By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Why Must I Forgive?

“Why must I forgive? He did me wrong. He owes me. I deserve justice! It isn’t right that he sins against me, depriving me of my possessions and dignity, and then I am expected to cancel the debt. That’s not fair.”

These thoughts have probably crossed your mind before when dealing with a painful experience of someone sinning against you. But you are a Christian, and the Lord Jesus commands you to forgive your brother when he comes to you asking for forgiveness. If you don’t forgive him, God will not forgive you. Indeed, he will reinstate the debt against you for not forgiving your brother (Mt 18.21-35).

But why? Why is forgiveness of others so important to my relationship with God? Paul says in two different letters that we are to forgive because God in Christ has forgiven us (Eph 4.32; Col 3.13). But why is that a motivation to forgive? Am I to forgive because forgiveness is merely a good deed and Christians do good deeds?

These questions deserve answers. We should understand why God calls us to forgive. He is not merely making us jump through hoops like trained monkeys just to see if we will do it. His purposes for us exhibiting the grace of forgiveness run deep into understanding our existence and purpose.

We are to forgive, first, because God created us in his image to be in relationship with one another.

In Genesis 1 we are told that we are created in the image and likeness of our Triune God. We hear it in God’s deliberations with himself: “Let us make man in our image and after our likeness” (Gen 1.26). We are created in the image of a God who eternally exists in relationship. Because we are his image, relationships are fundamental to our existence. Being-in-relationship answers the most fundamental question of our human existence: “Who am I?” I am intentionally created in the image of a living, personal, Triune God; created by him and for him to be in a fellowship of loving submission to him, peacefully united with others to develop and arrange all of creation according to his will (Gen 1.26-27).

The relationships of Father, Son, and Spirit have been relationships of peace with one another and are, therefore, to be reflected in his image. However, because of sin, this image has been distorted (not completely lost), creating breaches in our peace. Because of this, we are not fully man; that is, we are not what God intended us to be as his image. Forgiveness is necessary to pursue peace and, thus, to restore our true humanity. It has been said, “To err is human but to forgive is divine.” True. But it could also be re-worded: “To err is human but to forgive is to be truly human.”

As humans created in the image of God, we were created for these relationships of peace and, therefore, forgiveness is necessary. Salvation in Christ Jesus is the restoration of this image in us. Therefore, we are to forgive because God’s purpose for man as his image is realized in Christ and his church.

God the Father made a new Adam in the incarnation of Jesus. In his death on the cross, God took from the side of Jesus and made a new woman, the church. Jesus united with his church is now the new humanity (see Rom 5.12-21; Eph 4.17-24). Through Christ and the Spirit, God has restored us to be truly human, faithful images who are growing more and more into his likeness.

Our answer to the fundamental question of life–Who am I?–is, I, through the forgiveness of my sins in Christ Jesus, am a member of Christ’s body and call God Father and all other Christians my brothers and sisters. My life is defined by my relationships with God and his people. In baptism, the forgiveness of my sins is declared, and I am made a part of the body of Christ (see Ac 2.38; 1Cor 12.13). In the Lord’s Supper, this meal of peace rooted in my justification (Rom 5.1), I am told, not only who my family continues to be, but the fact that I am one with them and am, therefore, called to pursue relationships of peace with them. The grace of forgiveness is necessary because we are truly human. God pursued peace with us through forgiveness. To be his faithful image, truly human, is to do the same in our relationships. Not to forgive so that peace may be restored is uncharacteristic and out-of-sync with who I am as the re-created image of God.

Re-creation has begun, but it is not complete. Sin remains a problem. For this reason, we must forgive because forgiveness is necessary for peace between the advents.

God has announced in Christ the new creation through the forgiveness of sins. We are new creation (2Cor 5.17), the ones in and through whom the creation is moving toward its purpose. Our forgiveness of one another for the sake of living in relationships of peace is the faithful announcement to the world that the new creation is here. Our lives of forgiveness are the announcement of the gospel to the world; that Jesus is Lord and is reconciling the world to God. This new creation finds expression in our relationships. When we refuse to forgive, we are false witnesses.

We live in the present in part what we anticipate in its fullness in the future. We forgive, therefore, because forgiveness is a part of the life of faith.

Faith is loyalty or allegiance to God. His word, his agenda, his commands, have captured my heart and mind. What he says shapes everything I think and do. His promises provide hope and draw me to pursue that hope even when I must do things that look crazy to the world … like building an ark when it has never rained and crazy stuff such as that (see Heb 11).

Forgiveness requires faith. Forgiveness says, “God tells me who I am. I do not let others tell me who I am through words or deeds.” Someone else’s sin against me does not keep me in captivity. I forgive because I believe I am what God says and not what they say through their sins against me. My abuser, for instance, doesn’t tell me who I am. I am not a perpetual victim, a worthless person, controlled by fear, anger, and bitterness. I forgive, not just to free the other person, but to enjoy the freedom of God’s declaration about me.

Forgiveness in faith also says, “I am confident that God will make all things right. Therefore, I don’t have to make him pay.” What happened to you wasn’t right, and his refusal to make it right compounds the wrong. But you don’t have to live with this unresolved injustice plaguing you because God declares, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay” (Rom 12.19).

God has good reasons for us to forgive. He desires that we enjoy the life he originally intended in creation and restored in new creation. He desires you to be truly human, and you can’t be if you refuse to forgive. Forgive and live!

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