MENU

Parenting
Tag Archive

On August 30, 2017 By In Podcast

Episode 12: Clergy Self-Care

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 12:41 — 7.3MB)

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

In this episode of the Kuyperian Commentary Podcast, Pastor Uri Brito and the Rev. Canon Dr. Tony Baron discuss the idea of clergy self-care and pastoral life satisfaction.

“We ought to love the church,” says Uri Brito. “But never at the expense of our families.”

Uri Brito is the Senior Pastor of Providence Church in Pensacola, Fl. He is married to Melinda and is the father of four children. He is the editor of The Church-Friendly Family, author of The Trinitarian Father, and a certified counselor through the Association of Biblical Counselors (ABC). Uri is also the founder and a contributor to Kuyperian Commentary and a board member of the Theopolis Institute. Rev. Brito received his M.Div from Reformed Theological Seminary and is currently a doctoral student at RTS.

The Rev. Canon Dr. Tony Baron shares on what constitutes a healthy and satisfying life and how to approach each of them. You can watch his entire video series on pastoral life satisfaction here.

Tony Baron is a psychologist, theologian, professor and author— he has successfully planted two churches, developed a Christian Healing Center, and started two consulting firms based on the concept of servant leadership. Dr. Tony Baron serves as the Director of Azusa Pacific Seminary in San Diego and Associate Professor of Christian Leadership and Spiritual Formation at Azusa Pacific University. Baron is also founding president of Servant Leadership Institute, a resource think tank on leadership development and transformation, and has shared his expertise with churches and denominations worldwide. Ordained as an Anglican priest and serving as Canon for Clergy and Congregational Care for the Anglican Church in North America under Bishop Todd Hunter, Baron has a great love for current and future pastors who seek to live, learn, and love the Christ-life within the Church.

Read more

On December 20, 2016 By In Theology, Worship

10 Questions Preachers Should Ask Before Sunday Morning

I have been a pastor for almost a decade. I spend between 12-15 hours each week thinking, researching, and writing before I deliver the first words in my Sunday sermon.a The process of writing my sermon goes through a lengthy journey each week. I contemplate several questions from Monday to Friday which force me to edit and re-edit my manuscript. There is no perfect sermon, but a sermon that goes through revisions and asks import questions has a much better chance of communicating with clarity than the self-assured preacher who engages the sermonic task with nothing more than academic lenses.

I have compiled a list of ten questions I ask myself each week at some point or another.

Question #1: Is this language clear? When you write a manuscript ( as I do) you have an opportunity to carefully consider the language you use. I make a habit of reading my sermon out loud which leads me to realize that certain phrases do not convey the idea clearly. A well-written sermon does not necessarily mean a well-delivered sermon. Reading my sermons out loud causes me to re-write and look for other ways to explain a concept or application more clearly.

Question #2: Is there a need to use high theological language in this sermon? Seminary graduates are often tempted to use the best of their training in the wrong environment. People are not listening to you to hear your theological acumen. I am well aware that some in the congregation would be entirely comfortable with words like perichoresis and Arianism. I am not opposed to using high theological discourse. Words like atonement, justification, sanctification are biblical and need to be defined. But extra-biblical terms and ideologies should be employed sparingly. Much of this can be dealt in a Sunday School class or other environments. High theological language needs to be used with great care, and I think it needs to be avoided as much as possible in the Sunday sermon.

Question #3: Can I make this sermon even shorter? As I read my sermons each week, I find that I can cut a paragraph or two easily, or depending on how long you preach, perhaps an entire page. This is an important lesson for new preachers: not everything needs to be said. Shorter sermons–which I strongly advocateb–force you to say what’s important and keep some of your research in the footnotes where it belongs. Preachers need to learn what to prioritize in a sermon so as not to unload unnecessary information on their parishioners. (more…)

  1. Thankful for great interactions before this article was published. It helped sharpen my points  (back)
  2. By this I mean sermons no longer than 30 minutes  (back)

Read more

On June 10, 2016 By In Culture, Family and Children

Mutilating A Daughter

mosque graphhic

Illustration by Laurel Lynn Leake

About a month ago, This American Life ran a story that gave me the biggest lump in my throat and painful knots in my stomach. It was the story of a young woman who discovered she was the victim of female genital mutilation.

