Uri Brito

On January 6, 2021 By Uri Brito In Theology, Worship Like

What does Epiphany mean for the Church?

Happy Epiphany!

It doesn’t have the same ring as “Merry Christmas” or “Christ is risen!” but it carries significant repercussions for Christmas and Easter theology. In some sense, Epiphany is the key that unlocks both classic Christian festivals. Epiphany secures the triumph of Jesus’ life and mission.

In Epiphany, we celebrate the “manifestation” of Jesus to the Gentiles. When Magi came to give him gifts, they gave him gifts as a foretelling of the great gift the Son will give the Father at the end of history (I Cor. 15:24-26). When Christ returns, he returns with the kingdom as a gift to the Father. Jesus receives gifts, but he is the great gift-giver of history.

Jesus introduces himself to the Gentile world as a fulfillment of Simeon’s song. He is a light to lighten the Gentiles and the glory of Israel (Matt 2:1-12). Jesus’ entire ministry is a ministry of gift-giving, which culminates as his body is given for his people (Lk. 22:19). Indeed, gift-giving is a crucial component of the revelation of Jesus to the world.

The reason we can be sure of the fulfillment of the Great Commission (Matt. 28:18-20) is that Epiphany’s gifts to Jesus are gifts that will be dispersed among men. Jesus is the unfailing gift-giver to the nations. He has never failed to provide for his people. Even in Israel’s underserved position, he still offers them life and light.

For the Christian, Epiphany signals a season of discipleship through rituals of gift-giving. The entire biblical premise on sanctification entails a life of exchanges (my life for yours). Christians are called to think through their ordinary rituals and adjust them accordingly for the sake of revealing Christ’s work to the nations. Three questions arise for us to ensure the gift-giving environment:

First, how can my home be a gift of refreshment to my children and those who enter it?

Second, how/what are my daily habits? In what ways are those rituals bringing life to my own soul and those around me?

Third, how am I being apostolic in my endeavors? How is my private and public life sharing the mission of Messiah to the world?

Epiphany means to make known what was hidden. Christ’s presence was a mystery to the Gentiles, but now his life is made known to the nations as a babe and as the Creator of the cosmos. It speaks to our need to wrap our lives as gifts to those around us and to be constantly on the lookout to give of ourselves to others out of the abundance of gifts we have received from Christ(mas).

On November 23, 2020 By Uri Brito In Culture Like

A Simple View of Life: Liberty and Obedience

I have a very simple view of life. I may decorate it to make it look attractive, but in the end, it’s quite simple. We are created to understand two things: our liberty and obedience. The first has to do with what we want, and the second, what/whom we trust. It’s an elementary view of life, and I gladly stole it from the sweetest of my rotund literary companions, G.K. Chesterton.

But let me develop these just a bit if you don’t mind. If a man wishes to prostitute himself with an eclectic assortment of fantasies and addictions, he can have at it. Most of these are available in a screen near you. The abundance of toys is so great that Jeff Bezos seems perplexed by it. Your view of liberties is determined by the things you want. If you want everything, including that other thing that the 10th commandment prohibits, you want limited liberty. Again, have at it. Many have tried, and from what I understand from archeologists, you can still smell their carcasses in the desert at certain times during the scorching heat.

However, if you want life abundant; the life that drips down your beard like oil, then you need a view of liberty that binds you to certain norms. The Pharisees our Lord chastised wanted a theology of liberty that stifled, and they gladly wore their “Make Hypocrisy Great Again” paraphernalia in the streets for everyone to see. They were dying inside, and Jesus just exposed their rotting soul to the masses. It wasn’t hard, especially when He was the one who knew them from the womb.

For some people, their liberty philosophy is plain to see. Just take a look at their Instagram page and you can tell that they are a busy idol factory. But for others, it’s more subtle. They build their careers on lies and half-truths, developing a vocabulary suitable for the Wall Street mercenary. I think Jordan Peterson’s “Rule Eight” touches on this (Tell the Truth, or At Least Don’t Lie). They masquerade their true intent with lies, and they build a reputation of liberty-lovers, but really their understanding is shallow. They are the ones navigating the self-help magazines at Books-A-Million seeking whom they may devour.

