Family Worship Inquiry
A question I love getting from Husbands and Fathers is general advice about family worship. As Fathers, the leaders in covenant homes, we are commissioned by God’s word to teach our covenant children the ways of the Lord every day, and all throughout the day (Deut. 6). We are also instructed in the Proverbs to train up a child in the way they should for when they grow old, they will not depart from it (Prov. 22:6). All of this is reiterated by the Apostle Paul in Ephesian 6 when he commands Fathers to “not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” The weight Fathers feel concerning the task of discipling their families is good and right. Husbands and Fathers have been given a high calling to water their wives with the water of the word of God and to also raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 5 & 6).
I recently received a question about this joyous duty. The central point of this man’s question was about how to achieve family worship consistently when you have a hectic or random schedule. The following is my reply to this concerned Husband and Father with some minor adjustments and additions.
Answer Part 1
The first part of my answer: I think one of the most important things to remember about family worship is that it does not need to look like a Lord’s Day worship service. Remember, that this is family worship with a lowercase ‘w’. It could also very well be called Family Bible study or family discipleship. This does not mean it is unimportant. It is important, like really important. But it is still not equal to Lord’s Day capital ‘W’ Worship. I want to make this distinction so that you know that you need not don a clerical collar, call your family to worship, preach a sermon, assign a son to help distribute the Eucharist, and take an offering before anyone is allowed to brush their teeth and head to bed.
The main thing for you to remember is that you are discipling your family during your time of family worship. This should of course mean reading through books of the Bible with your family and singing Psalms, Hymns, and spiritual songs together. But also, add into the mix books of/on church history, learn Psalms chanting or a new Hymn together, read through The Chronicles of Narnia, or simply pick from many other helpful Christian books to read through and discuss. There are many ways to crack this egg.
Another important thing to practice (which, in turn, is not good for a Lord’s Day Worship setting) is to allow and encourage rabbit trails about our faith and how it applies to every area of life. If your wife or covenant kiddo has a question, spend time answering it. Whatever you do, do not brush it off or move on too quickly. You do not want anyone in your family to feel uncomfortable asking their spiritual leaders questions about their faith. When this happens, that family member is displaying much-valued humility and trust in their spiritual leader. Don’t crush that. That is something to be cultivated, water, and protected.
You specifically mentioned consistency. This is huge. My simple encouragement is to pick a time that works and stick with it. You may need to try a couple of different times before figuring out what works best. That’s OK. If you miss a day, do not grieve as the Gentiles who have no hope. God’s mercies are new every day and His steadfast love endures forever. Get back up and continue mission.
Answer Part 2
Question: What about random schedules?
Answer: Yeah, schedules, especially random ones, are sometimes difficult dragons to slay. The first thing I would figure out is if the randomness is a symptom of something deeper. Some diagnostic questions might be helpful. Do you lack basic time management? Do you lack self-discipline? Beyond that, it might be helpful to choose a form of family worship that works for each context. Decide to do something shorter/easier on the days with less time and extend it for days/contexts that are less busy. If you did that and were able to get something in every day, you and your family would benefit tremendously. Additionally, take advantage of the many audio versions of content that are available to the Church today.
Finally, whatever you do, do it, and don’t ever give up. Giving up teaches a much worse lesson to your family than trying to faithful lead your family and for one reason or another it doesn’t go perfectly. Turns out, on this side of glory, it will never go “perfectly”. Look to Christ in everything you do, and bring your family along with you.
I hope that helps.
“Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.” 1 Corinthians 15:58 (ESV)