(more…)

Read more

The Walls Children

On June 8, 2016 By In Books, Culture, Family and Children

The Glass Castle: How to “Skedaddle” Through Life

Jeannette Walls

Jeannette Walls

 

The Glass Castle is the compelling memoir of Jeannette Walls. Written in 2005, The Glass Castle follows the various exploits of a family’s drunken father and free-spirit mother. As of last month, Lionsgate began filming a Hollywood adaption of the book. The movie is anticipated for release in 2017 featuring Brie Larson (who also starred in the critically acclaimed “Room” in 2015), Naomi Watts, and Woody Harrelson. The book exposes the cultural challenges of the post-modern family and the vulnerabilities of a family outside of the Christian Church. The morality of “independence” is challenged as the memoir painfully connects “free spirit” parenting to neglected, abused, and resentful children. (more…)

Read more

On March 4, 2016 By In Politics, Theology

Andy Stanley’s Big Frustration with Little Churches

Post by Uri Brito and Dustin Messer

In a recent sermon, Andy Stanley made the staggering observation:

When I hear adults say, ‘Well I don’t like a big church, I like about 200, I want to be able to know everybody,’ I say, ‘You are so stinking selfish. You care nothing about the next generation. All you care about is you and your five friends. You don’t care about your kids…anybody else’s kids.’ You’re like, ‘What’s up?’ I’m saying if you don’t go to a church large enough where you can have enough Middle Schoolers and High Schoolers to separate them so they can have small groups and grow up the local church, you are a selfish adult. Get over it. Find yourself a big old church where your kids can connect with a bunch of people and grow up and love the local church.

Stanley has since apologized in the way modern preachers apologize: via twitter. 

While we take him at his word (or tweet, as the case may be), this was not simply a slip of the tongue. While he may be sorry for the way in which he communicated the message—even sorry for a specific sentiment in the message—one can’t fake the sort of passion exhibited by Stanley as he described his antipathy for small churches. Again, we believe he’s genuinely sorry we’re offended, but Stanley clearly has heartfelt feelings about non-megachurches (microchurches?) that didn’t begin or end with the sermon in question. Below are three reasons we feel such a sentiment is harmful: (more…)

Read more

On April 15, 2015 By In Family and Children

Honor God with Your Body

Guest Post Lindsey Tollefson

I am making a new rule in our house! We are actually kind of skimpy on the house rules.  I try very hard to keep things simple: love God, love others, and be joyful.  It’s not complicated to avoid discipline here.  But I have found myself repeating this new rule over and over again: honor God with your body.  I suppose it falls right under the rule to love God, but when I phrase it this way it keeps our correction short and easy and obvious.

No spitting at your sister!
Why did God give you a tongue?
Answer: To taste delicious food.

Honor God with your tongue. Honor God with your body.

No hitting your sister!
Why did God give you hands?
Answer: To help others.
Honor God with your hands.  Honor God with your body

No stomping your feet!
Why did God give you feet?
Answer: To walk and run and dance
Honor God with your feet

No yelling!
Why did God give you a voice?
Answer: To sing and praise Him
Honor God with your voice.

It’s really all the same rule.  Isn’t that the way rules should be?  We are just using them to maintain a certain standard, the standard of serving Christ.  I want my children to think of their bodies as gifts, as temples of the Holy Spirit, that they have been given responsibility for, to use to honor God.  At their age, honoring God with their body means things like no spitting, no yelling, no fits, no hitting, no pulling hair, no sitting on each other.  I want them to make the connection (and it is an easy one) that their bodies are given to them for a purpose and it is very possible and very easy to misuse our bodies.

Of course the best way for them to learn this is for them to see me using my body to honor God, using my hands to serve instead of take, my energy to give instead of for my own hobbies, my voice to encourage and sing and tell stories instead of criticize, my imagination to create things for them instead of worrying about them.

Why did God give me a body?  What does He want me to do with it? Why a brain and an imagination and a back and a stomach and teeth and a tongue and feet and hands and hips and why are my arms so strangely long?  It doesn’t take much work to think of all the ways I can honor God with those things, instead of thinking of those things as ways to serve myself or of trying to preserve my body like a porcelain doll.  God gave it to me to use and to use up until it is gone.  This new rule is just as much for me as it is for the children.  We are all learning to honor God with our bodies.

Originally published at Theopolis

Read more

I Belong to God: A Catechism for Covenant Children by Rich Lusk

On January 9, 2015 By In Scribblings

New Book from Rich Lusk: “I Belong to God: A Catechism for Covenant Children”

Our friends at Athanasius Press have announced the publication of an exciting new catechism for our covenant children. Athanasius Press describes the new book as:

“The real heart of catechesis is to form in our children a covenantal identity, a sense of belonging to God and to the church. Our children need to be taught who they are in Christ so they can live faithfully in the church, family, and world. We must train our children in such a way that their whole lives will be a grand Amen to their baptisms.”

While many children’s catechismal tools exist, Lusk’s work is certainly of a wider, more “catholic” breadth, while remaining digestible for our youngest children. Notably, Pastor Lusk emphasizes a clear presuppositional message: “God has saved you; now be loyal to him.”

Pastor Lusk adds, “When we tell our children that God is their Father and that Jesus died for their sins, we are telling them something true and helping them internalize their covenant identity.”