But the young lady who lays out to her pastor a picture of a husband she is after is seeking a good thing. She is limiting her liberty in the right way. She wants the good, even though she may have to moderate her list a bit. Her understanding of liberty is one that will give her maximum prosperity within her context.

Now, the second thing you must grasp is obedience. Remember that little Sunday School song, “O-B-E-D-I-E-N-C-E is the very best way to show that you believe.” That kind of talk will get you killed in any evening in D.C. or Portland. What was common Christian talk is now a challenging proposition in a post-5th-commandment world! But, pardon my Hebrew, “to hell with the obedience nay-sayers!” They don’t want the good of culture or the good of the city. They want the dismemberment of babies and society at large.

Your regard for obedience says a lot more about your worldview than your philosophy degree. Give me five minutes with a young man, and I can tell you more about his view of life than his resume attests. Your understanding of obedience is determinative of whom you trust. The way some trust in horses and chariots is by scoffing at godly authority and chasing after the cool kids with the fancy cars.

I told a group of young men this morning to watch for the flatterers. They praise you incessantly because they want your attention and your obedience…to their demands. But obedience is a matter of heart orientation. We need to look at the flatterer right in the eye, or at least via text, and say, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” After all, we obey what/whom we worship, and we become like what/whom we obey. As I said, I have a very simple view of life.

On November 21, 2020 By Uri Brito In Culture 2

Killing Serpents as Christian Act

Here is a reality check that you must accept now, rather than later if you intend to cause a holy ruckus among the peoples of earth: we are all called to daily acts of civil disobedience. I don’t want to diminish the proper hierarchy of things on earth, but let’s be profoundly honest with ourselves–we are rebels at large. We were put in this world to rule over animals (Gen 1:26-28), which is another way of saying we dwell among animals, the kind of sociological creatures that roam around Hollywood and D.C.; we were not put here to be tame creatures of God but to rule over the darkness of this world in the jungles of pagan discourse.

To some, this may appear a bit reductionistic, but I have found it helpful in thinking through our calling as Christians in this world. After Genesis 3, our calling is to rebel rightly against principalities and powers, to offer an alternative interpretation of reality than the nice kids down the block. After all, there is a duality in thinking between serpent tamers and serpent killers. We fall in the latter category unless we want to be sweet and loving towards your neighbors, which in our day usually means forsaking all Christian values for some civic absurdity.

I was reminded in reading Liberation theologians of how “love thy neighbor” has never changed in the hands of liberalism. In a recent piece for the mainline Lutheran Church (ELCA)–you know, those guys that would ordain a chihuahua if they could–the title read: “Love Thy Neighbor: Queer, Black and Liberation Theology.” That’s how they like it! Narrow down the Christian faith to a cheap trick and use Matthew 22 as a front to justify everything, everyone, and to tame the Gospel to a nice, harrowing act of acceptance.

But when the Bible–that ancient instruction book on how to kill a dragon–tells us to love our neighbors, it is in the context of loving God, who does not give us carte blanche on love but tells us that part of loving is rebuking one another when there is sin and challenging the established order when others are not seeking the glory of the kingdom. If you think you are loving your neighbor by some nebulous act of acceptance, you are wrong; if you think you are loving your neighbor by treating the government officials making COVID laws as inerrantists, you are wrong. You love your neighbor by leading him to join the forces that believe killing serpents is not a hobby but a way of life. Serve, do good, but in the end, you are either making someone twice a son of Belial, or you are pushing them to kill Belial. Next to “Christian” in the 1625 Lexicon should have: Belial-killers from birth.

We are rebels in this world. And it’s not because we don’t belong here. The whole world is already ours (Rom. 4:13)! It’s because there are too many people acting and making laws as if they are in charge. They would be glad if your pastor tamed his message to fit whatever the fad may be in the evangelifishiness of the day. When your church leader begins to play music on his newly-battery-full Wokeyman, it’s time to ask the question of whether you are playing for the right team or that team is playing you.

