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On March 19, 2021 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Pursue Peace (Part 2)

The goal of forgiveness is peace, the reconciliation of a relationship in some form, removing the enmity between two people, and having a healthy relationship in this new situation. Reconciliation post forgiveness may not restore the relationship to what it was before the sin occurred, but there can be genuine peace between the offender and the offended.

Offenses will continue to occur as long as we live in this mortal flesh. Consequently, forgiveness will always be a craft we must work at to pursue peace. However, pursuing peace is not limited to our actions after someone has sinned against us or we have sinned against someone else. We are taught to sing in Psalm 34 to “seek peace and pursue it,” a command echoed by Peter (1Pt 3.11) and Paul (Rom 14.19). As much as lies within us, we are to maintain peace in relationships by pursuing those things that make for peace.

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On March 11, 2021 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Pursue Peace (Part 1)

The best defense is a good offense. We often hear this in the world of sports, but it is also generally true in all of life. Proactively pursuing positive, productive disciplines is better than defensively sitting around telling yourself not to engage in this sinful activity or not to think about that sin. What happens when I tell you not to think about a horse? The image of a horse comes to mind. The more you tell yourself not to think about it, the more you find yourself dwelling on it. Instead of defensively dwelling upon what we are not supposed to do, we need to be offensively pursuing what is good, true, and beautiful.

This principle holds true in relationships. Being prepared to forgive is necessary because offenses will come (Mt 18.7). But there are ways to take preemptive strikes against the sins that would destroy our relationship. We do this by pursuing peace. In this article and the next, I will give you some ways to do so in contrast with ways to destroy peace.

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On March 5, 2021 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Why Must I Forgive?

“Why must I forgive? He did me wrong. He owes me. I deserve justice! It isn’t right that he sins against me, depriving me of my possessions and dignity, and then I am expected to cancel the debt. That’s not fair.”

These thoughts have probably crossed your mind before when dealing with a painful experience of someone sinning against you. But you are a Christian, and the Lord Jesus commands you to forgive your brother when he comes to you asking for forgiveness. If you don’t forgive him, God will not forgive you. Indeed, he will reinstate the debt against you for not forgiving your brother (Mt 18.21-35).

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On February 19, 2021 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Wisdom

Forgiveness Is Not…

Most of us don’t like turmoil. When there is tension in our relationships, we want to resolve it so that we can live joyful and anxiety-free. To do that, there are times that we may be willing to short-circuit the process of reconciliation through not dealing adequately with sin. We have been told that, as Christians, we have the responsibility to forgive. Some trying to take this seriously, believe that this means that you release the person from all responsibility for his actions, the necessity for him to change, let him continue the way he is living, and you, being a good Christian, bear all of the scars and residual pain. Or maybe, because we don’t like the discomfort of the whole situation, we dismissively say, “I forgive you” to paper over the sin in the relationship so that we don’t have to do the uncomfortable work of working through it. However, if the goal of forgiveness is peace in a relationship–a healthy wholeness between individuals–then the process of forgiveness can’t be cheapened in these ways. As disciples of Jesus, Christians are called into a lifestyle of forgiveness which involves dealing appropriately with sin and seeking to restore a communion of peace with others.

There are some misconceptions concerning forgiveness that need to be cleared up.

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On January 29, 2021 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Worship

The Prayer of Faith

Times may be about to become rough for those in the USA who are loyal to Jesus. The rate at which blatant, unapologetic wickedness and pure insanity have ramped up over the past four years is quite staggering. While rancor and disputes have always been a part of the political landscape in our country, there was a certain restraint of tolerance on all sides. Those somewhat congenial differences are turning into hardened conflict and a call for total allegiance or cancellation. Tensions are high. The battle lines are becoming clearer and more intense. Now, more than ever, we need to know how to equip ourselves so that our faith will not fail in the trials to come.

There are a number of good men today teaching Christians how to make their households anti-fragile economically. There are Christians who are developing new technological infrastructures that will give Christians a place in cultural conversations without being canceled by big tech. These and other efforts are all necessary for Christians to equip themselves for upcoming trials. But there is something much more basic that we all must do if we are to face trials big or small so that our faith does not fail: pray. The fundamental battle is prayer. If we make all of the other preparations but fail to pray, we will fail.