Rich Lusk is the father of four and the Pastor of Trinity Presbyterian Church in Birmingham, Alabama.  He is the author of Paedofaith: A Primer on the Mystery of Infant Salvation and a Handbook for Covenant Parents, as well as a contributing author to The Church Friendly Family, The Federal Vision, and The Case for Covenant Communion.

Buy the book from Athanasius Press for just $5 – Click here.

I Belong to God: A Catechism for Covenant Children by Rich Lusk

I Belong to God: A Catechism for Covenant Children
by Rich Lusk

Read more

On September 15, 2014 By In Family and Children

The Birds, the Bees, and the Eleven-Year-Old Trip

My children know that when they reach their eleventh birthday, they get to go on an overnight trip with Papa, i.e., me. They get to pick where we go and what we do for that entire day (within reason, of course–in other words, Disney world is not an option.) We have a grand time doing the things that they enjoy, and as a dad, I rejoice in the opportunity to focus on them entirely for the weekend. However, the primary motivation for the special trip centers around getting them alone for several hours in order to begin more detailed discussions about those ‘birds and bees’ that can be so uncomfortable to discuss. The goal is not to talk about it all, all at once, but to invite them to engage in a conversation with their dad. My hope is that this conversation will continue through their teen years and up until they say, “I do,” before God, their minister, and the gathered witnesses, and the chosen, complimentary mate says, “I do,” in response. (more…)

Read more

On August 13, 2013 By In Family and Children

Worship and the Act of Parental Discipline

Liturgy is grounded in acts. Every act leads to another act. In liturgy, skipping to a meal before being cleansed (washing of hands) is improper. Liturgy requires table manners. The liturgy shapes us. In particular, the Lord’s Day liturgy has a way of forming us into obedient children of the Most High God. The goal of biblical liturgy is to make us vessels of the gospel as parents and children. Liturgy is order and decency (I Cor. 14:40). This is one reason structure is so crucial to the Church, and more to the point this is one reason structure is so significant to the life of the home. A home that lacks structure is a home that lacks a well-thought out liturgy. I am not advocating perfection. Any parent who has been a parent for any amount of time knows that there is always work to be done. Parenting does not work within a 9-5 boundary marker.

This is why it is important to grasp the nature of liturgy. Its nature will indicate its purpose. The liturgy of the people of God is a holy one, and those principles which are generally fixed as we gather as God’s family are principles that can be applied to our homes also.

Worship establishes patterns of behavior. In general categories, we could summarize the nature of worship in three acts: First, we are a) cleansed, then we are b) taught, and finally we are c) commissioned. This is a synopsis of a covenant renewal model. When you apply this pattern to child-rearing you realize it is a sober method of disciplining.

First, children need to understand that they have sinned against God (Ps. 51) and against one another. Children need to confess and be cleansed. Children’s ability to understand sin is far greater than we can imagine. Part of this cleansing process is the presupposition that all sin is communal. No sin affects only self.  Children are born and baptized for the sake of incorporation. It is the individualist that prefers to see his sins as isolated. But sin in the home hurts the shalom of the house. When sins are individualized parents develop a faulty view of discipline. When a daughter sins, a father’s response should not be to simply discipline her and let it go, rather it is incumbent upon him to explain to the child (briefly) how her sins affect those around her; how her selfishness provided a poor example for her siblings; how her ungratefulness trivializes the generosity of God to our family. When a child sins he needs to see his acts in the context of his community. His sins are not merely exposed, but explained in a broader context than himself.

Secondly, the task of parenting then follows in teaching. This is didactic parenting. All parents are home-schoolers in one way or another. I am assuming here the role of nurturing and building up as part of the instruction.  As I mentioned above the act of discipline needs to be followed up by some explanation. Discipline and words of instruction need to go hand in hand, especially when dealing with little ones. The instruction needs to be age appropriate and biblically saturated, even if the verse is not quoted verbatim. Teaching needs to be done calmly and with great patience. The impatience of our children often reveals our impatience. In the same manner, our impatience in instructing our children reveals our impatience to instruct others as well. If we are not capable of explaining the consequences of sins to the least of them how will we explain the consequences of sin to those who are more maturely aware of them?

Under this training, parents need to be also aware of the need to communicate love to our children. The Christian faith is wholistic. If we end simply in the didactic, we may be training little machines to respond appropriately. But though it is often assumed under nurture, parents sometimes forget that physical affection is needed. A I wrote in The Trinitarian Father, children must feel our presence as well as our affection towards them. Jesus comforted his disciples when he commissioned them. He told them that his authority is sufficient for them to fulfill their task. Parents must hug, kiss, and reveal to their children that parental training includes more than mere words, but actions; actions that will leave a lasting impression as they are commissioned to fulfill their call day by day.