So, ladies and gentlemen, unwoke thyself and ask, “Am I seeking to ‘love my neighbor’ like the latest # on twitter, or am I loving my neighbor towards the team that favors civil disobedience against the post-fall created order?” I have chosen long ago that killing serpents will be a way of life for me, which means I have a meeting with my strategy team tomorrow.

On November 18, 2020 By Uri Brito In Counseling/Piety Like

Nouethic Counselor, Jay Adams, has died at 91

I did not want this week to go by without acknowledging the life of Dr. Jay Adams. Dr. Adams was the pioneer of the Christian Counseling movement who died a couple of days of ago at the age of 91. I have been meditating quietly about his words and perusing a couple of his works during writing breaks.

God has been gracious in allowing me to meet godly men throughout my life. Among them, was the joy of meeting Dr. Adams on at least seven occasions and interviewing him a couple of times and speaking on the phone at least twice. The last time I spoke with him, many years ago, I had a pastoral question that needed some wise counsel. I will never forget our opening exchange: “Good morning, Dr. Adams, this is Pastor Uri Brito. How are you this morning? “I am 80-years- old. What do you expect!?”

That kind of succinct humor and a heavy dose of directness characterized his 100+ books as well as lectures and life. Adams was a forthright man in methodology and in matter-of-fact-ness. I mentioned in a lecture several years ago on the Christian Counseling Movement that Adams came into the scene to offer something Christian after over 100+ years of silence on the topic. I once surveyed Counseling books written between 1900-1950 only to find that there were only a handful of books that made reference to the Bible, and those that did only mentioned it tangentially to preserve the “Christian Psychologist” status.

Adams was not like that. He took the tabula rasa of Counseling material in the day and filled it, nay, saturated it with Biblical texts. He was an unashamed biblicist who sought to bring God’s truth into every facet of life. I have no interested in investing time in criticizing his style or his disciples, and there is some criticism to go around, rather I want to acknowledge that God has used Adams to instill habits among men who are lazy, gluttonous, addicted, unlawful, and uncaring. He has done the same for women who are rebellious, angry and mourning. For every one who says they were hurt by the Adams’ nouthetic model, I know another who was comforted and happily confronted by it.

As I mentioned above, Adams’ counsel was direct. How direct? In his 1972 work on “Christian Living” he opened a paragraph on the lack of love in the home with these words: “If love has grown cold in your family, husband, you must do something about it.” There is more to this advice, but it summarized Adams’ vision to set men to action. If anything, Adams viewed life as action; a series of habits which formed and informed our lives. While only in the last few years we have seen a tsunami of works on the role of habits and rituals in shaping the Christian experience, Adams was already talking about the need for renewed habits in the 70’s.

He was a theological rebel in his Presbyterianism. He held to partial-preterism, was not a sabbatarian, was not particularly fond of the Puritans, and detested much of Reformed preaching. It was this unique flavor that Adams brought to everything he endeavored and as one who changed important theological positions by reading him, I am indebted.

I am grateful for his legacy and am actively involved as a certified pastoral counselor in the continuation of that pioneer work, though the movement has certainly morphed in these last 30 years. Adams was that inimitable voice that the Church needed to wake her up from her slumber. She did, and millions of people give thanks to God for the work of competent counselors who serve the sad, the sick, and the sinner who can only find refuge in the lover of our souls, Jesus Christ.

R.I.P. Jay E. Adams 1929 – 2020

On November 17, 2020 By Uri Brito In Politics, Theology Like

Sexuality in the Age of Harry Styles

By now, some of you have seen the Dunkirk actor, Harry Styles, receive the acclaim as the first solo male to appear on Vogue Magazine. The reason for his astronomical debut is because he dare push the norms of masculinity. But Harry is already known for his theatrics. In his own words, he wishes to be the role model for fashion fluidity. His heroes, Prince and Elton John, are icons whose flamboyant pieces of clothing meant they could reach the stars with their expressive colors and spontaneity. Masculinity, that old archaic, word is only functional when he sees fit; at other times, it’s just the West’s assumption; after all, if I deem to be female while inheriting male organs, I can; because ultimately, I create and re-create myself in my own image.

