We are living in an ever-increasing fragile world. Many in our society are not tough-minded or self-disciplined anymore. They are slaves to the comforts of their own minds and desires. The origins of this problem are many. Parents have coddled children, not allowing them to face any sort of discomfort, always rescuing them immediately when they express pain, giving into their every desire, and certainly not painfully challenging their children in any way. They let them fall to pieces and are “understanding,” and, consequently, they never learn any sort of mental toughness. If someone disagrees with them, challenges their view of the world, they become “Karens,” yelling and screaming and seeking to eliminate the one who is making them uncomfortable, making the entire world a safe space. Institutions have kowtowed to these adult-sized infants and institutionalized this mental bubble-wrap. These undisciplined minds can’t face the challenges of the real world. Because of this, they will eventually be crushed, whether through the weight of reality that they can’t control, or they will implode because they are ticking timebombs of fear, anger, and discontentment. Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt have documented and evaluated these phenomena in their book The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up A Generation For Failure.
God has called us, in one sense, to be anti-fragile, which means that he wants us to grow up and be able to handle the challenges he puts before us. If we are to accomplish the mission of dominion, he has given us, there must be some degree of anti-fragility that comes through self-discipline.
Self-discipline is the ability to master one’s mind so as to direct one’s desires, will, emotions, and body to accomplish a mission (or long-term goals if you wish). Solomon’s description of self-discipline or self-control is quite picturesque in his Hebrew phrase. In Proverbs 25.28 we read, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.” The term “self-control” is the translation of a phrase that literally reads “hindrance of spirit/breath.” Self-control is the ability to resist your spirit. It is like holding your breath, resisting the urge to breathe when it is necessary to do so; for instance, when you are underwater. You control your thinking, will, desires, and body to do what is called for in the situation. This is the ability to subdue the violent anger that wants to attack someone else verbally or physically. You are able to resist lethargy that keeps you from fulfilling your responsibilities. Appetites don’t dominate you so that you lose focus on everything else, even when your mind and body are screaming at you. Self-control is the taming of your impulses because you have a greater purpose to accomplish than immediate gratification. Indeed, immediate gratification may be the enemy of your greater purpose.
Self-control is the fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5.22-23), and the Spirit has ordained means through which this fruit is cultivated. Those means involve some sort of stress or pain. We cannot grow without resistance. No pain. No gain., Whether we are talking about our muscles or our minds, we need some degree of stress to grow. They work with the same basic principles and, most of the time, in consort with one another. That is, stressing the body can train the mind to endure greater hardships than previously believed possible. Stressing the mind may also train the body. This principle is embedded in Solomon’s exhortations about the rod driving foolishness from the heart (Pr 22.15) and blows that wound cleansing away evil (Pr 20.30). We are integrated creatures, mind/heart and body. Each aspect of our being interacts with every other aspect of our being so that what we do in one area of our persons affects every other area.
Stressors are needed to maintain strength and grow. Gravity is a stressor, constantly resisting us. As we fight it and walk, we maintain strength. When we don’t fight it, we atrophy. If you want your muscles to grow, they must be stressed so that they endured controlled, small tearing that will stimulate growth and strength. Your mind works with the same principle. You grow mentally tough, able to control your impulses when you face and deal with stressors appropriately.
Becoming self-disciplined means training yourself through applying stress and embracing appropriate pressure that comes from your responsibilities. In order to persevere through this, you must have an aim, a purpose for which you are enduring this pain. For Jesus, it was the joy that was set before him that he endured the cross, despising the shame (Heb 12.3). What is your purpose? What are you trying to accomplish? That will be your inspiration when you are ready to quit.
Having an aim isn’t all that is required in growing in self-discipline. You need a process, smaller, daily steps that move you little by little to the goal. You evaluate your process along the way, judging its continued effectiveness, adjust accordingly, but then stick with the process. The plan must be implemented. Developing plans, spreadsheets, and chatting it up with your friends may all be very exciting at first, but self-discipline is developed in the daily grind of life, not throwing it out there on social media to see how many “likes” you get.
I mentioned this in a previous article concerning discipline: there is no trick, no hack, no magic pill, no sudden experience of the Spirit that will make you self-disciplined. The Spirit gives you everything you need, but it will take time and effort, employing the gifts that he has given you. But you must do the work. As you do the work and become better able to handle more and more stressors or challenges, you are not only taking dominion of that bit of creation that is yourself, but you are also better equipped to take dominion in other areas of life.
Apply your heart to discipline (Pr 23.12).