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On December 8, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Culture, Discipleship

Jesus’ Manhood as Fulfillment of Psalm 128, part 3

Part 1, Part 2

Guest Series from Pastor Rich Lusk

How does the blessed man in Psalm 128 relate to Jesus? Since Jesus must be our measure of manhood, do we see him reflected in the blessed man of Psalm 128? Or does Jesus give us an altogether different view of manhood and masculinity?

At first glance, it may seem that Jesus and the blessed man of Psalm 128 have little in common. Jesus remained single and childless; the blessed man is married with kids, and, ultimately, grandkids. Jesus never had a place to lay his head; the blessed man seems quite prosperous, with a table, food, and a home of his own. Finally, in the climax of his earthly ministry, Jesus seems to be weak and helpless as he is crucified; meanwhile, the blessed man seems strong, competent, confident, and prosperous. In one sense, Jesus lacks the status the blessed man possesses. The blessed man seems decidedly more manly, while Jesus looks weak and unattractive.

But perhaps the contrast is not so great. After all, Jesus does take a bride — the church. Through her, he raises up children — new believers. In the resurrection, Jesus is made Lord of lords and King of kings. All authority, power, and status belong to him. He now has a table over which he presides — the Eucharist — and there he feeds his family the fruit of his labors. The risen Christ has everything the blessed man has, and more. He becomes The Dominion Man — the man who rules over the very earth from which man was made. And indeed, when we look closely at the gospel accounts, we find that even when Jesus was put on trial and then taken away to be crucified, he remained in complete control of the situation. Jesus’ life was not taken from him; he laid it down. He did not die against his will, but willingly, enduring the shame for the joy set before him. He died because it was necessary to fulfill his Father’s plan. He goes to the cross like a warrior who willingly volunteers to die that others may live. But such an act reveals true strength. Indeed, it transforms our understanding of strength — and therefore of masculinity.

On the cross, Jesus might look like the epitome of weakness, a failed man, and a failed messiah. But in reality, he is acting in infinite strength to save the world. The cross is actually his coronation. He is “lifted up ” — exalted, enthroned — on the tree so that he might draw his bride to himself, a bride that will be formed out the blood and water flowing from his side. In the same moment, he is dying at the “Place of the Skull, he is crushing the skull of the serpent under his feet. He shows us a new kind of manhood, one hinted at before but now foregrounded — a man defined by self-giving and sacrificial love, a man who lays down his life to protect and provide, and a man who looks foolish though he embodies infinite wisdom. This man seems weak even as he conquers the world in love, a man who rules through service and who ushers in his kingdom through a cross.

It is very clear particularly in the gospel of John that Jesus is actually in control of all the proceedings from his arrest to his death. He is not a helpless victim but a powerful victor, making certain events unfold according to plan (the fulfilled prophecies along the way underscore that everything in unfolding according to a script). The details in John’s account affirm he is the Sovereign Sufferer.

When Pilate said, “Behold the man,” he was speaking more truly than he knew. This is The Man — the true man, showing true manliness. In a twist of irony, we find this is what blessed manhood really looks like — a man giving all he has for the sake of his bride, a man laying down his life to save his friends, a man losing his life that he may find greater and more glorious life on the other side.

In Mark 15, just as he dies, the Roman centurion confesses him as Son of God, which is a royal title. So far from seeing him as unmasculine because of how he died, the centurion confesses him to be the model man, a ruling man. The cross really is an enthronement and an act of power. No, not everyone saw it that way; not all are given eyes to see. But Jesus was clearly sovereign over his death and even the very moment of his death. He only died when he chose to give up his Spirit. The centurion, who no doubt had seen many crucifixions, had never seen anyone die in this way. It was the ultimate strength amid utter weakness. It was strength disguised as weakness.