And this, ladies and gentlemen (and you should identity yourself with one of those two options exclusively and without possibility of alternation) is precisely why we, Christians in the West, should have two immediate reactions to what took place:

First, we should feel enormous pity for such human beings. There is high degree of chance that there is some form of abuse that took place in his life. He may be the exception, but the fact that he surrounds himself with the Hollywood elites is a sure sign that this young man has suffered in some way either sexually or verbally to achieve this level of insanity. This kind of confusion is most often the result of the sexual bifurcation that happens early on, and of which Hollywood is complicit in perpetuating its culture.

But the second reaction to Harry’s dress-up session is absolute, unadulterated mockery. Not only is this young man a tool of the left, but he is a tool of the devil who loves to insinuate that what is obscenely abnormal should be the norm. Styles put on a dress and went on Vogue to reveal that his masculinity can play games with God. Make no mistake: Styles is taunting God’s style. But God is not mocked, neither does he favor image-bearers returning their masculinity back to the Creator. When God gave us a sex, there was a “no-return policy” attached to it.

Candace Owens jumped on this display of weakness and asserted that this is not what a “manly man” looks like and that “no society can survive without strong man.” The fact that her opinations earned the wrath of the right pagans is good enough for me. But, I would like to go a step further and assert that Styles is the embodiment of judgment. He is what happens when good men do nothing; when dads don’t take their boys out to the ball game; when dads choose domestic obscurity over domestic presence; when they choose profession over pouring affection on their young boys.

Adam attempted to cover himself with fig leaves to cover his shame, Styles attempted to cover his masculinity with an outdated subversion of gender norms. In the end, a man is a man is a man. You can’t hide your uniqueness and you can’t hide your identity from the One who sees your nakedness and form.

If there is ever a time to pray for our young boys, it’s now! If there is ever a time to seek the good of our children’s education, it is now! As Justin Trudeau stated recently, “it’s time for a reset.” Except, unlike Trudeau, who wishes for more more Harry Styles to populate the earth, I am petitioning God to take us back to the foundational steps of civilization when men knew that we dress up to attack evil, and women dress up to mother young boys to put on the armor God gave them in their baptisms.

On November 1, 2020 By Uri Brito In Church Like

All Saints’ Day Challenge

Our challenge on this All Saints’ Day is the challenge of believing what God actually says about us and to live in a such a way that we trust in God’s words. But I know human nature too well. I know that God’s words can dress us as warriors, but deep inside too often we feel naked like Adam and Eve desperately trying to find refuge in fig leaves. We too often forget that God has already given us his righteousness in His Son. We have forgotten that the Resurrection of Jesus has already clothed us with new life. But we are forgetful saints.

One reason you don’t grasp our status as saints of the Most High God is that you still have not bought into this business of being a saint. Of course, you have Christ and his benefits, but there is little gratitude. You see, it’s likely that some of you take this church and communion business so lightly that your armor can be easily perforated by the slightest touch. And then someone comes to you offering an alternative Gospel and they say, “Look, this Christian business is too heavy for you. Why do you have to wear this armor and carry these swords? Follow us, and all you have to do is be yourself!” When you take the faith lightly, don’t be surprised if you have no idea who you are or what God says about you.

But another reason you don’t grasp God’s delight in you or how God views you is that you are divorced from the life of the body. Imagine if the Apostle Paul, Thomas Cramer, Jan Hus, Nate Saint, martyrs in the presence of God who gave everything, including their lives for this cause were to hear the American rationale for not going to church, for not being involved with God’s people, for not engaging the Bible, and for not fellowshipping. Imagine if they heard, “Oh, but sports are so important for my children.” Imagine if they heard: “Oh, but I just have so many other things to do, and I can’t engage the life of the body or the Word of God.” Imagine if they heard, “But I need to finish up some work on Sunday that I didn’t finish on Saturday.” What vile words those must be if the martyrs could hear them! The men and women who gave everything for the cause of Christ.

