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On April 7, 2020 By In Family and Children

How Can We Cultivate Calmness in Motherhood?

A Guest Post by Danielle Poorman

There are many reasons why mothers struggle with their emotions. We live in an age where mothers are always being compared to one another and expectations to uphold the “perfect standards” are high. This is dangerous. When we as mothers submit ourselves to these comparisons and expectations, it leaves us vulnerable to dangerous emotions such as anger, anxiety, and depression.

Every mother I know wishes for more tranquility in her life as well as her family’s. So, how can mothers cultivate calmness amidst the distractions and uncertainty of everyday life?

Mothers have a high calling from our Heavenly Father. This goes well beyond the daily tasks that occur everyday inside and outside of the home. In the midst of everyday life and seasons of uncertainty, it’s very easy to lose sight of our purpose and calling.

God has uniquely called us to the amazing journey of motherhood. Your calling and your purpose are to glorify God. In some cases that may look like caring for the little people in your home to the best of your ability as you train them up in virtue. In other scenarios glorifying God as a mother may look different from your neighbor or from a mother who’s more seasoned in her journey. God has a divine and unique plan for each one of us as mothers but the end goal is His glory. 

If we can learn the value of cultivating calmness, those practices and mindset will carry us through EVERY season. In the end, when we experience seasons of uncertainty and life turns upside down, our spirits will feel less chaotic. 

How Can You Cultivate Clarity When It Doesn’t Come Naturally?

Some mothers, such as myself, find it difficult to find clarity in certain seasons of life. This is particularly true when schedules are busier, sickness occurs, or we’re in a long season of character training with our children. Cultivating clarity and calmness does not come naturally in my life. It’s a process, but one that is worth the effort. 

Remembering that cultivation is a process is necessary. Regardless of where you are in your motherhood journey, remember back to when you were just navigating the waters of being a new mom. At each stage of your child’s development, you had to learn and navigate new territory over again. The training process seemed long but each seed you planted began to grow contributing to your “budding plants.”

One helpful way to cultivate calmness is –if at all possible–to find times to be alone! That can be tough at times with little ones who are so needy but this is essential to gain clarity. Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to get alone with God. 

Matthew 14:23  – “After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.”

Jesus sets the ultimate example for us in passages such as this one. He removes himself from distractions and gets alone. It’s important for us as mothers that we follow the same example. 

Even a few quality minutes alone in prayer each day will intentionally cultivate clarity in your calling and calmness in your spirit. Cultivating calmness takes time but it is an intentional process.

Mothers experience chaos in various forms. There are times when chaos is unavoidable. Part of cultivating calmness includes taking a step back and analyzing the areas where chaos is causing restlessness. 

Ask yourself, “What area am I striving for perfection where I need to relinquish control?” “Am I desiring peace in the process of motherhood?” We can often feel a lack of calmness when we refuse to allow God to lead.  Acknowledging our weakness and accepting God’s strength gives us the freedom to put on the calmness He wants to give.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, Paul says:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

What a beautiful reminder that God does not expect perfection for us as mothers. In fact, He desires that we rejoice in our weaknesses so that we can fully accept His grace. When we as mothers rest in the power of Christ, we take the first step to cultivating calmness in motherhood. 

Danielle Poorman is a homeschooling mother of two children. She blogs at Danielle Hope where she encourages other mothers to find value and virtue in motherhood. 

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On December 6, 2019 By In Counseling/Piety, Wisdom

The Mother of All Virtues

I have had the privilege over the years to teach literature to high school students. I particularly enjoy teaching medieval literature. I come away from those years far richer than I come into them. One of the works we always read is the Song of Roland, a French ballad of chivalry written probably around the First Crusade. It provides a wonderful gateway into discussing the ideal of chivalry, where it succeeded and failed during the Middle Ages, and why it matters today.

Chivalry at its basic level is simply a code of life that defines the proper actions and responsibilities toward friend and foe, man and woman, rich and poor. It includes areas such as society, manners, justice, war. The Medieval concept of chivalry, at least in its best moments, attempted to take those virtues that are objectively defined by the revealed character of God and apply them to the various circumstances and relationships of life. 

If you think back to the knightly code of medieval Europe, it would have been of the utmost importance not only for you to live by a certain code, but also to be able to rely upon those around you to live by the same code. Friendship was built upon a mutual understanding of loyalty and trust. Enemies knew the rules of engagement on the battlefield. Women knew what a gentleman looked like. Men knew what a lady looked like. Not that there weren’t imposters running about, but they were imposters because there was a standard to deceptively imitate. 

The cultural prophets of the past few generations have proclaimed that chivalry is dead. I don’t exactly know what form of chivalry has been killed, and I’m not interested in simply resurrecting some structure of the past. We do not necessarily need a well-developed chivalric code. But as Christians, we need to seriously consider again what a virtuous society looks like. 