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On November 22, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Culture, Theology

Freedom From Fear

Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. ~ Hebrews 2.14-15

Fear is paralyzing. Growing in the soil of uncertainty and the prospect of losing what we hold dear, fear blooms full flower, debilitating us so that we are unable to take the risks of living life. If allowed, fear will tyrannize your life, manipulating all of your thoughts and actions to avoid the perceived threats. You will see the world around you, whether people or air itself, as out to get you and those whom you hold dear. Consequently, you will live your life with a bunker mentality.

One of the main instigators of fear is lack of hope. You see little to no prospect beyond your present circumstances, so you must hold on to whatever you have right now, anxiously guarding it at all costs. And it is costing you. Your health is suffering and your joy is practically non-existent.

If people can convince you to be afraid, they can control you. They can tyrannize you. If they can convince you, for instance, that a virus will take the most precious thing away from you–your life–they can make you comply with all sorts of irrational strictures. Though the science is hardly conclusive, they will convince you to wear a mask, viewing others as a constant threat to your well-being and understanding yourself as a weaponized pathogenic murderer whose breath will slay hundreds around you. They will convince you to cut yourself off from human interaction by covering your face or avoiding holiday celebrations because of the tyranny of fear. You might even become an evangelist of fear, an ordained “Karen,” calling the infidels on social media and in stores to repent and believe the gospel of fear, adorning yourself with the vestments of fear, and participating in the sacraments of fear. You want to save the world through the world joining you in fear of death.

Fear keeps people under control. Rome used fear to bring in and sustain the Pax Romana, the Roman Peace. If a nation didn’t want their gift, they would crucify hundreds and thousands to bring the rest under control. Our governments in the United States use the threat of taking away your livelihood to give you the gift of life. Keep people in fear and they will stay under control.

But what if people are not slaves to fear, especially fear of death, the ultimate threat? What if they have hope that this life is not all there is to this life? Those types of people can be trouble.

Hope is powerful. Hope draws us into the future, infusing our present words and actions with purpose and meaning. Hope will move you to take what others consider “risks,” suffer hardships, and even face death. Hope drives us. Hope defines and directs our lives. Hope subjugates fear.

The Sadducees who questioned Jesus in Luke 20 were a hopeless lot. They didn’t believe in the resurrection. Because of this, everything that they would ever have, they believed, was in this present life. They were the aristocrats in Israel empowered by Rome and liked things the way they were. Jesus proclaiming a kingdom that demands taking up a cross and following him with the hope of resurrection did not appeal to them. They had their best life now. They had their only life now. Jesus and his gospel were not expedient for their present circumstances, and his claims and actions in the temple threatened to undo their present comforts, overturning the system in which they had power and influence. The lack of hope, the fear of death, controlled them. Jesus’ hope and confidence in the face of death drove him into non-compliance with the present powers-that-be and disrupted the status quo. Fearless people rooted in hope always do.

Those of us who have taken up our crosses and followed Jesus are to have the same hope and, consequently, the same fearlessness that he had in the face of the ruling class in Israel. We are not to be controlled by fear of man or his weapon of death. That is bondage. The life that they promise under their tyranny of fear is mere existence; it is amorphous, expressionless faces, empty feasting tables, unpopulated sanctuaries, isolation, and dying alone. They do it all to save your life. They do it, they say, so that you may survive. And you may survive … for a while … but you’re not living.

Christ Jesus, by suffering death on our behalf and rising again from the dead came to free us from the bondage of the fear of death that holds us in bondage. Believe. Hope. Live.

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On November 18, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety

Nouethic Counselor, Jay Adams, has died at 91

I did not want this week to go by without acknowledging the life of Dr. Jay Adams. Dr. Adams was the pioneer of the Christian Counseling movement who died a couple of days of ago at the age of 91. I have been meditating quietly about his words and perusing a couple of his works during writing breaks.

God has been gracious in allowing me to meet godly men throughout my life. Among them, was the joy of meeting Dr. Adams on at least seven occasions and interviewing him a couple of times and speaking on the phone at least twice. The last time I spoke with him, many years ago, I had a pastoral question that needed some wise counsel. I will never forget our opening exchange: “Good morning, Dr. Adams, this is Pastor Uri Brito. How are you this morning? “I am 80-years- old. What do you expect!?”