For the sake of all the saints, for the sons and daughters of God who go forth to war on behalf of Christ and his Church, will you follow in their train or will choose to let the world define you and the bribery of false sons to speak on your behalf? The truth of All Saints’ Day is that God delights in you! His words are the only ones which ultimately matter! Believe this and rejoice!

On October 31, 2020 By Uri Brito In Theology Like

Why I am Reformed

Dear Friend,

You inquired so honestly about why I am committed to a Reformed vision of life, that I feel compelled to at least give you a brief overview.

First, it’s important to note that I am Reformed in the catholic sense. By “catholic,” I mean in the sense that I have high regard for other traditions. While I am committed to many features of the 16th Century Protestant Reformation (see below), I am in no way committed to abiding by every doctrine that sprung from that era. However, when I do disagree with my forefathers, I don’t do it flippantly, but with tremendous respect and caution. They were so loyal to the Scriptures that when I disagree with their interpretation I do it with as much humility I can muster.

Second, I am compelled by the Reformed faith because it exalts God to a place of highest honor. Of course, other traditions exalt God, but the Reformed faith places God as the center of all thinking, living, doing, and abiding. In a culture so heavily invested in the wants and desires of men, the Reformed tradition places the glory of God above all earthly glories.

Third, and perhaps one of the central aspects that drew me to the theology of Calvin, Luther, and Bucer was their immense love for the Holy Bible. The Bible was for them the central and primary authority over all matters of faith and practice. Instead of relying on methods that excuse or draws us away from the text, the Reformed faith is unapologetically biblical. God is and therefore everything flows from that presupposition.

Fourth, and I owe this largely to Martin Luther, but what draws me more and more every day to the Reformed faith is its principle that when you sing you pray twice (Augustine). Luther believed that the congregation needed to be committed to singing God’s words and sound theology. I still recall my first experience in a Reformed church and singing:

His kingdom cannot fail;
He rules o’er earth and heav’n.
The keys of death and hell
To Christ the Lord are giv’n.

I never heard such piercing and powerful lyrics. For the Reformed, the congregation is the choir.

Finally, I am Reformed because of Abraham Kuyper’s mission to apply the Christian faith to every sphere of life. He once wrote: “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, Mine!” For the Reformed, to be a Christian is not just a state of being, but a verb. A Christian christianizes. He brings the joys of heaven to everything he touches on earth.

If I had more time, I’d talk about how the Reformation renewed a true vision of the Church, but I think my outline above should suffice. Again, thanks for your question and I am looking forward to your feedback.

Yours Truly.

On October 29, 2020 By Uri Brito In Family and Children, History Like

A Brief Case for Halloween

By now, more than half of my readers have voted. Good. Get on with your life, people! To those whom I’ve had some influence, I am grateful. To those who continue to be as stubborn as I and unchanged, I applaud you. To those still undecided, as R.C. Sproul used to say, “What’s wrong with you people!” And to Evangelicals voting for Biden, I can no longer help you if you’re a part of the anarcho-syndicalist commune. And to all my third-party friends, I see the two of you. Being in the minority on issues is a specialty of my particular denomination. So, two very conservative cheers! Convictions aside, I know all about going against the flow.

I have argued that if we are to pray for those in authority over us (I Tim. 2:2), it follows that we should have some participation in the process. Praying for someone you’ve had no interaction with in the electoral process makes the whole process shallow.

But now that we’ve moved on, let’s talk about that Halloween business for a bit, shall we? After all, Trump is not going to give you candy. Your neighbor is. And herein lies the first case for Halloween: the neighborliness of it. Halloween is an extension of that festive spirit. We should abide by principles that establish more powerful platforms of community life. At this point, my Wendell Berry friends are cheering me on from the balcony.

