God made man glorious and destined him for greater glory. Between these glories, he would move from glory to glory incrementally. Man’s glory is wrapped up in his calling to take dominion over the world. To obtain that glorious state of rule over the creation, man must become better than he is and more than he is. With this, his responsibility grows, and he becomes weightier.
Fundamental to this progressive glorification is the family. God initially made man more than he was by creating the woman and making her one flesh with him, adding to the man. Future children born from this relationship will continue to add glory, making man more than he was, better than he was, and expanding his rule over the earth.
When man sinned, he fell short of this glory (Rom 3.23). His glory turned to shame. This shame is not merely a sense of embarrassment but is also located in his familial relationships. When the family isn’t right, man’s God-given mission can’t be fulfilled, and instead of becoming better, he becomes worse.
Our glory and shame are bound up in our familial relationships. Solomon addresses this throughout Proverbs as he speaks of the glory of husbands, fathers, wives, mothers, and children.
A man’s glory is found in faithful children (Pr 10.1; 17.6; 23.15-16; 23.24; 29.3). The crown of a godly man is wise children and grandchildren. The crown mentioned in Proverbs 17.6 is not a mere wardrobe accessory. The crown is the visible expression of his rule. As he has been fruitful and multiplied, rearing wise children who order their lives and worlds according to God’s intentions, the father’s rule is realized through them. He takes great joy in this because men are designed to be focused on, live for, and protect the future. This is why men give their lives in war. A man’s glory is to reproduce himself and his mission, protect his offspring, and, therefore, the future mission. His glory is increased through faithful children, children whose hearts have been captivated by wisdom and made the mission their own. The man’s shame is realized when he raises fools who, instead of developing the world, destroy it.
A man’s glory is also found in a prudent wife (Pr 19.14). A wife can make or break her husband. A wise wife helps him build his house, not merely by having children, but by nurturing those children in wisdom and being industrious in every other aspect of the house-building project so that her husband becomes a man of renown in the city through her wise aid (see Pr 31.23). A quarrelsome wife (Pr 19.13) is a continual dripping. This refers to a leaky roof. The leak is not a mere annoyance but threatens the house’s integrity. If not stopped, the roof will cave in. This wife stirs up strife in the home and outside, always demanding her husband’s attention by making him put out fires she started. She is not helping him. She is hindering him. She is his shame.
Wives and mothers also share in this familial glory as well as shame. The glory of women is found in their children as well. Wise children make the mother rejoice (Pr 23.25). Solomon emphasizes the mother in obvious ways in her relationship to her children. Relationships are the emotional priority of women in a way that they aren’t for men. Men tend to care more about the mission, accomplishing things, and engaging the world. Women focus more on and are much more sensitive to relationships. The woman is a bond-maker, reflecting the Holy Spirit in a particular way. There is no greater joy for a woman than being connected with her children and grandchildren geographically and emotionally. She wants all the relationships to be happy. She wants peace between everyone. She serves the greater mission by helping create these relationships. This is her glory, the way she helps move the mission forward.
When a child wanders, it affects the woman in ways that it doesn’t affect the man. I believe Solomon emphasizes this when he speaks specifically about mothers rejoicing or foolish children being a shame to their mothers (Pr 10.1; 29.15). She senses a deep sense of failure, not only for her child but as a helper to her husband and ultimately to her God. The project of dominion she was called to help has become a source of shame through unfaithful children.
Children participate in this familial glory and shame. Children glory in their fathers (Prov 17.6). This extends to the mother as she is one flesh with the father, but Solomon emphasizes the father. A child’s father is mighty in his eyes. He wants to grow up to be like his dad, and he’s sure that his dad can beat up your dad. As he grows older, his picture of his immortal father diminishes as he realizes his limitations and faults, but he is still the child’s glory. That glory may be very glorious, or it may turn to shame. The father gives his child a name, not just a moniker, but a name filled up with all his words and deeds. The child will live with this name. Dad’s name will either be a boon to him—his glory—or his bane—his shame. The name will help the child move the mission forward or hinder him.
While the father bears a great responsibility in giving glory to his children, children have the responsibility to respond with appropriate honor. This made God’s “top ten:” Honor your father and mother. Depending on the stage of life, honor applies differently. When a child, honor is respect and obedience. When an adult, honor is respect and even financial support (cf. Mt 15.1-9). This honor will be rewarded with God granting the inheritance of the earth (Ex 20.12; Eph 6.1-3). Honoring children will be granted glory.
Children who dishonor their parents are a shame to themselves, their parents, and their God. They will be disinherited, exiled from the earth, which is quite the opposite of the glory of dominion (Pr 19.26).
The family is a place of both glory and shame. What are you doing to make your family glorious?
Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash
