times to speak and there are times to be quiet. Fathers should direct the family this way, especially if you have little ones. Family worship is a time when children can learn that they must sit still and defer to others, controlling their impulses to blurt out. The instruction in family worship may not be making sure they understand the hypostatic union of Christ. Instruction may be that they learn to control themselves for the sake of the body of Christ.

Communion comes with responsibilities. When our children are young, the primary responsibility is on the parents to train them to participate in worship. The bread and wine aren’t magically conveying blessing apart from the rest of the worship service. Don’t teach your children that they are by excluding them from the worship service.

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On August 16, 2024 By In Culture, Politics

How to Make America Christian Again (A Call to Christians to Become Leaders)

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you. – Exodus 20:12

THE IMPORTANCE OF A CULTURE OF HONOR

The first commandment in the Decalogue that comes with a promise is to honor your father and mother. This promise, originally given to the Old Testament Israelites, assured them that if they adhered to this command, their days would be prolonged in the land the Lord had given them. While this was specifically spoken to the Israelites regarding their covenant inheritance, the principle carries a broader spiritual truth: any society that upholds a culture of honor, rooted in God’s law, will generally experience stability and longevity.

This principle is as true today as it was in ancient times. A nation cannot thrive without a culture of honor. When children are incentivized to disobey their parents, societal hierarchy begins to disintegrate, leading to moral chaos, political instability, and geopolitical vulnerability. We are witnessing the results of this breakdown in our own nation, where generations of children have not been taught to honor their parents, elders, or any authority. The resulting compromise of the family structure has sent adverse ripples through education, vocation, military, government, and every other facet of society. We are raising a generation of coddled, ego-sensitive narcissists who cannot receive orders, follow commands, or defend any cause greater than themselves. God help us in the days ahead.

THE NEED FOR A CULTURE OF HONOR

As daunting as this may seem, Christians can and must be part of the solution. But that solution goes beyond merely pulling our children out of public schools, homesteading, and drinking raw milk. The Westminster Larger Catechism rightly deduces that the command to “honor your father and mother” extends to all rightful and lawful authorities that God has placed in our lives. Yes, children must obey their parents, but adults must also honor their bosses, congregants must honor pastors, and citizens must honor governors. A culture of honor and respect for authority must permeate every level of society, for when it does, it preserves a nation and lengthens its lifespan. Conversely, when such a culture is lost, societal division and decay are inevitable.

If we desire to see American society redeemed and transformed into a Christian nation once more, we must “build it,” like Ray Kinsella, and pray that the spirit of honor “will come.”

THE EXTENT OF THE PROBLEM

To achieve this, we must embrace the mantle of leadership not only within our churches but also in the broader culture. We must move beyond the gnostic tendencies that have crept into Christendom, which suggest our only work is in the spiritual realm. Christians must re-engage with the public square, reclaim leadership in the public sector, and once again become thought leaders, inventors, CEOs, and politicians. While this calling is not for every Christian, it is a necessary pursuit for some.

Consider the absurdity of retreating from culture and expecting it not to decay. How can we assume that unregenerate men will take up the reins we have abandoned and provide Christocentric leadership that heals our land? Expecting the darkness to act as if it had the light is as foolish as waiting for a blind man to paint the next Mona Lisa. If we desire true transformation in our land, we cannot leave the leadership of this world to the morally blind, spiritually deaf, and ethically mute.

As Christians have retreated from institutions of leadership, the vacuum has been filled by sinful men. Here are a few examples: As we abandoned politics, the presidency has been handed over to greedy, narcissistic men leading our country into disaster. As we left the halls of power, they were occupied by bought-and-paid-for degenerates who vote according to who offers the biggest payday rather than according to the Word of God. The courts have become corrupted by men of compromise, college campuses have been overrun by irrational materialists, and corporate boardrooms are now occupied by spineless ideologues who promote insanity, like bikinis with a penis pocket. Most critically, as we have abandoned leadership in the home to government-run schools, babysitters, and daycares, our nation’s moral fabric has rotted in just a few generations, leaving us on moral life support.

THE SOLUTION TO A NATION IN CRISIS

But we are not without hope. If we simply change our level of involvement, we can begin to see improvement. Instead of fleeing from leadership, Christians should embrace it. Why? Because while common grace enables even non-believers to contribute to societal good, Christians, uniquely equipped by the Holy Spirit and guided by Scripture, bring a God-centered approach to leadership. When we step into the public square as Spirit-indwelled believers, we come as walking temples that house the presence of Almighty God. As we work hard, create excellent products, and demonstrate godly wisdom, we let the light of Christ shine in areas of life that have been devoid of a Gospel witness for far too long.

But what about those Christians who pursue leadership for selfish gain? They must repent and act like Christians! The problem of a few undisciplined Christians should not deter us from the discipline of leadership. On the contrary, we should strive all the more to become godly and righteous leaders, so the light of Christ shines brightly at the top of companies, counties, and countries, providing the world with a clear picture of Jesus rather than the caricatures they often receive.