I can already see from afar and up close the parents who wish to preserve decency and order in the home by keeping demons away. There is a kind of consistent curmudgeon who avoids all festivities. Christmas? Boo! Lent? Ascetic! The Feast of St. Augustine’s cat Felix? A return to sentimentalism! But Halloween, with some of these folks, receives a different kind of wrath. “Halloween?” Paganism mixed with vampiric orgies devouring candy offered to idols!

For the uninitiated, Halloween is a contraction for All Hallows’ Eve. “The word “hallow” means “saint,” in that “hallow” is just an alternative form of the word “holy” (“hallowed be Thy name”).” All Saints’ Day, which liturgical churches celebrate this Sunday, is a festive occasion remembering the faithfulness of God to the sons and daughters of the kingdom who gave their lives and from their labors now rest with Christ. Jesus claimed victory on the cross as an act of triumph (Heb. 2:14; Rom. 16:20). He died and rose so that we might live abundant lives (Jn. 10:10). We affirm and cherish the life we have and the life of the saints gone before us, who now embrace the God-given sabbatical of eternity (Heb. 4).

The Eve of that day is the traditional Halloween. Now, before you bring your Cotton Mather to bear on this question and before you show me some variation of Zechariah’s vision to make a case against offering candies to little kids, and before you claim the ancient Celtic festival as the root of all the world’s evil, let me first lay out my presupposition. And here it is: we practice Halloween at our household because Jesus makes a mockery of evil (Ps. 2, Mat. 23) and because fun is a distinctly Christian virtue. God is a playful God (a powerful Lutheran view, btw), who delights in treating evil with all the playfulness and mockery He can muster. In the divine currency, that’s an infinite supply of it.

I have interacted with anti-Halloween advocates in the Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, and other mainline traditions, which means you all are everywhere. But the simple outline above indicates that what we are doing on Halloween is not giving demonic powers a high-five, but we are exercising our ability as judges of angels (I Cor. 6:3) to rule over everything, including candy and captain boomerang. And if the bar of kit-kat needs saving, someone has to do it. Why not your six-year-old?

Jesus is Lord over demons and outfits of superheroes. I would like to add the caveat that if your eight-year-old is dressed like some sexy version of Catwoman, you’re doing it wrong, but I suspect most of you are more self-aware. You can participate in an event with Presbyterian zeal and have a blast without failing basic biblical principles of modesty.

In my estimation, the best way to prepare to celebrate the saints gone before us is by spending the Eve of that day eating candy, being neighborly, dressing up with your favorite outfit, and singing Psalm 2 as a parting hymn or any Luther classic. Everything is Christ’s, and we are his, and everything the world has is ours (Rom. 4:13). They may drink like sailors and eat their candy like gluttons, but we drink in honor of St. Peter and St. Augustine and eat candy for the joy set before us (Heb. 12:2).

Additional Resources:

What Should Christians Think About Halloween? By Steven Wedgeworth

Concerning Halloween by James B. Jordan

On October 28, 2020 By Uri Brito In Worship Like

Fragments from a Restless Reformer, Part 1517

This is the sort of post that demands lots of footnotes and nuances, but I offer none of it. It’s not because of my inherent idleness, but because I don’t want to which may be linked to my idleness.

My late father had a saying which I never understood until much later in life. He said, “Son, you’re gettin’ a spankin’.”

No.

It wasn’t that one.

It was the one about the dynamics of a well-studied position later in life. Yeah, I really can’t make it into a pithy saying.

The essence of what he said was that trying to change the mind of older saints, especially those who have poured into their conviction bucket for a long time is a difficult task. We should try, he said, but we should reach a point where shaping the hermeneutic is a more important process. As Al Gore once said, “It’s the hermeneutic, stupid!” It’s the process of interpreting facts and how you get there that matters.

So, without further ado, and without apologies, I love the Reformation! I love Luther’s wit, Calvin’s technical debates with Anabaptists, Bucer’s concern for a well-ordered liturgy, and the reformation of song that sprung from a Lutheran dungeon and arrived at a reformation church in Pensacola, Fl.