While virtue may deal with personal character, it is expressed communally. Virtue creates the fabric of life together. Therefore, several early medieval writers, such as the venerable Bede, called discretion the “mother of all the virtues.” Such discretion involves judging the proper expression of the other virtues within a particular context that maintains the integrity of those other virtues. Let me explain.

For a person to act a certain way in one situation would be courageous. To act in a similar manner in another situation would be brash and impulsive. For a person to extend mercy in one case would be truly merciful. To extend what appears to be mercy in another case would be foolhardy, condoning, or even cowardly. It is discretion that enables us to know the difference.

Think of all the ways we are called to honor others. I honor my wife in a way that is unique to how I honor all other women. The way I honor my mother now at 46 looks different than how I was called to honor her when I was 5, 12, or even 18.  Discretion allows the virtue of honor to extend beyond good intentions to actually bestowing it tangibly upon another.  

What does it look like to love my enemies, not in the abstract, but on the various battlefields of life? There are battlefields of nations, battlefields of ideas, battlefields of truth, and battlefields of personal conflict. All require a particular response in order to express the virtue of love. When does patience become passivity? When does honest speech become a spark that sets forests ablaze?  

Because of the great rebellion of Adam and his descendents against God, we live in a world that by its very nature spoils virtue and subverts social norms. A world that was created for unity and harmony has the seeds of autonomy and discord permeating the soil of men’s hearts. The medievals understood the fallenness of man and felt the need for an explicit, societal code of honor. In contrast, many today are content to emphasize vague principles of love and respect. 

However, the moral foundations that support our current cultural building project are extremely unstable even on a calm day. Add to it the stormy winds of #MeToo, Black Lives Matter, LGBTQ, or Trumpism, and you quickly find Christians walking timidly through a field of landmines.  Love, respect, tolerance, empathy, mercy, justice, equality, etc. are all handled with uncertainty. When Jesus stated, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” the people responded, “Who is my neighbor?” Now they would ask, “What do you mean by love?” 

The answer to this is a return to our mother virtue. A virtuous life must become a robust, unapologetic, catholic way of life; a liturgical dance for the everyday moments.  These are not the days of standing by the punch bowl with our hands in our pockets looking unsure of what we’re supposed to be doing while the world dances on into oblivion. You fight a culture of death with a culture bursting at the seams with life. 

So we learn how to sing and dance together. We learn how to eat together. We learn how to be a good friend, how to marry and raise children. We learn how to respect the wisdom of the old and invest in the strength of the young. We learn how to bestow greater honor on the weak. We learn how to hate the sin and love the sinner. We learn how to live peaceably in an increasingly hostile world. “Therefore, if anyone cleanses himself from what is dishonorable, he will be a vessel for honorable use, set apart as holy, useful to the master of the house, ready for every good work.” (2 Timothy 2:21)

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On September 4, 2018 By In Interviews, Podcast

KC Podcast: Episode 33, Proverbs for Young Men

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 14:59 — 24.6MB)

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In this interview, Pastor Uri Brito interviews Rev. Mark Horne on his ongoing project on the book of Proverbs. Horne observes that while Proverbs is for everyone, it has a particular application for the young men. Proverbs’ themes and purposes are generally overlooked because of the pietistic way it has been read and the failure to grasp Proverbs’ place in the wisdom literature. You will want to listen to this interview.

 

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On September 1, 2014 By In Books

Should Reformed People Read N.T. Wright?

It doesn’t happen quite often, but once in a while when I recommend a book or a quote by N.T. Wright on facebook, I will receive a question that goes something like this:

“Do you approve of N.T. Wright? Do you think it’s fruitful to endorse N.T. Wright? Or don’t you know that N.T. denies Justification by faith alone?”

I addressed the first question on facebook and I thought I’d make it available here. My response goes like this:

I think the question ought to be more nuanced. In other words, humans and their ideas, especially new humans recreated by God, ought to be analyzed more carefully and charitably. As a pastor I recommend Wright to my parishioners with the same enthusiasm I would recommend C.S. Lewis, Schmemann, and Martin Luther. I have disagreements with all of them, but charity allows me to communicate with these great thinkers and gain from what they offer, while expressing sometimes strong disagreements on some of their contributions.

Yes, Reformed people, in fact, Christians of all stripes should read Professor Wright. His profound insights, his vision for a renewed humanity in Christ, his invaluable defense of the bodily resurrection of Jesus, and his commitment to the historical, Biblical Jesus make him one of the most gifted teachers and scholars of our time and The Jesus Seminar’s worst nightmare.

But what about justification? Shouldn’t we stand for the principal article of the Church? And by standing shouldn’t we reject anyone who denies it?

