In this series: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6
My previous article established that the church is an assembly, and that assembling is therefore the church’s most basic duty. We assemble primarily for worship, though many things flow out of worship.
What are some of those things? What are our duties toward our fellow assembly-members? The Bible’s instructions to the assembly can be outlined in five categories. Each of these categories connect to one another and overlap – you can’t have some without the others! – but it is important to consider them individually.
First up: Love one another.
This should be an obvious one. The scriptures frequently command Christians to love one another. This command forms the foundation for all subsequent commands. To be clear, I’m not speaking of love for God, though that is necessary as well. This series deals with how Christians relate to Christians. We are commanded to love the assembly. We are commanded to love our fellow-assembly members. Loving God comes easy for Christians; loving other Christians takes work.
There are numerous commands for us to love one another. Consider the following verses:
Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love (Romans 12:10)
There should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
Do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
With all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bear with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)
Love one another fervently with a pure heart (1 Peter 1:22)
Above all things, have fervent love for one another…be hospitable to one another without grumbling (1 Peter 4:8-9)
What does it mean to love one another? It’s important to distinguish between love as a feeling or an emotion, and love as an action. There is a difference, and both are necessary.
Let’s talk about feelings first. In general, you should have affection toward all of the members of the church (e.g. the universal church and your local church). It’s not an option to have hatred, resentment, or animosity toward anyone. You must have a caring disposition toward all. You must view all faithful assemblies as a part of your spiritual family.
That doesn’t mean that you will have the same degree of affection for everyone. I care about the persecuted church in China – I have affection for them – but I don’t know them. I don’t see them, I don’t talk to them, I’m not friends with them. My immediate and direct affection is for my local church and the Christians that I do know. This is normal. We can’t know everyone to the same degree. We will therefore not have affection for everyone to the same degree.
Consider an example from your local church: You might hang out with one church member more than another, and you develop a friendship with that person, more than with the other person. You will have a deeper affection for your close friend. That’s OK, that’s inescapable. We can’t be best friends with everyone.
But you should have a general affection for all, which means you must show love to all. This is where love as an action comes into play. How do you show love to all assembly-members, even the ones you don’t know well? You show love by serving.
At the very least, you greet them with a smile. You engage in small talk. You pray for them. You should care about their well-being and their participation in the body, whether you have fuzzy feelings for them or not. You make an effort — as small as it might be — to be friendly, to let them know that they belong, that they are family. You sacrifice your comfort for the comfort of others. (This will include making an effort to know them beyond small talk. You might not become close friends, but they shouldn’t be strangers, either. You show hospitality, you invite them into your home, etc.)
Loving one another doesn’t mean only loving those who like the same things that you do. It doesn’t mean only loving those who are the same age as you. To “love one another” means to love everyone in the assembly – the young and the old, the blacks and the whites, the cool and the not-cool, the jocks and the geeks! You don’t get to choose who they are, God does. This will require sacrifice on your part. This will require humility and courage. It isn’t easy to love someone different from you, but this is what God has called you to do.
The assembly is not supposed to be a place of cliques. You will naturally have a close circle of friends, but that circle should not be exclusive. It should always be willing to include newcomers. If you aren’t being kind and welcoming to everyone, then you’re doing it wrong. When you come to worship, you should be eager to greet people and to say hello with a cheerful heart. Not just to your friends, but to whomever you pass by. Don’t let your eyes meet someone else’s without greeting them. (Serving someone includes basic etiquette of greeting and conversation. It will be hard to love someone if you never speak to them.)
You should have this mindset even when it comes to visitors. Don’t let visitors find themselves standing alone, awkwardly, with no one to talk to. If they stick around after worship, that means they want to socialize and fellowship. Do your part to put their needs first. People should not be lonely at church. The assembly should be the cure for loneliness, not a catalyst for it. When visitors aren’t spoken to, they will not feel welcomed, accepted, or loved.
Beyond these things, when someone in the assembly has a physical need, the need must be met. “How can I help?” should be your default attitude. This assumes that you will be perceptive of other people; it assumes that you know them well enough to know what their needs are. You can open the door for the elderly or handicapped; you can prepare meals; you can help financially. There’s no end to the ways in which we show love toward one another.
You can’t say, “Mr. Smith has a need, but I’m not friends with him, so not my problem.” You can’t say, “The floors need swept, but I haven’t been told to do that, so not my problem.” Those responses do not show love for the assembly. Be eager to show love by your actions. Every assembly-member has an obligation to do this, including children. Parents should cultivate these characteristics in their children from an early age, and we should all be leading by example.
In closing: Our love for one another is crucial because Jesus says it’s how the world knows we are his disciples (John 13:35). Notice that he doesn’t say our love for “all people,” or our love for “unbelievers.” Yes, we must love all people, including unbelievers. But it’s our love for one another that shows the world who we are. Our love for one another is the proof that we are Jesus’s people.
Love one another. Our witness to the world depends on it.