I didn’t grow up in such an environment, which means it was somewhere between 19-20 that I was exposed to reformational thinking. Not the one shot of espresso kind, I was exposed to the three fingers of scotch kind. Mind you, when I first read Gary North, R.J. Rushdoony, David Chilton and Greg Bahnsen, I hated their agenda. But like the neighborhood kid you despised growing up, you began to look more favorably towards their faults and then you realized that their faults were more in the personality department than in the department of thought. One can always say that if it were not for their weird footnotes, they would be more mainstream. But again, look at what the mainstream produces. Can I get an corporate yuck?

It was later that R.C. Sproul and MacArthur and John Piper and Doug Wilson (one is not like the others) came into my theological salad. These all shaped my thinking in various ways, but it was that snarky and oft-cranky brother, James B. Jordan, with whom I shared probably hundreds of meals together that changed my hermeneutic for good. Now, here’s a story for all you kids that I may not have told. And it goes like this…

There was once a little boy who was enamored by other traditions with pointy hats. Though it wasn’t for very long, it was long enough and my inner commitment to Dutch flowers was being compromised at some level. But as I perused a fancy library one day, I came across a book about creation written by that cranky fella I mentioned above. There was a chapter in there amidst all the hurrahs on creation methodology that was titled something, something, Gnosticism. I still read that chapter once a year to pay homage to my brother who is now elderly and no longer able to display his sharpness to the world.

It was my hermeneutic that changed. I began to walk differently, kicking colored rocks instead of the plain ones. I wasn’t adding an additional year of Greek or Hebrew to my resume, I was adding a way of looking at the world that made me love Jesus more and my Jesus-shaped Bible as well. At that moment, I stopped looking at Rome or Constantinople with so much admiration, and started looking to Geneva’s ecclesiology with great respect. It’s the hermeneutic, stupid! Look at the world around you with consistent eyes and ask, WWZD? What would Zechariah do? And then ask, what would Zephaniah do? And then ask, what would Zaphnath-Paaneah do?

We do need a better orientation on how we look at the world. This is a Christ-shaped world filled with common grace and joy, and the Bible is a welcoming playground for those who have new eyes to see. So, dear friends, a happy season! May your candy be tattooed with graces and sugared with spices from Katie’s kitchen and may you cuss at the right wrongs and not the wrong rights. As Luther used to say, “You may sin boldly, but let your trust in Christ be bolder still!”

On October 26, 2020 By Uri Brito In Culture 2

John MacArthur Resigns After COVID Outbreak

satire-piece

The Tubalcain Times reports the COVID outbreak at Grace Community Church in California. According to the CDM (Center for Disease Miscontrol) 3 members out of the 7,000-member church inherited the obliterating force of the Los Angeles Virus (also known as the L.A. Virus). Though the County suggests that there is a 99.98% survival rate, Grace Community could no longer remain open.

Upon hearing the news, Grace’s pastor for the last 50 years, John MacArthur, affirmed dogmatically, “And now the end is near and so I face the final curtain.” Listeners applauded the pastor’s poetic declaration and overwhelmingly accepted his letter of resignation. As MacArthur exited the building for the last time, the crowds–duly masked–applauded the octogenarian man with shouts of “Time to Say Good-Bye,” a chant popularized by Italian theologian, Andreanis Bocelli.

Local officials gleaming with delight warned the remaining 6,997 non-affected members of doom. They emphatically declared that as a result of their civil disobedience, Thanksgiving is also called off. The L.A. County anticipated their follow-up question and declared that there was no time for Christmas this year either. The stakes are too high and all children should know in advance that there is no such thing as Santa. “The sooner they know the better,” said L.A. official, Ricardo Grinchitis.

We reached out to the elderly John MacArthur for an update. His response was brief: “According to my calculations, exegetically-speaking, Grace Community inadvertently opened the first seal prophesied in Daniel 12.” Delirious after 33 days of quarantine, MacArthur seemed disheveled and keeps to himself these days. Neighbors testify that the disgraced former Grace pastor has even abandoned his distaste and antagonism for wine and picked up a local bottle of his new favorite fermented grape juice called Manischewitz. He appears content to sip on it regularly while sun-bathing in his backyard.