By In Counseling/Piety, Culture, Discipleship, Theology

The Five Faces of Anger

Anger characterizes our present culture. We live in a victimized, aggrieved, and, therefore, angry society. Anger is always simmering beneath the surface and frequently erupts. We will see more volcanic activity as campaigns ramp up and elections draw near. Battle lines are drawn. People will yell and scream at one another in person and online.

Our capitalist culture has learned to monetize anger. Anger is good business for social media influencers, whether non-Christian or Christian. Rage bait receives clicks; clicks are traffic, and traffic means money and fame. Anger is big business.

Critical Theories are rooted in anger and its sibling, envy. Intersectionality narrows me and my situation down to a few people who are never understood and always oppressed. This has taken hold inside and outside the church. Outside the church, this is understandable. Non-Christians live in the old Adamic skin and share his angry character. They feed on the self-consuming fires of anger until they cease to exist.

Within the church, these expressions of anger are abominable. Racism, for example, is the inextricable and, therefore, unforgivable sin that keeps tension and anger stirring beneath the surface. No matter how many apologies are issued, no matter how many times forgiveness is begged for, there is no absolution. Anger and hatred seethe, and for these angry people, the gospel of Jesus Christ will never be able to overcome them in this life. We must live angry.

Paul demurs. In Colossians 3:8, Paul tells the church that in addition to the sexual sins listed previously, sins of anger must also be “put off.” Sins of anger destroy the body of Christ. Sinful anger can’t build or maintain relationships of peace because it always treats others as its enemies, not co-laborers in our common kingdom mission. God’s mission is for us to build the world so that it looks like his heavenly throne room. Sinful anger hamstrings that mission because before we can build anything else in the world, we must have the fundamental culture of heaven that begins with peace and trust.

Paul characterizes anger with five words, each giving us one facet of this flawed diamond. Wrath emphasizes the internal disposition and strong emotional displeasure. You are always discontent with a debilitating fire burning inside. Nothing is ever right. Everyone is against you. Others are a constant threat that keeps you on high alert.

Rage is the outburst of anger that throws a fit, yells, screams, and may even become physically violent. You have lost control of the situation and seek to subjugate others to your will through fear. It may work temporarily, but no one wants to navigate the minefield that is a relationship with you. Who wants to live with the tension of a ticking timebomb?

Malice is a mean-spirited, vicious attitude that seethes with the despising of others, wishing evil on them. It may express itself in outbursts, but it can also be more subtle through manipulation and undermining, all while being sugary sweet.

Slander (literally blasphemy) is using words to defame. (Libel is technically different but falls under the same category.) You aim to ruin a person’s reputation, whether through outright lies, partial truths, or revealing truth inappropriately. Slander’s aim is destruction using any word weapon at one’s disposal.

Filthy speech rounds out the filthy five. Lewd talk may be included in this, but in a list dealing with anger, the emphasis seems to be more on the inappropriately abusive nature of the speech. You seek to tear down instead of build up (cf. Eph 4:29). Paul says, “Keep your mouth shut!” It doesn’t matter if you think being “authentic” or “transparent” means venting your spleen. Not everything that lives in your brain should exit your mouth. That is the practice of a fool (Prov 29:11).

Sinful anger must not characterize our relationships as Christians. That’s why Paul tells us to “put off” all these sins. But how do we do that? There is no easy three-step method to becoming content. Taming your anger will be a lifelong discipline, but progress can be made.

First, if you are a discontent, constantly agitated, grumbling, and complaining sort of person, you must stop denying the fact that you are angry. You are angry. Recognize this about yourself and confess it as the sin that it is.

Second, you need to consider why you are angry. I can’t answer that for you. You have to think about it. Why does this fire constantly burn? Are you angry because of some unresolved issue where you believe you were wronged and justice was not served? You may be the victim of true evil in which anger is the proper response, but can the issue realistically be resolved, or may it be that only God can resolve it later (see Rom 12:17-21)? Are your unrealistic expectations of God and others keeping you in this slow burn?

Are you covetous, always longing for what God has given others and never being content with how God made you and what he has given you?

Are you angry because you are not in control? You can’t control others so that they do what you want and you’re angry with God because he won’t do it for you? Maybe you want this person to change for the better, but he has given you no indication or promise that he will. You’re angry because you can’t make him do what you want.

The only way to combat this kind of anger is to cultivate contentment. Contentment is being grateful and satisfied with God’s reality, which includes the limitations he puts on you. You must accept and be grateful that God will one day bring justice to evil people, resolving the problem of evil. You must be grateful for others and God’s gifts to them. You must accept the realities of your limitations and be grateful for God’s sovereignty.

Only as we cultivate contentment in our lives will we be able to live free of sinful anger within the body of Christ.

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