The Westminster Larger Catechism offers a paradigm for how this can happen, stating: “Superiors are… to work inferiors to a greater willingness and cheerfulness in performing their duties to their superiors, as to their parents.”

When we speak of “superiors,” we refer to anyone in a position of authority or leadership. “Inferiors” are those in a position of following, including children under parents, employees under employers, congregants under church leaders, and, within the family, wives under husbands. It is not only the responsibility of the child to obey the parent but also the responsibility of the parent to exercise holy and righteous leadership. It is not only for the employee to honor his boss but for the company president to rule with integrity and Christ-like morality. Only Christians, empowered by the Holy Spirit, can grow into this kind of leadership, and such leadership is desperately needed in our time.

The catechism assumes that Christians will step into leadership roles. Since there will always be superiors guiding inferiors, the goal of Christian maturity is to grow out of childlike ways and into Christian leadership. Out of love for Christ and to the glory of God, we are called to strive for leadership positions in the world, instructing, guiding, and nurturing those who do not know Him, thereby creating a culture where even pagans will thrive. If we desire a godly culture, we must build it, teach it, and disciple it.

This responsibility goes beyond mere instruction to imparting the knowledge of God through our verbal witness and Christ-like living. We are the ones who get the privilege of modeling Christ to those who have never seen Him and glorifying God in front of those who do not perceive Him. Just as parents teach their children to navigate life’s challenges, preparing them to live according to a prescribed manner, Christians must guide those under their charge—both Christian and pagan—to fulfill their roles and responsibilities in a way that honors God. We must create a culture where even atheists recoil at the thought of chemically roasting an infant in the womb, where the influence of the Church is so pervasive that when homosexuality is abolished and outlawed, unbelievers will cheer.

BUILDING A GODLY CULTURE

How can this be done? The Westminster Larger Catechism provides at least two starting points:

1. Expressing Love and Tenderness

Leadership, at its core, is not about authority or titles but about influence shaped by Christlike character. True leaders model the love and tenderness of Christ, demonstrating sincere care for the well-being of others. This is not merely passive kindness but active engagement with the needs, struggles, and burdens of those around us. As Christians, we are uniquely equipped to reflect the compassionate heart of our Heavenly Father, who is “compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness” (Psalm 103:8). By embodying these qualities, we do more than improve individual lives—we begin the profound work of rebuilding a culture fragmented by godless ideologies. Leadership rooted in Christ stands in stark contrast to the cold, utilitarian approaches that have left society hollow. Through such leadership, we can restore the very fabric of our communities and ultimately guide our culture back to a foundation that honors God.

2. Inspiring Willingness and Cheerfulness

When leaders express love and tenderness, they do more than fulfill their duties—they inspire others to rise to the occasion with willing and cheerful hearts. Godly leadership creates an environment where people are motivated not by fear or obligation but by a shared sense of purpose and joy. In every sphere—whether in the home, workplace, or church—leaders who are genuinely invested in those they lead cultivate a culture of enthusiasm, dedication, and excellence. This isn’t about merely getting tasks done; it’s about inspiring others to embrace their roles with a sense of calling and joy. When Christians lead in this way, we not only fulfill our own responsibilities but also empower others to fulfill theirs in a manner that glorifies God. This kind of leadership is transformative, creating communities where Christ is not only seen but experienced, leading to a broader cultural renewal that touches even the hearts of unbelievers. While this doesn’t mean salvation for them, it does mean that unbelievers will recognize that God is at work among His people, a concept deeply rooted in Scripture (1 Peter 2:12).

But this transformative leadership is not something we can merely admire from a distance—it demands action, reflection, and, where necessary, repentance. If we are to lead as Christ did, we must first examine our hearts and lives to ensure we live up to this high calling.

A CALL TO REPENTANCE

As we stand on the brink of a culture in desperate need of godly leadership, we must first look inward and ask: Are we embodying the leadership qualities Christ has called us to? Have we truly embraced our leadership roles, or have we allowed fear, complacency, or worldly distractions to sideline us? The time for passive Christianity is over; now is the moment for action, commitment, and—where necessary—repentance.

In the Workplace: Have you been content with mediocrity, avoiding leadership roles to escape responsibility? By shying away from these opportunities, you miss the chance to shine for Christ in places that desperately need to see Him. Imagine the impact if you stepped up, leading with integrity, compassion, and a commitment to righteousness. Your leadership could transform your workplace into a beacon of Christian values.

In Public Office: Have you been silent when your voice was needed? Our nation desperately needs leaders who will govern with justice, mercy, and truth. If you have avoided the political sphere out of fear or a sense of inadequacy, consider this a call to step forward. We need Christians in public office who will uphold godly principles and advocate for the well-being of all.

In the Home: Parents, what culture are you cultivating within your family? Are you actively teaching your children to honor God and respect authority, or have worldly influences crept in? Your home is the first place where godly leadership must be exercised. If you have neglected this responsibility, it is time to repent and recommit to leading your family in a way that reflects Christ’s authority.

