“Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be.” James 3:10
My question: “Are we blessing, cursing, or neither? Is the “neither” category even possible?”
Most Christians take special care to abstain from vulgarities and blasphemies. Vulgarities often put private matters on public display, such as bathroom or bedroom activities, which ought to remain private rather than becoming coffee-break humor or hammer-meets-thumb expletives. Everyone knows what happens in the bathroom, but you’re supposed to leave it there, not bring it out with you. Everyone knows what happens in the bedroom, besides sleeping, but that is also meant to be a private matter. It is supposed to happen “off-stage.” Blasphemies, of course, take God’s name and use it in a less than hallowed manner. Number 3 on the Top 10, declares, “He will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.” (Ex. 20:7) If you had to choose one, then bring your filth out of the bathroom with you before you use God’s name carelessly or worse yet, pejoratively. However, when you do choose, choose to keep what’s private private and what’s holy holy. Vulgarities and blasphemies can hardly be considered blessings.
Another verbal matter to be considered is the direct curse. The word “damn” has a specific purpose. This is not a word that cannot be appropriately used, but it is one that commonly gets misused, and overly misused, in our culture, often preceded by a blasphemy as to Who is being called upon to do the damning. We teach our children that it is not our place to condemn someone else to eternal perdition, nor should it be our desire to do so. “Damn” and “hell” are neither vulgar nor blasphemous; rather they are words that ought not be tossed around.
So we abstain from careless speech, coarse jokes, and flippant curses. Now what? Are we to assume that refraining from a short list of words and phrases means that we are controlling our tongue? That we are blessing our brother?
While there are no neutral words, no words that don’t convey what’s going on in our hearts, there is a difference between words spoken with an implied blessing and those spoken with an overt blessing. An implied blessing could be contained in the simple, “Good morning,” depending on one’s inflection. This can also be an overt blessing depending on you inflection, like “Good morning!” This can also be a curse if said too loudly, too early. (Prov. 27:14) There can also be implied blessing in casual conversations. The mere fact that you take the time to speak to someone can mean more to them than you’ll ever know. That sounds sappy and cliché, but that doesn’t make it untrue. Even if you have nothing in common with the person except the current weather, there can be a blessing in making small talk.
Every sentence we say can be used as an implied blessing, but are we willing to go further than this? Are we willing to take the effort that it takes to use our words for overt blessings; blessings that would be hard to be mistaken as anything else? Are we willing to take our eyes off of ourselves and our personal problems in order to be an overt blessing to those around us today?
However, before we have something profitable to say, we must be aware of what’s going on around us. Wisdom is contextual, so wise words are typically only wise if spoken in due season. This requires listening before we speak. Listening takes effort and time. Listening means getting down off our soap boxes and actually considering what the other person is saying. We can view every conversation today as an opportunity to take our eyes off of ourselves, shut our mouths for a minute or two, and listen to our neighbor. Then, and only then, can we overtly bless them.
We can’t heal diseases with our spoken word, but we can speak words seasoned with salt. We can’t feed the multitudes with one order of fish and chips, but we can buy someone lunch and then let them do the talking. If we actually listen, maybe we’ll actually have something to say that matters.
More on overt blessings later…<>