First, N.T. Wright has written and clarified many of his statements. He stated again and again that he does not deny justification by faith alone. I take him at his word. But hasn’t he been unclear? To those who think so, he will always be. I and many others find Wright’s overall project to be fruitful, despite having disagreements with him at points. I find Kevin J. Vanhoozer’s humorous, but yet serious points on the Wright vs. Piper debate to be very helpful, and from what I hear from reliable sources, Wright agrees and finds Vanhoozer’s attempt to bridge the two paradigms extremely beneficial.

Secondly, the Reformation did not settle every issue. There are contemporary issues that still must be handled within our context. The Reformers did not exhaust the fullness of justification. There is indeed a robustly corporate view of justification that the Reformers–rightly preoccupied with Romish theological abuse–simply did not address explicitly in the 16th century. In this sense, Wright needs to be read and listened to attentively.

Thirdly, when one poses the question of whether we should eliminate such an author from our library because he is wrong on an issue, no matter how important the issue may be, he is betraying the charitable nature of the Christian vision and our personal libraries. Of course, he may choose to avoid Wright, and other authors who also had some questionable theological presuppositions (like C.S. Lewis), but his theological vision will be narrow, and his ability to articulate a vision of the world will stop at the wardrobe (to borrow from Lewis). Those of us who appreciate Wright prefer to open the wardrobe and see Narnia in all its beauty.

Finally, the West’s over-emphasis on the individual is tragic. The individual matters, but Adam himself knew that the individual is not alone. Just as the Trinity is not alone, so too man needs to be a part of something greater. “Community” is not just a buzzword no matter how often hipster Christian groups use it. In its biblical sense, community is the essence of the Christian experience. Paul’s vision was highly ecclesiastical. The individual who divorces from the community loses his ability to be truly human. He breathes and eats as a human, but his breathing and eating desecrates God’s intention to incorporate him into  a multitude. N.T. Wright offers immeasurable contributions on this subject.

Naturally, there is the possibility of over-emphasizing community, but that hardly seems to be the problem in our day. The reality is if you stress the community you get the individual, if you stress the individual you don’t get the community.

Should we read N.T. Wright? Yes. Read him often with the eyes of discernment. But again, discernment is the Christian’s best friend in any human activity.<>siteособенности текста для а

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On April 24, 2014 By In Wisdom

Anatomy of Sin

In Prov. 6:16-19, Solomon presents us with an anatomy of sin. The entire body—eyes, tongue, hands, feet, all directed by the heart—is implicated in seven abominable postures:

There are six things that the Lord hates,
seven that are an abomination to him:
haughty eyes, a lying tongue,
and hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked plans,
feet that make haste to run to evil,
a false witness who breathes out lies,
and one who sows discord among brothers.

Often this passage is read as a simple list of prohibited behaviors. But if we take a closer look at the structure of the text, we will discern that it reveals important truths about the source and scope of sin.

The litany of things God hates is structured as a chiasm:

A: haughty eyes

B: a lying tongue

C: hands that shed innocent blood

D: a heart that devises wicked plans

C’: feet that make haste to run to evil

B’: a false witness who breathes out lies

A’: one who sows discord among brothers

Note the connection between each pair (saving the outer pair for last): In the B pair, a lying tongue and lying witness correspond, and the latter is an intensification of the former. In the C pair, murderous hands complement feet running to evil—all limbs have become members of unrighteousness. At the center (D) is the heart, out of which are the springs of life (Prov. 4:23). Wicked plans take shape in the heart, which in turn directs all parts of the body in the service of sin. Evil doesn’t remain private—not only are these sins unconfined to the heart, they also necessarily involve other people as casualties.

Clear parallels can be observed here. We can see that sin issues from the heart, affects the whole body, and progresses in intensity. However, the link between the bookends of the passage is obscure. What is the relationship between haughty eyes (“a proud look”, in the KJV) and sowing discord among brothers?

A couple new testament passages illuminate the connection between these sins:

In Matt. 7:1-5, Jesus discusses eyes in the context of judgment among brothers. Eyes are the organ of judgment (Ps. 11:4). If they are clouded by pride, they will serve the cause of division, as opposed to fostering unity. We must be humble enough to acknowledge and remove the plank from our own eye before we point out the speck in our brother’s eye.

In Rom. 12:16, Paul connects humility with unity: “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.” By refusing to associate with the lowly, the haughty create division in the body. This mirrors Paul’s teaching on the church in 1 Cor. 12: no member of the body is to exalt itself above another. One member despising another rends the unity of the body.

Thus, by linking haughty eyes with sowing discord, Solomon is showing that pride is a divider and a destroyer.

The anatomy of sin sketched in Proverbs illustrates the pervasiveness of evil. But Proverbs also gives us an anatomy of holiness, echoing the path of wisdom God mapped for His people in the law:

Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil. (Prov. 4:23-27)

You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (Deut. 11:18-19)

A Christian’s eyes, mouths, hands, and feet are to be used in service of righteousness, with all things guided by a heart that meditates on God’s law. In doing this, God is glorified in our bodies.<>регистрация а на google

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