In Marriage: Husbands and wives, does your marriage embody the leadership of Christ and the submission of His Church? Have you honored your spouse with love, respect, and selflessness, or have selfishness and strife taken root? Strong marriages are the foundation of strong families and communities. If your marriage has fallen short, seek God’s forgiveness and strive to model Christ in your relationship.

In Discipleship: Finally, are you taking the call to disciple others seriously? Have you invested in the spiritual growth of those around you, or have you focused solely on your walk with Christ? Discipleship is not optional—it is a command. If you have neglected this vital aspect of Christian leadership, it is time to change. Step into the role of mentor, guide, and spiritual father or mother to those who need it.

Now is the time to act. God has placed each of us in positions of influence, no matter how small they may seem, to lead and to shine His light in a dark world, to live out His plans and priorities, and to bring His truth into a world of lies. We all get to play a part, not by hiding, but by leading.

Let us repent where we have fallen short of this. Let us seek God’s forgiveness and strength to fulfill our calling, living publicly for Him with renewed vigor and determination. Brothers and sisters, embrace the mantle of leadership that God has placed upon you, and let us work together to rebuild this culture, God willing, so that it will honor Him in every sector and sphere.

May the Lord bless us with the wisdom, courage, and grace to lead well, to His glory, and to the advancement of His Kingdom. Amen.

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On August 15, 2024 By In Discipleship, Family and Children, Men, Wisdom

Encouraging Fathers

Fatherlessness is at epidemic proportions in our nation and wreaking havoc on the health of our society. There are many reasons for fathers’ absence, some legitimate and many illegitimate consequences of sin. The absence is felt. Based on the US Census Bureau statistics, 43% of children in the US live in fatherless homes. Their absence is devastating. Ninety percent of runaway and homeless children are from fatherless homes. Seventy percent of minors housed in state facilities are from fatherless homes. Thirty-nine percent of inmates in jail are from fatherless homes. The rate of abuse in single-parent homes is almost double that in two-parent homes.[1] There is more than a superficial correlation in those numbers. Lack of fathers is the cause of many of these societal maladies.

Being present as fathers is only half the battle. The other half is being proactive in nurturing and disciplining children. God’s command to Israel in Deuteronomy 6 assumes the father’s presence with his children and commands his diligence in their instruction. Fathers must teach God’s law to their children “when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Dt 6:7). As a father, you are involved in your children’s lives.

When addressing the new creation family, Paul addresses fathers directly in Colossians 3:21: “Fathers, do not provoke your children so that they do not become discouraged.” While the mother is to receive due honor from children and has responsibility for raising children, Paul homes in on fathers. The word “parents” was available to Paul because he used it in 3:20. The fathers are ultimately responsible for how the children are disciplined. (Three of the commands in the section are focused on men as heads of their house: husbands, fathers, and masters. Men have the greatest responsibility for the health of the home.)

Discipline must never be undertaken to “ break the spirit” of children. The word translated as “discouraged” has at its root the idea of a child’s vital force, spirit, desire, drive, or passion. His drives, corrupted by sin, are to be corrected and redirected toward that which is good, true, and beautiful. He is not to be squashed but shaped.

How can fathers discourage their children?

1. Never praise your child. Always tell him what he could have done better without praising his effort or accomplishments.

2. Lead only by command and not by example. Demand discipline and obedience from your children while you are undisciplined and refuse to submit to your authorities.

3. Be inconsistent in discipline. Don’t enforce rules one day and come down on your children like a ton of bricks the next for breaking the rules. They will never know where the boundaries are and will be living in a psychological earthquake.

4. Refuse to discipline your children. Teach them by lack of discipline that there are no boundaries, that they can do anything without consequence, and that they should be able to have whatever they want when they want it. They will have a lousy relationship with reality and be anxious, angry children who grow to be anxious, angry adults.

5. Make unreasonable demands. Expect more of them than they are capable of doing for their age and skill level. Don’t take into consideration their unique personalities and desires, forcing them to become something that they aren’t. Be a perfectionist, always chasing the elusive standard that not even you can attain.

6. Don’t allow your child to mature. As he grows older, tighten your grip on him, never giving him any freedom to fail or succeed. Never let him take risks. Micromanage his life so that he doesn’t learn how to make decisions for himself and becomes a helpless adult (who you are probably hoping will depend on you to fulfill your need to be needed).

7. Never show affection, laugh with, or play with your children. Teach him that God never allows you to lighten up but that you must carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. You must take yourself with utmost seriousness at all times.

If you do these things, you will break the spirit of your children. Your goal is to shape your child into a joyful child. A joyful child is one who knows that he is loved, has learned contentment through accepting his and others’ limitations, is freed to be all that God created him to be, and matures so that he can make decisions without being unhealthily dependent upon others.

Fathers, don’t discourage your children.

[1] https://parentspluskids.com/blog/fatherhood-statistics-trends-and-analysis

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