That kind of succinct humor and a heavy dose of directness characterized his 100+ books as well as lectures and life. Adams was a forthright man in methodology and in matter-of-fact-ness. I mentioned in a lecture several years ago on the Christian Counseling Movement that Adams came into the scene to offer something Christian after over 100+ years of silence on the topic. I once surveyed Counseling books written between 1900-1950 only to find that there were only a handful of books that made reference to the Bible, and those that did only mentioned it tangentially to preserve the “Christian Psychologist” status.

Adams was not like that. He took the tabula rasa of Counseling material in the day and filled it, nay, saturated it with Biblical texts. He was an unashamed biblicist who sought to bring God’s truth into every facet of life. I have no interested in investing time in criticizing his style or his disciples, and there is some criticism to go around, rather I want to acknowledge that God has used Adams to instill habits among men who are lazy, gluttonous, addicted, unlawful, and uncaring. He has done the same for women who are rebellious, angry and mourning. For every one who says they were hurt by the Adams’ nouthetic model, I know another who was comforted and happily confronted by it.

As I mentioned above, Adams’ counsel was direct. How direct? In his 1972 work on “Christian Living” he opened a paragraph on the lack of love in the home with these words: “If love has grown cold in your family, husband, you must do something about it.” There is more to this advice, but it summarized Adams’ vision to set men to action. If anything, Adams viewed life as action; a series of habits which formed and informed our lives. While only in the last few years we have seen a tsunami of works on the role of habits and rituals in shaping the Christian experience, Adams was already talking about the need for renewed habits in the 70’s.

He was a theological rebel in his Presbyterianism. He held to partial-preterism, was not a sabbatarian, was not particularly fond of the Puritans, and detested much of Reformed preaching. It was this unique flavor that Adams brought to everything he endeavored and as one who changed important theological positions by reading him, I am indebted.

I am grateful for his legacy and am actively involved as a certified pastoral counselor in the continuation of that pioneer work, though the movement has certainly morphed in these last 30 years. Adams was that inimitable voice that the Church needed to wake her up from her slumber. She did, and millions of people give thanks to God for the work of competent counselors who serve the sad, the sick, and the sinner who can only find refuge in the lover of our souls, Jesus Christ.

R.I.P. Jay E. Adams 1929 – 2020

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On October 21, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Men, Wisdom

Letters To Young Men: Frame

Young Men,

It has been a little while since my last letter. Some other projects needed attention.

In dealing with issues of masculinity, I have written to you concerning the state of masculinity in our culture, the man and his mission, as well as how to develop your mission. This letter fits hand-in-glove with the previous two. It is inseparable and, indeed, integral to your mission: frame. It is impossible to complete your mission without frame, and it is impossible to have frame and not have a mission. Frame is a concept used in the field of psychology. The manosphere men didn’t invent it, but they have fruitfully explored it in how it relates to masculinity and, more specifically, intersexual dynamics.

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On October 18, 2020 By In Counseling/Piety, Discipleship, Theology, Worship

The Temple of the Lord

From a distance, it must have been an awe-inspiring sight. There, sitting atop a mountain was a magnificent work of architectural art. Jutting up above the walls and drawing the eye to itself sat the Temple in Jerusalem. On a mountain peak outside the city looking in, one could see this marvelous structure, buzzing with human activity, and, if the wind was just right, one could smell the aromas of meat grilling on the altar. The beauty of the Temple told the onlookers and worshipers that this was the place where one came to meet the God of Israel and to be a part of his people. This is where one went to meet God and sit and have a communion meal with him, finding life.

During Jesus’ day, the Temple had become an architectural deception. Though everything about it screamed “LIFE,” it had become nothing more than an elaborate tomb, filled with rotting flesh and the stench of death. There was nothing there to satisfy the soul. This happened over the years of neglect and rebellion. Certainly, no one intended for it to turn out this way in the beginning. It probably started slowly and crept like a slow-moving cancer through the years until the time when Jesus came and gave the diagnosis and pronounced it dead (Lk 19.45-48).

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