If you have been a part of the church in America for years, then you have probably seen a general pattern in the lives of people. At an early age, a child is involved in the church, being baptized as an infant or by profession of faith. As he grows into his mid to late teenage years, he begins to stray, sowing his wild oats through his college years. Somewhere around his late twenties or maybe early thirties he decides to settle down, get married, and have children. Church meant a lot to him when he was young, so he needs to get his family back in church. He becomes involved in church again so that his child can go through the same pattern he did.
Parents of those in the “wild oats” years tend to accept this pattern as axiomatic. This is just the way things are. They will commiserate with one another with one saying, “You know how it is,” and the other giving the melancholy but affirming nod of the head, acknowledging the unalterable pattern of growing up. Both feel some sense of justification.
For some reason, we have grown to accept that flirting with and even bedding down with Harlot Folly as a young person is perfectly normal. All children must go through this as a rite of passage. However, avoiding this path is the reason that Proverbs was written.
Solomon states his purpose clearly in Proverbs 1.4: “… to give prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the youth….” Older men still have much to learn from Proverbs (Pr 1.5), but wisdom is not reserved only for the aged. Neither is the responsibility to pursue wisdom exclusively for the more mature. From the time of our birth, we are to be committed to the path of wisdom.
Initially, parents are to lead and guide children on the path of wisdom through the rod and instruction, driving foolishness from their hearts (Pr 22.15; 29.15). Parents are to expect and train children to follow the path of wisdom, avoiding folly through all of their days. We do this by pursuing wisdom ourselves and having them join us on the path; teaching them when we rise up, when we lie down, and when we walk by the way (Deut 6.4-9).
Pursuing wisdom involves several actions according to the opening words of Proverbs 2: listening to, treasuring of, praying for, and seeking wisdom. As parents, we model this before and with our children, leading them on the path of wisdom.
We demonstrate how to listen to words of wisdom by listening to the Scriptures and those who communicate them (Pr 2.1, 2). This is not merely being in a room with the sound waves of wisdom bouncing all around us, but actively listening, submitting to what is heard, meditating on it, seeking understanding, and obeying wisdom’s words.
We lead them to treasure up wisdom’s commandments and incline their hearts to understanding (Pr 2.1, 2) by valuing wisdom ourselves. There are times that wisdom’s words don’t appear immediately relevant, but because they are wisdom’s words, we know that they are beneficial. We store them up in our hearts for later.
We teach them what it means to call out for insight and raise our voice for understanding (Pr 2.3) through teaching them to pray; not necessarily giving them lectures on prayer, but through praying with them. We show them that even though we are older and wiser, we are still dependent upon the only wise God. Our wisdom is not complete.
Gaining wisdom is not a passive process. We seek for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure. Diligence, desire, and determination are demonstrated in our lives as parents. We want them to love wisdom, so we love it first. We don’t take a lackadaisical attitude toward walking wisdom’s way. We are consistent and hearty in worship with the people of God. Knowledge of, meditation upon, and living consistently with the Scriptures is evident in our lives, not merely as one activity among many, but as a way of life.
We model the pursuit of wisdom with our children. Along the way, our children must pursue wisdom for themselves. The call throughout Proverbs is for the son to heed the instruction of his father and mother. The child is not exempt from this when he is a teenager or in his early twenties. There is no time in life in which it is acceptable or wise to cavort with Harlot Folly, and it should not be accepted as standard practice by parents or children. To do so is to flirt with destruction.