Finally, the parenting liturgy concludes with commission. The father/mother after having cleansed and instructed the child, the parent now sends the child out to go and sin no more. This commission stems from the previous steps. Commissioning is the call to be reconciled to the world, beginning with our households. When Jesus grew he grew in favor with God and man. When our sins are confessed we are not only made right with God, but we are called to be reconciled with others. Children are also called to be ambassadors of peace.

Parenting is always liturgical. A make-up-as-you-go liturgy will cause certain effects on the liturgy of the home. I argue that every child needs structure. This is not a never-adjusting structure, but a foundational structure. Liturgy is nothing more than the structure of life.<>siteпродвижение через интернет

Read more

On August 8, 2013 By In Family and Children

Are You Raising Fat-Souled Children? Part I

TR 1

I am not sure where I picked up the idea of fat-souled children. It could have been Angels in the Architecture.  It may have been an article in one of the obscure periodicals I read. But the image has stuck with me. Just to clarify, the image in my mind is not some fat, lazy, bum living in his mother’s basement playing Halo. The image in my mind is one of contentedness and delight: My father napping in his easy chair after Thanksgiving dinner. My wife and I slipping into bed tired, but content after a hard day’s work. Sipping beer on the back deck after chopping fire wood. Finishing a large project. Spending the Lord’s Day with God’s people. Reading Beowulf in the dead of winter. These are a few of the images that come to my mind when I think of fat souls. My next two articles list ways I think we can raise fat-souled children, children who are content, who take joy in all God has done, who are not petty and dour.

The opposite of fat-souled would be lean, gaunt, under nourished, dying.   When people see me do they see a  soul  overflowing with God’s goodness? Or do they see a dead withered tree that has no sap and no fruit?  Many Christians have entered into the abundant life our Lord speaks of and yet their souls are barren, dead, joyless places.  With this list I hope to give us and our children a path out of that type of life and into a place of fatness.

There are some points to make before I get to the list.

First, you cannot have fat-souled children if you are not growing a fat soul yourself. A fat-souled person loves God, delights in God, and delights in the world God has made and the people he has put here. If you are not working to become that type of person then your children will not look like that either. All instruction concerning children begins with “parent teach  thyself.” This one is no exception.

Second, these are not instructions for making a machine that churns out fat-souled children. In other words, it is possible to do many of these things and still not have fat-souled children. We can take these things and use them to beat our children, go through the motions or do these things without love and joy.  As in all of life, there are no automatics. But the things I list below, done in faith and love for God and neighbor, can help your children not have withered souls.

Third, I am not an expert at most of these things. Some I do better than others. Some I am still terrible at. Some I am learning to do better. I fall short of this many days and my children do as well. I make no claim to mastery of these points. The list is a sermon to myself and a target to aim at.

So without further ado, on to the list. The first four are the most important. After that I just put them down as they came to my mind.

  • Pray that God would make your children fat-souled. Pray that they would not be petty or shallow or self-absorbed.  It is true that God alone works on the heart, thus prayer is essential.
  • Teach your children they are sinners. Then teach them that all of their sins are forgiven in Christ. Nothing, absolutely nothing, frees the soul like Jesus. Nothing frees the mind from anxiety like God’s goodness shown to us at the cross. Without Jesus our souls are lean indeed.
  • Teach your children about God’s character. Tell them about his holiness, his wrath, his mercy, his providence, his kindness, his chastening rod, etc. Teach them through the study of Scripture, but also teach them through your life.
  • Teach your children to worship with joy and gladness of heart. This includes the private worship of reading the Scriptures and prayer. But I am especially talking about corporate worship. Fat-souled children need worship that feeds them. They need to know they are meeting with God and his people every Sunday. They need to know that they were made to bow before God.
  • Teach your children to enjoy hard work. Hard work makes us fat-souled. Both blisters on our hands from raking leaves and weariness of mind from doing research can help make fat souls. Do hard work together. Your children should learn to work by themselves. But they should also learn to work as a family. Build something together. Make a meal together for someone who needs it. Improve your house by laboring together on a project. Even if the little ones cannot help much let them participate where they can. Make your home a place of productivity and not just consumption.
  • Teach your children to love all types of people. Show them how to love babies and the elderly  and everyone in between. Teach them how to love the quirks in their brothers and sister and to delight in the differences between families. Look that family loves to play the accordion.  That man wears his ties too short every Sunday. Too often we disdain differences instead of rejoicing in them. Find ways to help your children meet other nationalities and people from other areas of the country (except California :-)).   There are wicked people out there. There are stupid people out there. But do not raise your children to be suspicious of everyone they meet or to be uncomfortable around different people.  Teach your children that people are fascinating. And that means you, as the parent, must delight and rejoice in your child’s quirks. You must find them fascinating.

To be continued…<>разместить рекламу в интернете

Read more