One of the great difficulties for many of us is that we have friends or family members that are non-Christians. How do we practice hospitality towards those who are not believers? Each situation is different and will require wisdom, but here are some basic guidelines. If you have questions about a specific situation then should to talk to your elders. In this post I am addressing inviting a pagan for dinner. I do not address a more complicated issue: should I allow a non-Christian to live with me (for example a wayward cousin who needs a place to stay) for a period of time.
First, showing hospitality to non-believers can be a good way to evangelize. There is no better picture of the gospel than eating and drinking with sinners. One of the best ways to show people Christ is by inviting them into your home and letting them see your daily living. This would include prayer before meals, family worship, discipline of the children, love for your wife, etc. In other words, if someone comes in to your home for an evening they should see Christ preached through the way you live. But do not use the meal as a way to “spring the gospel on them.” If you invite them over for a meal, invite them over for a meal. Don’t tell them it is a meal and the try to slide the gospel in the backdoor. That way they know what they are getting into and don’t feel duped. Of course, if the opportunity arises to talk about Christ take it. And you could always tell a non-Christian you are inviting them over to tell them about Jesus. My point is be up front. Don’t present it is a casual dinner and then put on the pressure.
Second, you should not generally invite someone into your home who claims to be a Christian, but is living in open unrepentant sin. Do not sit down at a table, pretending the person is a brother or sister in Christ, while they are engaged in high handed rebellion against God. I Corinthians 5:9-11 makes this clear. It can be difficult to determine how far to take these verses, especially in an age where churches do not practice discipline. It is possible for someone to be in full communion at your local church and be living in complete rebellion against God. If you have questions I would encourage you to talk to your elders.
Third, you should be careful when inviting over non-Christians who are promoting their non-Christian worldviews, especially if you have children. I would invite over a sexually immoral non-Christian. However, I would not invite over a sexually immoral non-Christian who wanted me to join them in their sexual immorality or worse was interested in getting my children to see things their way. Usually, this is not the case. Most non-Christians you invite into your home will know you are a Christian and will respect that. However, as our society becomes more anti-Christian do not be surprised if non-Christians try to persuade your children or you on your own turf. If the person is recruiting for the world, you should be cautious in inviting them in.
Fourth, you should be cautious about going and eating dinner with non-Christians in their home. When you go into someone’s house you are subject to their rules. There may be occasions where this is okay. But I would normally advise against it, especially if the pagan is recruiting for the world. Try to invite them into your home or go to dinner with them at a restaurant instead. The exception here is if they are interested in Christ and invite you into their home to learn more. I think many examples we have of Christ going into the homes of sinners falls in this category. They wanted to hear from Jesus. If people want to know more about who you serve by all means go to their home and tell them.
Finally, the priority in your hospitality should be Christians. These two verses make that point: John 13:35 and Galatians 6:10. If you can minister to non-believers you should. And don’t make the verses above an excuse to avoid non-believers. But if you have to make a choice, and some of us do, then invite over Christians. As John 13:35 points out, this is evangelism.<>
