When the Spirit comes, he creates bonds; he binds people together. He does this as the Spirit of the Word, and, therefore, he binds us together with words. When we share the same language and confession, we are able to know one another and work together in a common mission. This is why Pentecost has always been associated with words. When the children of Israel came out of Egypt after the Passover and Exodus, Pentecost was the time that God gave his Law through Moses to Israel to bind them together as a new nation. Pentecost was memorialized every year in a feast that culminated in the giving of the Spirit after the great Passover and Exodus accomplished by Jesus. God gave his Law, his word, to the nations and formed a new holy nation, the church, through the preaching of the gospel as every man heard that word in his own language. The Spirit created new bonds with the word of the gospel so that the church might be able to work together in our common mission to disciple the nations.
Words are spiritual tools and weapons to build and to fight. When we walk in the Spirit, we speak words that build. Our words may also be used to do evil just as any tool or weapon may be used. When we speak evilly, we grieve the Spirit because he is the Spirit of unity who creates bonds of peace.
The mission for which Solomon is training his son in Proverbs is the same mission the church has today: to order everything in the world under the lordship of God’s Son. To accomplish this mission our words must be in harmony with the Spirit of the Word who is the power of re-creation. Solomon instructs his son that when we gossip or listen to gossip, we are sabotaging the mission.
Gossip is destructive speech. Sometimes it takes the form of factual information. Sometimes it takes the form of lies. But it always comes from a malicious intent springing from a disordered heart … even when you add a “bless his heart” at the end of it. Proverbs 11.12 says that the one who speaks contemptuously of his neighbor “lacks heart” (normally translated, “lacks sense”). His affections are improperly ordered which has distorted his way of thinking, his will, and, thus, his actions. His whole disposition to the world is in rebellion against God’s order, tearing it down with his tongue, fueled by a wicked heart.
Gossip is a slippery creature because sometimes it can be mistaken for mere information. God gives a great deal of information about people in the Bible, but it is not gossip. Chloe’s household told Paul about the divisions in the Corinthian church, but that was not gossip (1Cor 1.11ff.). Gossip, when it involves facts, is sharing information that ought not be shared with people who don’t need to hear it. It violates the bounds of propriety. It is invasive and meddlesome, having the purpose of titillating the speaker and listener through knowledge of another person. Gossip is verbal pornography. Everything may be real, but you don’t belong there; and you certainly don’t need to be spreading it to everyone else.
When gossip takes the form of lies, it is easier to recognize; it may be too late because of all the damage done, but lies are, many times, eventually exposed. The lying words about George Floyd (apparently St. George Floyd according to Christianity Today), Trevon Martin, Kyle Rittenhouse, and many others did a great deal of damage before the truth came out.
Whatever form gossip takes, it is destructive and, therefore, antithetical to our mission.
So, why do we do it? Because created in the image of the Father, Son, and Spirit who infinitely know what another, we have a desire to know and be known. We long to be in relationships in which we are known, loved, and accepted. Gossip is a sinful attempt at a short cut to relationships. When we gossip or listen to gossip, we are seeking to endear ourselves to the other person. We now share “inside knowledge.” We have secrets that make our relationship exclusive. Gossip also pursues knowledge of people with whom we want to believe we are in relationship. Why do you think so many people feed off of news about movie stars, athletes, or (the spiritual) famous Bible teachers? We want to believe that we know them in a way that others don’t. Gossip is knowledge. Knowledge is relationship. Relationship is power; power with or over someone.
However, gossip does just the opposite of what most gossipers wish: it destroys. Instead of created bonds, it creates strife (Pr 16.28), being a continual fuel to quarrelling (Pr 26.20-21), separating intimate friends (Pr 17.9). This is the perverted irony of gossip. As with all sin, gossip destroys what it seeks.
Do you engage in gossip? Ask yourself some questions when you begin to speak or listen. Am I a part of the problem or part of the solution? Do I really need to hear this? Is this my business? Am I meddling or being a busybody? What is the purpose here? Is this knowledge going to help, or will it only frustrate me because I can’t do anything about the situation? Am I entertaining rumors or speculation that might be lies?
It is better to be silent when it comes to gossip. The man who remains silent shows a heart of wise discernment (Pr 11.12) and proves himself trustworthy (Pr 11.13). He is a man of character with whom people can entrust themselves, unafraid of him exposing them improperly to everyone else and destroying them. The silent man with regard to gossip is the wise man. If you will be wise, restrain your lips and close your ears to gossip.
